L., I get you, I totally do. I am not in the exact same boat, but we have our own christmas challenges. My husbnad's family and my family all have different traditions and ideas of what our christmas should look like. Once we had kids, we had to make some choices. We now have "christmas" with my mom a few weeks early. That way grandma gets the kids all to herself. We then do another Christmas the weekend before at my husband's family. He has a divorced brother who only gets the kids on the 26th or later, so we made Christmas happen the week before, crazy ex-wife can't argue with that. We would then do our own family Christmas how ever we wanted. We now do our own family Christmas OUT OF THE COUNTRY! It is so much better!LOL!
Here's the thing to remember, Christmas is not about opening presents its about time together, it is a season. You can make Christmas anything you want. If it is about opening presents all together, then do it on the 26th or the 23rd, or any ohter day you can all be together. If santa's presents are an issue, then they will be there when the kids get back. Everyone gets to open their present when they get home. That way they are the center of attention when they get their santa gift.
L., thisis your life, you can stress over it or you can work with it. You have an wonderful set up. You and your husband get some almost alone time with each child, how lucky are they. The kids get their extended families and are blessed by that. You and your husband are not rushed. You can enjoy the season at your own pace. Let go of what you think it "should be" and accept what is. You have a blended family, unless you move 5000 miles away, you will share your kids during the holidays. You decide the atmosphere, you decide whether you will be tense or relaxed. You decide how your kids will view Christmas, either it will be a horrible experience for everyone, or you take the lead and show how simply it can flow.
I'd love to know what you decide.
B. H, B.A.:.B.Ed
Family Coach