I can totally relate!! This year was my son's first year in pre-school, and obviously it was also all of his classmates first school experience as well. They had a lead teacher & a co-teacher. these two ladies were AMAZING!! They worked hard, many times using their own personal time & I know they spent money out of their own pockets. I thought of the class gift idea arund the holidays as well, and began to talk about it with other Moms & Dads. I took charge of it by the last month of school & wrote a letter to be sent home with each child. My letter very specifically stated the amount we thought was far and the fact that any amount would be appreciated as I know not everyone 'feels comfortable' with the amount stated. I gave ample time, my phone # and my email. Out of 14 kids, I got money from 11 people. I struggled with what to put on the card & decided to list the 11 names, and I did leave the other off. I did not feel good about it, but it seemed like the right/fair thing to do. I know his teachers being the polite people they are, wrote a card thanking everyone.
My son does go to a private school, which does require tution, but we are in a very working class area. I took that into consideration. All I would have liked was a text, call or email from the 3 families just kind of RSVP'ing that they chose not to participate. Instead, I felt awkward, like maybe they didn't see the letter, or maybe they thought they really couldn't give less.
Either way, both teachers received an AWESOME sized gift card to a very nice place & they were both touched. At the end of it all, that's all that really mattered to me. The teachers felt the warmth & kindness intended by the gift. I'll do it again next year :)