D.K.
Sorry I don't know that area at all so I have no suggestions. If the family insists on going to the nice restaurant, go. It's hard when the kids are little, but they can learn how to behave in restaurants and then these family gatherings may be really nice for everyone. My kids are older now - 10, 14,17, & 19, but we did take them to nice restaurants when they were very small. I discovered by accident that kids understand a lot before we adults think they can, but they have short attention spans. So I would let them know a few days before that we were going to the restaurant and they had to be quiet, sit in their chair and we would be there for a long time ( it is like forever to them). Just before we arrived, I would remind them again. If they became too noisy one of us took the offending child outside. My husband and I would take turns taking the kid outside so one of us could eat. It takes a while for them to get this, but in the end they understand the expected behavior and people comment on how well they are behaved! I think we tend to forget that it's our job to teach them what is expected. They don't really know unless we tell them. Could you imagine your husband taking you somewhere with different rules and no one told you? I think it must be like that for kids. Hope you have a good Christmas Eve Dinner wherever it is!