My child does not want to wear clean underwear each day. She hides them so she can wear them from the previous day and if you catch her she throughs a tantrum. She has other cloths issues as well. They can not be tight on her body and she has to wear everything 1 to 2 sizes bigger. What do I do about this??
She is 3.5, and we have had this issue since before she was 3. I have thought about a sensory disorder but I am not sure if I really want to put a lable on it at this point. She does have other clothes issues. They can't have elastic, tags too tights or a itchy matteral. She must wear cotton clothes. She can't wear girl jeans because they are slim fiting she has to wear boy jeans or they must be very very loose. Cotton dress' are the best. But fresh underware are the wosrt because they are tight until she wears them for a few hours then they are loose. I have bought the same underware and they all look the same but even if they are white and you give her a different pair she knows right way how they feel when they are clean. We have changed laundry soap incase there was something in that causing her issues.
Do you think it could be a sensory issue? Does she have any other sensory things that she is sensitive to? Just a thought.
I would buy multiple undies exactly the same.....
It sounds like a sensory disorder to me, though I'm no expert. But you said you don't want to put a label on it at this point, but I'm wondering why? If there's something that can help your daughter, wouldn't you want to do it? If she had an ear ache, would you not take her to the doctor because you didn't want to label an ear infection? And wouldn't you want the help if you could avoid these constant struggles with her over clothes? Wouldn't it be easier to have an answer? And if it turns out that there's nothing wrong, it would be a relief, right? Knowledge is power!
J.,
I completely understand the reluctance to give your child a label, but early treatment of sensory processing disorder (SPD) can make a huge huge difference in a child's life (my daughter was diagnosed at 18 months). The treatment involves seeing an occupational therapist and providing what is called a sensory diet at home and school - where she can perform activities that will relieve her sense of being overwhelmed by sensory imput. Borrow this book from the library - The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz - it has an easy to use and very reliable checklist to determine if your child could have SPD. If that does seem to describe your child, ask your dr for a referral to an occupational therapist or go to www.spdfoundation.net and look in their directory. This website also has tons of great info about SPD.
I am co-author of a book called "Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder: a guide for parents with a sensory-sensitive child" by Chris Auer and S. Blumberg. I also host a monthly support group for parents of kids with SPD. I encourage you to at least have an evaluation to rule out SPD, so you can make an informed decision about what she needs.
What about letting her wear two clean pairs the first day, one on top of the other. Then the second pair is still clean, but will be stretched out the way she likes it the second day? Might not work if the two pairs are even tighter than one, but it might, and it would give you peace every other day at least.
The thing about sensory disorders is that there is therapy for them to make them better. I know you said you don't want to label it, but with the therapies that you do, she can outgrow them. The earlier you do things like that, the better. If you wait for her to outgrow them on her own, that might not happen, and it might hinder her in school. If you get her some help now, she could be doing better by kindergarten. The best point to put a label on something that responds to early intervention is before school age. A sensory disorder does not have to be a big deal to get help with, but living with it can be very difficult, as I'm sure you know if that is what she is dealing with. Maybe you could post a question to get some feedback from the moms who've dealt with sensory disorders and gotten early intervention (or not) and see what they have to say about it.
Use the same trick a lot of us ladies use with our jeans. I know my jeans always fit better if I don't dry them in the dryer, so they get hung over the shower pole to dry. Try letting your daughter's underwear dry naturally after washing.
Hi, my daughter is the same age and is very particular about what she wears. I have to say she does not seem to care if something is clean or dirty. I have to constantly tell her we don't wear dirty clothes. I suspect my daughter would try to wear the same underwear everyday if I let her. Your daughter is probably just going through a phase.
Is it really that big of a deal? Is her underwear "dirty?" YOu might think I'm a slob or something, but my kids don't bathe every day, nor do they change their underwear (well, except for the one who has accidents all the time) every day. Whatever happened to the Saturday night bath to wash the week's dirt off before church? I don't think most countries are as obsessive about bathing as the U.S. is.
Another option, if the problem is that they're tight, try stretching them out. Or buy a size bigger.
buy a size larger. my 6 yr old is wearing size 8 underwear and my 4 yr old is in size 6. they are skinny kids. but that is what it took for them to stop complaining about the tightness of the elastic. if you've already tried that, can you sew underwear for her? you could have control over the softness of the fabric and tightness of the elastic. you could cover the elastic in fabric. maybe you could use more fabric softener on her clothes. let her choose the scent.
you could stretch them out first or not dry the completely in the dryer and then pull them out and give them a good stretch. Have you tired other styles of underwear. They make a "boy short" (but they may be too big for your daughter right now) my daughter loves them and hates all other underwear. She also hates jeans. She mostly wears dresses. This year we had uniforms and she hated the "girl" tops and I had to buy her all boy ones.
Socks must be a nightmare.
My first question would be, how old is your daughter? This is not the unusual for young kids. You might just want to go in and dress her each day until she understands. Or maybe you just get all her underwear the exact same so she has no idea if they are new each day or not. If she is older, I would worry more that she is having tantrums than the underwear thing.
As far as wanting her clothes to be bigger, just get her clothes that are styled to fit looser, like babydoll shirts and skirts. She may just not like tighter clothes. I wouldn't buy bigger to accommodate that need though. The nice thing about being the parent is you have control over what your child does and even though she might through tantrums, just be strong and you will eventually prevail.
Overall, if you find that none of these things are working, I would talk to her doc and see if something else is going on.
Good luck!
Hi J.-a lot of the suggestions are great, but they just treat the symptoms--not the issue, which could be a sensory disorder. I totally understand not wanting the label, but it could make your life so much easier to address it. My cousin has a child with sensory issues and once she started working with a specialist, the behavior changed dramatically and life was easier for both of them. Your pediatrician should have a recommendation of who you should see. Sometimes, insurance totally covers it too. Good luck!
How old is your child? if shes younger its probobly just a phase i would make sure you takes her dirty underwear off each night and put them in the wash.
you might also try just washing her underwear and clothes in water, except when they are really dirty, or doing an extra rinse. i read an article that we really don't need the soap or at least the amount of soap that the detergent companies recommend and that cleaning wih just water can usually be just as effective.
I would also suggest that you not use soap on her skin when she bathes. She may have sensitive skin and that is what causes the irritation. Again, we really don't need the soap unless we are extra dirty. Just shampoo and of course soap when you wash her hands. I have sensitive skin and whenever I do use soap I have to slather on the lotion otherwise my skin gets itchy and irritated by my clohes.
If it helps you feel better i went through a phase as a child where I did not want to wear jeans or anything tight because it bugged me. I turned out fine:) I wear jeans all the time time:)
