Clingy 10 Month Old

just remind yourself its a phase and it will pass

Hey J... I just went through that with my 9month old... you just have to get through it one day at a time.... I know its tough listening to them cry but sometimes that is the only way to be able to get anything done and your son will realize eventually that you are not leaving him forever just for a few minutes... Hang in there...

I went through that with my oldest daughter and what I had to do was just let her cry. I took her to her grandparents house or a family member house and left her. I stop picking her up all the time and feeling guilth for her crying. Kids are only going to do things you allow them to do.

Dear J.,

I finally had to just put the play area away and let my son's toys in the room and have a basket ready to put them in when he wasn't using them. You may not have had a clingy baby before. The baby does it because of his individual needs. He will give up the need for you when it is right for him, and by the way, the best way that young ones communicate is with their bodies. So touching you is very important to him. Just saying that you will be right back doesn't really reassure him right, why don't you say, I am going to the kitchen, do you want to come with me, and offer your hand or pick him up.

It is just the way that babies are. So don't worry that you are harming him by giving in right at this age. Now, crying is not a bad thing, and doesn't hurt them to do it. My two great grandchildren were cry babies, for sure. So I have had to listen to a lot of crying in my lifetime with babies and I haven't lost my hearing yet. I say that they deserve an Academy Award sometimes because the crying is so fierce and sorrowful. Cute, huh?

Just think, in two more months he will be one year old and do something different.

C. N.

Hi J.,

Do you have any pets? If you do not, I would try getting a gold fish or some pet that is not more overwhelming than you not having "me time". I was my children's entertainment for the longest time, until I finally told my husband that I am getting a dog. He was not an animal lover like I am, but I had to do something. It worked. I gave each one a responsibility for our pet. That did wear off and I did end up taking care of our dog. It gave us a chance to concentrate on ourselves more. I also got a animal toy that repeated my son's words when they spoke to it. Maybe a playmate will be the answer. Then you will have two to look after.

I don't know if you have anyone that you can leave your child with, but leaving your child with a trusted person for a day or two will get him over the abandonment phobia. It is normal for a child to want their parent around. It is healthy for your child to know that you will come back for them. Play a game of hide and seek with him. Like everything else, he will grow out of it. I hope you get some work done in the meantime.

My youngest daughter had this kind of problem. We took a Mommy and Me class at My Gym that helped alot with independent play. It took a few weeks and alot of patience but she became interested because of the stimulating environment. Pretty soon her security carried over to the rest of our life. Good luck,I have 3 myself and it is hard when one is demanding all of your time.