Clenched Jaw, Grinding Teeth, and Difficulty Playing with Others

He sounds a bit like my little guy who is now almost 6. I think at that age it is still "normal" for them to parallel play, rather than play together. Granted some children are better at playing together at this age than others - mine was not. My boy is smart beyond his years, and even now, although he has friends at school is still somewhat of a loner. He finds it better talking with older children and is not a rough and tumble little boy, although he is starting to "catch up" in that department. It could also be a personality thing with your little man - genetics is a wonderous thing - can you or your significant other think of how you were growing up? Unfortunately we can't always choose the traits we pass on to the next generation, and I have to say, some of the things I see in my boy I have experienced - thankfully he is not as painfully shy as I was!! Yes, I think you are on to something with the "stress" angle too, you probably just have to reassure him and include him and his brother in "unimportant" decisions if you know what I mean. Sounds like you are doing everything right though Mom!

See a dentist about the jaw problem, I do this, have done it since I was a kid, and I have permanant ringing in my ears from nerve damage, and it is a really painful issue, so you need to get the bottom of it as the jaw is very powerful and can cause a lot of issues. It can be a behavioral way to deal with frustration. You need to get to the bottom of it. Could his social differences cause frustraion?

Question: Why do you say "explore toys?" That is jumping out at me, especially with the precice content of everything else you wrote about your son. This is a very conistent description of a very specific pattern of behavior for a child with some issues that do need attention, if they are caused by a developmental issue. How does he play with toys? What is it about adults that he likes? Does he seek them out and engage them when he could engage someone who is younger? Does he know what he has bored adults? Does he understand that adults are not playmates? Is there a subject that he likes more than other subjects? Does he "corner" adults who are too polite to turn him down? Are you sure that children his own age are not saying anything, or has he just not noticed when they speak?

I would not ignore it, and I would look very seriously at his developmental levels. I do not like to suggest diagnosis to anyone, but I think it would be worth your while to read about asperger syndrome. If nothing clicks now, let it go. But keep an eye on him, and when ever you find yourself asking if he is typical about anything else, come back to this question and add two and two together.

M.

I would make an appointment with the dentist to see if his jaw and teeth are OK. He could be grinding because his jaw is out of alignment. I thought of this because you said he's clenching his jaw crookedly. I clench and grind my teeth and know others who also do this and it's not done crookedly. I think that when clenching and grinding is caused by stress it's also done at night or even especially at night.

I wouldn't be concerned about friendships at this age. Many three year olds are not yet ready to play with others. Yours may be and that's why he prefers playing with the older child.

I wouldnt be overly concerned about the way he interacts with children his own age...it sounds to me like the older children are more on his "level" and he simply feels more comfortable with them.
Is he on any prescription medication of any sort? I know he is young..but I work at a pharmacy and know that a LOT of children his age are already on medications for allergies...etc. Some medicines have jaw clenching/teeth grinding as a side effect. I noticed myself clenching my jaw ( to the point that my joint is now VERY tender) and then found out, quite by accident that one of my meds was known to cause that side effect. I have gone off that medication and the jaw clenching is going away rapidly! I would also make an appointment with a pediatric dentist to find out if there is an obvious reason for this that the dentist would be able to see.

How does he ask at daycare? Maybe he has been hurt by some of the kids there and doesn't want to be around any kids that age. Both my kids seem to rather play with olderchildren. And since my children are the younger ones out of friends and neighbors children, they get their wish. I would talk to the people at the day cares. And if he has nannies, how much time are you spending with him? Maybe spending some more one on one time with him with help. As far as grinding his teeth, it could be b/c of being stressed, or it could also be he's just learning something new and maybe has just developed a habit of doing it now. Check for any new teeth coming in.