CIO Vs Responding, Yet More Sleep Help

I hear your pain! I will give you my two cents... this wasn't reccomended by any doctor, but my mother in law told me she did this with my hubby's brother and worked like a charm: I started giving my little one cereal before putting her down for the night. i made her meal late (around 9 or 9:30), and it consisted of milk (breast and later formula)and a serving of cereal. This kept her tummy full longer and helped her sleep deeply. My "little" girl is now 7 years old. She is not overweight by any means (pretty slim, actually), so don't be concerned about her gaining extra weigh...

Hi J., I'm a Mom and a Grandma or 2, my grandaughter is 5 months old adn was waking up at night, are you supplementing her diet with anything other than breast milk? If not you may want to introduce her to some cereal at night (My daughter simply mixes Gerber cereal up with her breast milk) Perhaps if she is more satisfied she won't wake up as many times. And your right, this too shall pass. All the best to you.

Hi J.,

It sounds like you guys parent almost identically to the way we do, right down to the books we've read and trust! I have to admit, I have an 8 month old who is giving us a lot of trouble at night right now, but here's what eventually worked for DD#1.

When she was closer to 10 or 11 months, Mommy would only go in if I thought she was hungry (we settled on midnight and 4 a.m as feeding times, give or take half an hour). At other times, Daddy would go in to comfort and rock her. Yes, she did scream and throw a fit for the first few nights of Daddy, but what was important to us was that she was not crying ALONE, but in the arms of a loving parent. After a few nights, she would still cry a little when she saw Daddy coming in instead of Mommy, but she settled down for him in 2 or 3 minutes. I think it was close to a month before she stopped waking up at the "Daddy times", but eventually she adjusted to the schedule and only woke for the feedings.

After that, we started pushing that midnight feeding back, first to 1:00, then 2:00 (with Daddy comforting until then), until we were only nursing once at night. I kept up the early a.m. feed well into the second year because it got all of us more sleep. If I didn't nurse her around 4 am, she'd be up before 6 begging for her breakfast. With a early morning feeding, I could get her back in the crib and sleep in longer.

Hope that helps!
--J.

J.,
This happened with my 1st son when he was 6 months old. I read everything, each book told me something different. One told me to go in and comfort for 15 minutes every hour to reassure, another told me to ignore, another said to sleep in baby's room and ease slowly over time out of the room!
I eventually did the ignore, that book said the 1st night baby will cry 15- 20 minutes then each night less, by the end of the week it will all be done! It was 45 minutes to an hour each night for 3 weeks. What I'm getting at is each child is different, they all need to come with their own manual. I decided to do the ignore bit, my son was starting to depend on me too much, he would cry when I left his sight, when I came into his sight he would stop, like a light going on and off! Also a seven month old baby doesn't need to nurse in the middle of the night, unless you want to do this forever,
I would nip it in the bud. I don't know who Dr. Weissbluth is, I can't imagine what circumstances a child of that age would still need a middle of the night feeding!

P.S. My son is now 20 years old and we never had any other sleep problems.

D.

This is a exciting time devolopmentally for your daughter. She is probably trying new activities during the day i.e. rolling over, sitting up, seeing the world in a whole new light. Sometimes during these milestones I found that my son would wake up more at night just to touch base. It may take a couple of weeks for things to settle down. I know it is hard, I've been through it, but it does get better. Don't think that this issue will last. I would reccommend trying whatever you feel is the best for your daughter. Whether that is nursing her 5 times a night or letting her cry. You know her better than anyone. What ever habits develop from this you can easily break, I wouldn't get too hung up on that. Sounds like you are doing a great job thus far.

Hi J.. I sounds like you are very well-read on the topic of healthy sleeping and you are doing everything right. As you said, this could simply be one of those phases that will go away after a week or two. I think you are correct about "rewarding" her for waking up. From my experience with CIO (without responding), crying on and off for 45 minutes was pretty normal for the first day or two. Then the crying time began to diminish significantly. Although, listening to your baby cry for 45 minutes is one of the most uncomfortable experiences you can have. It may as well be 5 hours, because that's what it feels like.

Aside from holding firm with the CIO, the only idea I can think of is possibly adding a new component to the bedtime/soothing routine. I don't know if there is any downside to this, but could you go into the room and re-start a lullaby CD or some sort of music on the mobile that you use during every naptime/bedtime routine? No talking, but just start the music and leave.

Also, you may want to evaluate her behavior around the third nap (if she is taking one). Perhaps she is hitting the stage in which she no longer needs it.

It sounds like you are really doing a great job, so hang-in there!

Please take into account the following whenever you are reading my message: I don't know you personally and cannot see inside your circumstances. I can only tell about your situation through your explaination. What I'm hearing is alot of big words and alot of opinions about what you should do from all of these amazing books that you have read. I remember with my first one, wanting to do everything right. It sounds like you are focused on the details and the development (you used that word several times) to an exact precision. I think with your little angel only being 7 months-go ahead with the night feedings. As long as she is not playing, she needs it, and you are able to function during the day with this-IT'S FINE. If she just wakes up and plays, she'll eventually fall back asleep. If she's fussing, leave her alone. If she's screaming her little head off, comfot her once and tell her you love her and "See ya later." I remember when my daughter was 9 months old. I had to put her to bed for the first time without her falling to sleep on me. For an entire week, she screamed for 45 minutes. My heart was falling out of my chest. With the second one, I knew my mistakes and I was more comfortable with a little one. You have to go with YOUR gut instinct and do what you feel is best. I believe that us moms have that voice in the back of our heads that tells us what to do. We just need someone to confirm it for us. Good luck and listen to your heart. By the way, I always loved the night time feedings and cherished that bonding time in darkness and quiet.

Hi - I did CIO when my tot was approx 5-6 months old. It works but it can take time. Up to two weeks or more, depending on the baby's temperment. I would give her a massage, bath, bottle and then straight to bed. Every night, the same exact thing, same exact time. I'd put her in the crib and say night-night and shut the door. It was hard but after 3-5 nights she learnt. Babies learn fast! They are much smarter than we think. By going in her room, you are reinforcing her behavior of crying to get what she wants. However if you remain strong and consistent she will learn. It is hard, I know, but she WILL learn as long as you are consistent and firm.
I occasionally have to re-do the CIO and she learns who is the boss. I never went back in the room no matter how pleading and sad she sounded crying. This won't affect her later in life contrary to what Dr. Sears followers say. But I can assure you that you WILL be struggling with the same sleep problems 5 months from now if u don't take action now. Good luck, I know it's SO hard, but down the road you will be so happy to have a good sleeper. My daughter is 3 now and she goes to bed without as much as a peep at nighttime.