I'm looking for some advice about Christmas. My MIL usually gives my husband and I a gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond for Christmas (and also our birthdays, which are both in March). While I know we should be grateful for her generosity (which I am), we never know what to buy there. We have gone to the store and searched aisle by aisle, but we don't really need anything there. I have no room for fancy coffee machines or kitchen gadgets. We still have the gift cards from last year. Money is super tight this year, so our plan is to use the cards from last year for Christmas presents for relatives. Many of you already know we have 6 kids between us. I watch my stepkids every day after school including their moms days until she gets off work. I also watch my husband's ex wife's step daughter every day after school. So, after school, i always have 6 or 7 mouths to feed a snack to. I'm looking in my pantry and we are just about out of all after school snacks, snacks for school lunches, and dry foods/canned goods, etc. Basically, an expensive trip to costco is in my future. I was thinking, would it be out of line to ask my MIL for a costco gift card instead? It would help so much to stock the pantry of food for the kids instead of buying some kitchen gadget we don't need. The other thing is our router went out months ago and we are borrowing an old router from our neighbors (that needs reset everyday to work properly). Sometimes that doesn't work either and we end up using our hotspot on our phones for internet at home. So a gift card to Walmart would also be awesome so we could buy a new router. Either one would be super helpful. So, would you approach your MIL about switching it up, or graciously accept another BB&B card?
I forgot to mention that the gift cards are for me and hubby, not a family gift. She buys the kids their own gifts. So I'm not trying to take away from them, not that any one assumed that. Just wanted to clarify.
I can tell you for sure my husband would not have this conversation with her. He would just take the BB&B cards. Not because he thinks she would be upset, but because he's just not one to discuss this with her. Even if I could talk him into it, he would procrastinate until the very last minute to have the conversation and the cards would surely already be purchased. I was thinking about calling her to ask her what she needed for Christmas and *hope* she would ask me back. Then I could tell her Costco or Walmart.
There's several sites you can go to to sell or exchange unwanted gift cards. I think I'd go that route.
I personally would not because I think it is rude to dictate a gift, but if you truly need the money then I would do it, but maybe mention it in passing like "oh dear I really need a new router, if only I found a walmart gift card just lying in the street" or some thing.
Why on earth wouldn't you sell the gift card/s on craigist or swapagift.com?
Win/win.
Your MIL sounds so sweet. Have you considered looking for a gift card trading group? Or selling the gift cards?
Absolutely let her know what you actually need! It's a conversation for your husband to have, but a perfectly reasonable one. My parents and ILs always ask us what we need and we're not shy about telling them. They usually get me a generous gift card to Talbots for my birthday because they know I like the clothes there and that I can't use it on my husband or kids like I would a Target card, but one year we really wanted a power washer so I asked for a GC to Home Depot and they were happy to oblige.
Assuming she's not weird about gifting or a control freak, I'm sure she'd welcome the suggestion.
They have websites to swap gift cards . You can get something else you'd like and not hurt her feelings !
If u have a good relationship, yes!! If not, force hubby to, ASAP! What an angel u are.
She may just be getting you a Bed, Bath and Beyond Certificate because you thank her so much and she thinks you really like that store. You might make a suggestion, "if you are thinking a gift card this year, we sure would appreciate one to ________ or ___________. We need to get some computer equipment. It may be too late this year, she may have already gotten a BBB certificate for Christmas, but perhaps she could do something different for your birthdays. Some people think they need a costco membershipcard to go in to buy a Costco gift certificate, but i think they will sell you one at the customer service desk. Good luck!
I have gone through this with my own mom. She insisted on giving my husband, my brother, his current wife, me, and my sister's ex-husband all $15 gift cares to J C Penney's. My sister is a Jehovah's Witness so she got a gift card that had no Christmas design on it and she got it in October or November. My mom had a credit card there and could buy everyone's Christmas present and pay it out all year and make only one trip to shop. It was her God send because it was very hard for her to get to Penney's and to shop.
If you've ever been there that's not really enough to "buy" anything. It's a nice part of something but not enough to make a difference.
Hubby and I would trade every other year and get something inexpensive.
My granddaughters dad pays his child support every month, never missed, and we get a portion of his income tax refund every year. He sends her a $100 gift card on her birthday and again at Christmas. It has always been a Walmart gift card.
The thing is she sees stuff at other stores she wants and we usually just trade off the cost. We'd buy her the stuff from the other store and put her dad's name on the gift then we'd use her gift card at Walmart. It felt weird at first for sure!
I suggest you find someone that is a friend that can trade cash for your card. If anyone you know shops there then it's a win win situation.
I told my daughter that it would be nice if my granddaughter's dad got her a MasterCard instead of a Walmart card it would be nice because sometimes she wanted something from a different store.
This years he's sent those instead of the Walmart card.
Do you have a good enough relationship with your MIL that you can be honest with her and she not be offended? Personally, I do and I know I could tell my MIL that I really didn't shop at BB&B and she would appreciate my honesty. But if you don't have that kind of relationship with your MIL I agree with the other suggestions of either selling or swapping with someone else.
As for the after school child care, if you are not getting paid to do this, it's okay to ask for snack donations or money to help pay for feeding the kids.
I think if you put it nicely, it would be fine to ask for the Costco card instead. She sounds like a nice person and she probably won't mind.
It depends. How well do you get along with MIL? How close are you?
If my DILs asked me to change from my usual gift-giving (default) procedure to something more useful, I'd be tickled pink. I might be giving the BB&B cards because I didn't know what else to do. Of course, they would ask me graciously, and that would help a lot, because I wouldn't feel as if I were being criticized for what I have done in the past.
If you do ask her and she consents, make it special. Let your kids know that Grandma has done a wonderful thing for them, sending money (or the next thing to it) for special snacks for a while. If they're big enough, have them send her a thank-you! If they're not, write one for them. Of course, you'll write one, too.
Putting myself in your shoes, a conversation that first validates your appreciation for her past gifts, & then addresses your changing needs would be best.
Something along the lines of:
"Mom/Sarah, with the holidays coming up, Doug & I were talking together about your traditional Christmas gift to us. We LOVE BB&B, and the gift cards we've gotten from you in the past years have been well-used, our house looks great for it! In fact, it looks so great, we were recently in the store & didn't see anything that caught our eye anymore as something we truly needed or wanted.
I was hoping you might be open to updating your tradition with a change of venue. Some places we'd be able to really having fun spending a gift would be XXX.
I would be humble about it, & understanding if she wanted to keep the gift card given to a place that was more "fun" vs. "practical". She may use BB&B because it gives you both money to spend you might not otherwise on things to pamper yourselves & your home, especially knowing that your money IS tight with the children, & is mostly often spent on practical household things. So a Walmart gift card may not be very exciting for her, or convey the sentiment she wants to express with the BB&B card.
Maybe coming up with some items that you & your husband have been putting off purchasing because they are more "want" than necessity & letting her know that a gift card to a particular store would allow you both to indulge in something specific, that she doesn't need to worry about purchasing the "right brand/style" of, would help as well.
I'm also assuming that you have a decent relationship with your MIL & feel comfortable talking with her about this, but just unsure of the approach. If you really feel she will react badly, then my advice is to take the gift card, & see if you can use some of the sites online to "sell" it & get the value to spend in a different store, with her none the wiser.
Hoping you & your family have a wonderful celebration, & enjoy your gifts, whatever they may be! T.
You cannot dictate her gift to you. Does your husband's ex-wife pay for her step daughter's care? That's where you should ask for money!
How thoughtful of your mother-in-law. :-)
I would simply ask her. Bring it up in conversation about the Christmas shopping you've already done. Heck, SHE might bring it up if you're already on the topic of what you're getting everyone and what she might like.
An Amazon.com gift card would be good if you're looking for a router. They have a huge selection.
can't you buy something small at BBB and then get the rest in cash? seems like a major store like that would allow it.. IF not, then I am not sure I'd say anything... although, is your husband not close enough to your MIL to have mentioned this before, maybe he can talk to her..
Tara & Susan are right. Or you can ask for a less site specific card (like Visa or Amex cards).
You can use them at Buy Buy Baby if you have little ones. It is on Chandler Blvd. and Price. They are the same company. You can also use the 20% coupons you get for Bed Bath and Beyond at the Buy Buy Baby store too.
I would look for a chance to say that you are looking at some things and a gift card for Amazon or Costco would be useful this year, IF she is going to get a gift card. My BIL likes particular restaurants so we go for those. I'd rather know than assume.
