D.B.
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My daughter is 9. Since about the age of 7, she refused to wear jeans. She said they made her bottom feel dry or itchy, and sometimes she just said they felt weird. So, we went out and bought a few pairs of cotton, elastic waist pants for her to be more comfortable. This seemed to do the trick, until we tried a different style/brand of cotton pants. We had to go out and buy the same pants in several colors just so she would have something to wear each day. Summer time is NEVER an issue. She can wear skirts or skorts (although skorts were an issue this past summer) and is fine. When she gets home from school, the first thing she does is strip right down to her underwear, regardless of the season. (We live in Michigan). After reading some of the posts here, I feel kind of bad, thinking that she might have a mild case of the sensory integration disorder. She is picky about some foods. Certain things she likes and will eat when given, and then all of the sudden, she refuses it. Even if she ate it for the previous meal. I sent her off to school this morning complaining of her pants bothering her, because all this time, I thought she was just being stubborn and trying to get her way by giving me a hard time in the morning. Her behavior at school has always been reported as good, and she gets good grades. However, her attitude at home is poor and very stubborn. I am wondering, if she DOES have some type of sensitivity issue, and I'm making her wear clothes that are really uncomfortable to her, am I causing her bad attitude later on from dealing with it all day long at school? I feel like a horrible mother, if this is what the issue is... Please offer any advice you might have! Thanks!
Sue H. ~ I have been chalking the entire issue up to her wanting to be in control for the last couple of years. I honestly don't know what to think about this specific behavior with the pants. She is a very willful child, and definitely likes to have HER way, but when we are standing out at the bus stop, and the bus is in sight, you would think she would knock it off and realize that she didn't win. She continues to fidget, will squat down even, seemingly to alleviate whatever is bothering her. This morning she actually complained that her bottom felt "dry", right before the bus got there. I know that her behavior needs to be taken under control, but I would hate to find out that she really "feels" what she says she is, and I ignored it thinking she was being a brat. I just don't know how to help her, she gets frustrated with me when I try to get comfortable pants to wear, and the whole situation just ends up in a meltdown. :(
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the clothes might be part of the issue. I like my shirts baggy and everyone buys me smaller shirts. they irritate me. I cant stand turtle necks and hate skirts. so let her wear skirts what is the point of the battle she needs some independence of making her own decisions but put a length restriciton on them. I think her age is a contributing factor. you might be causing her bad attitude by not enforcing enough and on the other hand if you do enforce it will get worse and if you dont enforce you are in for a major problem in a couple of years. hang in there.
Try lathering her bottom up with Aquaphor, that may help.
My son has clothing issues as well, he's learned that he wears what I put him in to go to school or other outings, but when he's home he gets to wear what he wants (usually just underwear). I try to find him clothes that he will think is comfortable, but sometimes its just not possible.
You should try to accommodate your daughter, but she also needs to learn that sometimes she just has to deal with it. You're not a bad mother, you're a great mother who has been doing it right all along.
L.,
This can definitely be a sensory integration issue. Find a pediatric occupational therapist who can give you some techniques to help her. I used to be an early intervention specialist and we used a scrub brushing technique that worked wonders.
Good luck and God bless,
Victoria
honestly, if she has sensory issues, ......eventually she'll learn to cope with it thru behavior modification. AND if she can wear panties....please!! then what's the big deal with soft cotton pants? If it truly were sensory issues, then wouldn't it be the panties.....right next to her skin.....triggering the sensation??
I'm leaning more toward this is her own personal preferences. She was able to wear the pants that she liked until you bought a "different style/brand"....that, to me, is a very important aspect of your daughter's story! Which also ties in with the whole "eat this one night, & not the next day" part! I'm seriously thinking she's battling for control, she may very well have definitive preferences.....but when she's okay with it one day & not the next.....huge red flag pointing toward control issues! Good Luck!
L.,
There is no sense beating yourself up for not realizing that she was not trying to push your buttons on this issue. Take her to an Occupational therapist and get her the help she needs. It is not an uncommon issue, but it sounds to me like your daughter is not making this up to be stubborn. What would she have to gain? I really doubt that she could cook up the two most common sensory issues and stick with them for this long in a clasic sensory intergration disordered pattern just to get her way. There is help out there, and there is no sense in looking back. Go forward, and if you can get her clothing that make her feel comfortable, get it. You are not alone, for sure. This is a real issue, and you can move forward and get her some help.
M.
No reason to feel bad. You should talk to her about it and explore what seems to be the source of the problem. Sometimes two things look identical to me, but my son will point out minute differences that make them different feeling to him. One day he will eat corn that has just the right amount of salt and butter and the next day, I might use a different brand of butter and it will not taste the same to him. Simply put, he experiences the world differently from me.
I don't know if your daughter does or does not have some processing difficulties. You should pick up a copy of the Out of Sync Child and see if see your daughter in the descriptions. If she does have some SID, it seems mild and I would recommend a "sensory diet". If you google the term you will come up with tons of suggestions, but it basically is designed to get her to better process sensations.
Good luck,
C.
