Circumcision/revision Question

Updated on March 22, 2010
S.T. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
10 answers

Ok so when my son was born almost 5 years ago, it was important to me that he be circumcised before we left the hospital. To me it was important to have it done there and not have to wait a couple of weeks to get it done at his doctors office. I now regret that decision all the time. I did not know the dr who was performing this very delicate procedure and learned 20 months later that they had not done a good job. My DH and i did not realize until our next son was born and had his done what this should really look like, at this time we consulted my older DS's dr and got a referal and got the revision done soon after. SO here is my question...is there anything that can done now, is it normal that he is always messing with his parts? It looks very different from my younger son's, as it always to be 'big' it doesn't go down to the complete flacid look and i am terrified it will begin to affect him and that it may not work properly, any advice or comments are appreciated. Please do not debate on whether or not we should have it done, only constructive things. Thanks.

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M.B.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I would suggest having a your pediatrician evaluate him regarding appearance, use and future complications. I would not think he would have problems later, though anything is possible. Not all genitals look a like. I can attest to even girls having varying shape, color and skinfolds. Even "tags" so to speak. So different is not necessarily cause for concern. Now undiscernable or extreme variation would be. Not appearing flacid may have to do with amount of scar tissue at the site. It is possible more scar tissue to form due to either a genectic condition with you child that causes more than needed scar tissue or poor procedure where more scarring happened due to error. As for "playing" with himself. This is normal, do not make him ashamed. Just remind him that is private to be done in privacy and requires handwashing, just as going potty or getting his boogers.
Here is a link to the best laymen's explanation of freud's psychosexual development http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosexual_development

Many prayers that this be nothing and that your son will not be affected.
-MB

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M.J.

answers from Birmingham on

Little boys mess with their parts allot some more than others so I wouldn't worry about that at all!! As for how it looks - I also wouldn't worry about that - I have 2 boys (3 and 5) and theirs both look different and my 5 year olds seems to look 'big' allot but the times I am seeing it is when he is peeing etc. so try not to worry. I of course would talk to the urologist about your concerns and make sure everything is ok and if it is I would try not to worry about it. Don't beat yourself up about this - I'm sure he will grow up and be totally fine!!

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P.G.

answers from Tulsa on

It is normal that he is always messing with it. That's an ongoing thing with little boys, and will only get worse (around 13 oe 14!).
As for being different, with having 2 procedures instead of one, it may be that. If you are really concerned, ask your pediatrician about it. He's the expert.

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M.P.

answers from Texarkana on

Considering that you aren't watching it 24/7, I can bet you it does go flaccid, just not when you are looking. This is normal for a young boy. They get erections a lot. And it is very normal for them to touch and pull on it. It is in their genes, so to speak, and they are hard-wired to have their hands on it. So, don't worry, your little boy is normal.

Updated

Hope you got a lot of good advice!

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Your son might just be one of those kids who constantly messes with it, and it might have nothing to do with it. And as far as appearance, my son's and my nephews were both done successfully and turned out perfectly, but the difference in appearance between them is amazing to me. I know they all look different but I guess I never thought they would look that different. I mean, ears don't look THAT different from each other.

But I would take him to a urologist. Is a urologist the one who did the revision? Regardless of who did it, it is never a bad idea to have a specialist follow up after a few years to make sure it is still growing normally. I am surprised your son's pediatrician didn't say anything about your's son's procedure when he was a newborn. That is one of the things my pediatrician checked regularly. I think that is a little negligent on their part. I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this. It is a tough situation. And don't let anyone make you feel bad. There are medical reasons to do it (or at least that is what my doctor's were advising at the time, and that is all I could base my decision on- what was known at the time), whether people agree with those or not. And the odds of something going wrong are small, it just sucks when it does happen.

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

It is normal that he is always messing with himself....he is a boy, that's what they do, and everyone will think just that-even if he is messing with it for another reason, like it is uncomfortable somehow, poor guy!- Hope this isn't the case!

Talk with a specialist if you need that to ease your mind. Try to remember that we all look different and try not to focus on this part of it...as long as it functions properly- that's all that matters.

I had problems with 2 circumcisions out of the 6 boys in my family- Oldest Stepson, was born on base in Germany, and didn't get fixed till he was 8 and my oldest took about the first 8 months of his life (he always looks like it doesn't go completely flaccid and is bigger than his bro but he has been checked and is just fine) to get completely straightened out-Whew! I sure am glad all that's over, I SO remember that stressful feeling of guilt/dread and over all worrisome-ness...is that even a word?

I asked all the questions and got the 2nd and 3rd opinions to ensure everything was in proper working order. And now I have let it go.

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M.R.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My two cents - this is a medical question requiring professional/medical experience. Go to your child's doctor, have him/her examine your child and ask all these questions. If you do not like the answers, make an appt. with a Urologist and again ask all these questions. Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Birmingham on

You can tell that your motherly instinct may be telling you that something may need a medical evaluation. I can't understand by your posting if you've had another procedure done for him to correct what may have been wrong in the beginning. I wouldn't hesitate one day to call a recommended doctor and check to see what (if anything) needs to be done and then move quickly to have it corrected. The older he is the more embarrassment he may experience and kid's really do seem to recuperate quickly from some difficult procedures. The stamina is amazing! Thankgoodness for that! Follow your instinct and get a recommendation from other moms in your area on a good dr. to take a look at him.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I would take him to see a urologist. They know all about the "workings" of these things. I had never heard of a bad circumcision other than the couple of times it's been brought up on here. All the boys in my family were circumcised at the hospital with no problems.

I really feel for you. Take him to someone who specializes so you can get the answers to your questions.
Some boys do fiddle with their parts more than others. It may be completely unrelated. Get some expert advice and best wishes.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It is completely normal for your son to explore his boy parts!

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