Christmas Dilemma for Almost 3 Year Old

Updated on November 28, 2009
D.P. asks from Carol Stream, IL
18 answers

My oldest boy will be three year old in the beginning of March. For Christmas I would like to buy him something that would challenge him or really allow him to grow his imagination, etc (he's super smart)... but my problem is with little brother. Little brother will be 14 months and just can't stand it when there is something small or really anything his older brother has he wants to play with too. For example, the older one earned a toy for some awesome potty training and he picked out A little fire engine. Come to find out, the tires come off of it (and of course once my engineer figured this out all he wants to do is take them off and put them back on) so inevitably, little brother got ahold of one of the tires and nearly ate it (or could have choked on it). Now, the awesome fire engine has been put away for a long time, with a lot of tears... What do you do when the older one can have toys with little pieces and WANTS toys with little pieces (like a train set or something) but little brother can't have anything like that for safety reasons? Any suggestions? PS... the boys share a bedroom and our house is not big enough for a separate play room (unfortunately...)

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have any suggestions for presents. Sorry. But I do have 2 boys that are 30 mo. apart. When the older one wanted to play with toys with small pieces, he would have to play with it a the kitchen table so his brother couldn't get it. Or he could play with them on the floor if his brother was taking a nap. And it's worked out great.

Good luck!
C.

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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

When my daughters were 1 and 4 we had the same trouble. We used a baby gate to close off the older child in the bedroom so she could play with the smaller toys alone, or she understood she had to use them at naptime, or if her sister was having a bath, etc.

Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Does your 3 year old still nap? If not, can he have access to those smaller toys while your little one is napping?

T.
www.ReadandGrow.com

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V.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi D. P
I know it's hard but big brother should have his own alone time in the bedroom to play with his own toys and simply be alone and not have little brother bothering him. Just as little brother should have the same alone time. Children need alone time to do their own thing and have their own thoughts of playing. Just make sure when big brother is done you pick his toys up, he should be able to play with age appropriate toys of his own.
Good Luck

V.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi D.,

I don't know what to do about the toys with small pieces, but I DO highly recommend floor puzzles like those found at http://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Underwater-48-Piece-Pu....

We absolutely love the puzzles, the pieces are large, and yet it can be put away once you're done with it. My 3 year old totally digs these things.

Best of luck to you!

T.

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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi..I have a almost 4 y/o and triplet girls who are 11mos. I had a similar problem which started about 5 months ago...I put all the toys that are dangerous in bins and keep them in my sons room. He can bring one container/bin down but they must be played with during nap time or on the table if they are awake...it works for me. Best of luck!!!!

D.
Mom to 1 boy (almost 4) and 3 11 (almost 1 y/0) girls

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Use the dining room table! Our 4.5 year old plays with Lego sets that have very tiny pieces and of couse our 16 month old wants all of the tiny parts. She can barely reach the dinig table, so that is his designated spot for big-boy toys. Even now she climbs up onto the chairs but she's learning that those are his toys. She does get mad, but we just move her and get her something else cool that she can play with. I certainly wouldn't limit your older child's toy selection because of the younger one. You just have to be very diligent about when those toys come out (like when baby is napping or in bed for the night) and where they can be played with (not on the floor if baby brother is present).

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I had (and have) the same problem. There is not an easy solution. Our oldest does not take naps so we would take out the more complex toys or games at that time. On weekends my husband would play with one and I would play with the other at times so each is playing with an age appropriate toy.
Our problem was two fold. Our youngest was not playing with sorting blocks or simple puzzles but with legos and board games. My husband and I felt both were "suffering" by trying to play with the same toys all the time and not their age appropriate toys.
So my best advice is to try alone time with the kids if possible.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

magnatiles are AWESOME and wonderful http://www.magnatiles.com
When older kids want to build, it's hard for the younger ones to not knock it down or try to do it too. You can create an area of the room using shelving or gates so that your big kid has a safe place to play with his stuff. If you go to my website http://www.freewebs.com/tarastoyland you will see many examples that I use in the daycare.

There can also be some toys that are just for the older child's bedroom, or that come out when the younger one takes his morning nap.

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T.G.

answers from Rockford on

I have 4 kids between 8 and 1 so I understand. We do keep the smallest of pieces put away for play when the baby is sleeping. My dds will ask to play "little pieces" when her brother goes down for a nap. (Their little pieces are tiny barbie accessories.) If my 8yo wants to play legos, we just try to keep our toddler out and busy with something else. I try to avoid like the plague anything will small magnetic pieces. My son got a skateboard with tiny wheels that you can put on and off with microscopic screws that I will admit that I threw away.

At the sibling class the kids took at the hospital they gave all the kids a toilet paper roll and had them test several items to determine whether they were safe to give the baby. They got a kick out of being toy testers and determining for themselves helped them realize that some of their things would not be safe to have around the baby. Maybe allow him to be a baby toy tester too.

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J.J.

answers from Springfield on

Hi D.,
I understand your situation. I have five kids from ages 20-3. I get what I want for each child and teach the younger ones that there are some items they just are not allowed to mess with. Yes, it can be hard and you do have to keep an eye out, but I don't like taking away from the older ones just because of a younger child. That could cause other problems. (Jealousy) If there is an extra place one of them can play for a few, maybe try that. Keep the item up higher when not in use. I bet things would work out ok in the long run.
Good luck,
J.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

D.,

Wedgits, http://www.wedgits.com. They make them for 1 year olds and up. They can be really challenging too! You can get the advanced cards. They build really cool things too. Your little one wanting what your older one has, will never change. I have always asked the older child to pick their most favorite toys, that could not be out when the younger one was around and put them in a bin. When the younger was asleep or busy with another grow-up they could take their special bin out and play. Do you feel comfortable having your three year old have play time in his room for short periods of time? Maybe you can reward him with 15-30 minutes of free time in his room with his special toys while you play with the younger one in the living room.

Good luck!

K.

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

Although my little guy isn't get very mobile, we have begun enforcing limits on our older son's 3 & up toys. I put the toys with little parts up on a high shelf, and if my older son wants to use them, he has to ask me first and I will only give them to him when I can supervise. He's the kind of kid that likes to share everything with little bro, and he's always trying to give small toys to the baby.

I also like the idea of having the table designated as his big boy toy place. I think I will switch to that for when he wants to play with toys while I am cooking.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

We either only play with those kinds of toys when the baby is sleeping, or the older one can play with them in a different room than where the baby is (usually our bedroom).

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

D., I had this problem because my daughters are three years apart. Our problem.. Polly Pockets. Not only are they small but they are rubbery which makes them even better to eat. :) All of the Polly Pockets ended up in a tote. My oldest (and her friends) could only play with them at the table. Her little sister would become very mad and learned very quickly that if she wanted to play with the other girls she couldn't put Pollys in her mouth. My oldest would also take out certain toys (that were put away) when her sister was napping. The best thing you can do is start explaining to the little one that if he puts toys in his mouth he will not be able to play with his big brother's toys. It's tough at first, but your little one will catch on quickly when his big brother is playing up at the table without him. Good luck.

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

The Dupage Children's Museum in Naperville has some great toys.The Magnatiles are safe for all ages and everyone loves to play with them. Maybe you could let your older son play with certain toys only when his brother is sleeping. Or you could do one on one time with each child . Good luck:)

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

The toys with little pieces are bedroom toys. They are only to be played with in my son's bedroom where my daughter is not allowed. I think my son enjoys having his own space too.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

If you have space, keep the little toys in another room. We kept them in the basement playroom, where my toddler didn't go by himself. The baby will eventually get used to the idea that some things are for bigger kids, because that won't change (right now it's sleepovers and Nintendo DS that my littler guy can't have and his brother can.)

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