Chore Charts

Hi Nicole,
Great suggestions from everyone. I have a 5 and 3 year old and the charts with stickers works wonderful. They love getting a star on the chart for good work. Once a month, if their chart has more stickers than blanks, they get to pick out something from the $1 bin at Target. That's a nice bonus for all of us because we get to go to the store together (which they love) and it's inexpensive for me.
I do give them .25-.50 (depends on my change lying around) to empty all the upstairs trash cans each week. Plus they tend to pick up spare change around the house. this gives them money in their piggy bank which they can use for the occasional "must haves". And, i insist that they do spend their piggy bank money on these things. I do also contribute monthly to a savings account for them and that money is not touched.
Good luck!

I think they should pick up their toys in the general living spaces. If they don't the toys disappear. They can earn them back by doing special chores--appropriate to each age. They should put their their dirty clothes in the hamper. The oldest should put her clothes away. (and the younger will follow) They should begin setting and unsetting the table as a joint chore.

These are just family help shores--no payment, reward.

I believe if you give money as a weekly allowance, it should not be a reward--just an allowance that they can spend as they want. But these are a bit young--wait 2 years.

You could give them stickers. Or my brother and his wife made up pretend money and when they did a chore they got so much money. Then they could buy what they wanted like alone time with mommy or a movie rental, or a playday at the park.. you get the picture. There are so many things they can buy. just use your imagination! Good luck

One of the things that stood out to me in your post was the conflicting values around participating in family work. You feel your girls should help as members of the family, but also think that your daughters won't do it "for nothing". While I know a lot of parents hit this crossroads sooner or later, here's my suggestion: let your values be your guide, not theirs. If you decide to set up an allowance, I wouldn't make it contingent on chores, as there will be a lot of arguments and this is their home, not their place of employment.

What I have done in the past is to breeze past the words like "chores" and instead invite the children I've worked with to help with the activities they participate in. For example, with children afterschool, we all gathered for tea. Each child had a role in our teatime, be it setting the table, putting out the crackers, cutting up apples, or clearing up. I was with them while they performed these tasks so that the work was pleasant for all of us. And together we enjoyed the meal.

Children can also be asked to "come and help" with making the beds in the house, gathering laundry, folding and putting away laundry, etc. The key is to make this a special time with us instead of telling them to "go do" a job. No child likes this.

You can also gather your girls together to be a "bathroom cleanup crew" where each of them has one thing to clean. Rotate jobs and teach them how to do it.

If you feel that you must reward them, perhaps explain that you have a family clean up day that ends with some special time set aside for tea and games, or a movie and popcorn.

Another idea is to ask your daughters what they might be interested in doing. For example, if you can't be present during some of these tasks, give them a choice of two and let them know that you need their help with one of them. Having a choice really helps, and you might discover that your children have a hidden passion to peel potatoes and veggies or to sort the recycling. You never know!

Part of the success of having the kids do chores is changing their attitude from "for nothing" to small price to pay for the food, clothes, etc. that's "something" not nothing. I am sure they are still at ages where they will LOVE setting the table, putting the silverware into the drawer, wiping down the kitchen table, helping clear or set the table, etc. This teaches them responsibility and sometimes we as adults worry way to much about making the kids happy. Chores are just part of life in general. Sure my kids give me guff sometimes when they have to vacuum the family room or clean the bathroom but I gently remind them that they have a free place to live, their own room, clothes on their backs and that the 10 minutes they spend vacuuming doesn't even cover the time I spend selflessly cooking and cleaning up after them. I also tell them they made more than 10 minutes worth of work for ME...so c'mon guys! If your kids want stickers on a chart when the chores are completed that's great....but they don't need rewards like candy or toys for doing what is their responsibility in the first place. If you start the habit of rewarding all the time for things they should be doing anyway, you'll be in a world of rewards in no time. Reward me for going to school, doing my homework, brushing my teeth? I can see it now. My kids have tried some good ones, but I just laugh. I'll not reward you because you actually did something you were suppose to do. Now go the extra mile and I might reward you.
Allowance: I never believed in paying my children to be responsible...so I keep allowance as a no strings attached allotment of money each month to "help them learn to manage money." I didn't start allowance until first grade, because that's right about the age where they learn to add and subtract and can figure out the cost of things they want. Gum, candy, etc. I gave them $1 per year old they were in elementary school. Middle school I did $20 and High School I did $25 which means I pay for the basics, and their allowance is for ANY treats, or extras they want beyond basic needs. When they get a job I stop their allowance if they made over $25 in that month. On an off month, I go ahead and pay them the $25. It has worked for us. I am very careful about NOT buying them the extras because that would teach them that if they run out of money MOM will foot the bill. That won't teach money management. It also teaches them to prioritize their wants. One perk is that my children have never begged me for gum or candy at the store. My response has always been "did you bring your allowance?" that ends the discussion.

When I did this with my kids the rewards were things like, whoever does all their chores gets to pick the menu for dinner or pick the family movie to watch or family game to play. So there was an incentive, but it was still a family incentive.

You could also point out to your kids that if they help out, you have more time to do things with them.

Good luck

I believe children DO need to contribute to the household and at the age of your daughters, you want to get started now! Because when they get older, you will really need them to help in a bigger manner and if you have not instilled this early, they will totally balk and lag. (I am now dealing with this situation with 17 year olds!!)At their younger ages, your daughters probably will need some more immediate rewards - smaller perhaps? Then a bigger prize when they get the entire chore chart completed or enough filled in each month to earn a special trip for ice cream or pizza or movie... whatever works. Good Luck!

When my son was that age (he is now 20) I never had a "chore chart" but he had to clean up his toys before nap or bed at night, help clean off the table after meals, I would also have him do things like get me potatos to prepare for dinner, I also used that to teach him how to count.....like have him get me 4 potatos and after I cut them up we would count them as we put them in the pot...and because I am in a wheelchair he helped me with a few other things that most kids his age didn't do like help unload the washer and dryer, make his bed and put his clothes in the dresser after I folded them, which your kids could do wether your in a wheelchair or not...I gave him a pretty good size allowance for it. I gave him $5 a week...but he HAD to put half of it in his piggy bank. That left him $2.50 to spend on what he wanted once a week at the "allowance store" (the Dollar Store), every saturday was our day that we took him to spend it. It was a cool place for him to spend his money because it is cheap and he could get a few things. He had to stay with in his limit tax included. I also had a coupon book that I ordered from Oriental Trading Company .....it has a .com. I am not sure they still have them but you can always make your own. I also gave him a coupon with his allowance. There were coupons for .........sleep overs.....a movie.....pick what they wanted for dinner....or pick a desert to go with dinner.....special time with Mom....special time with Dad....and so on...No matter what he had to "save" half of his allowance each week. I think he saved it one time for a year and bought himself a tv with a vcr player in it AND he bought that at a pawn shop! Plus he had the guy throw in 3 movies! LOL it was so funny....He was 4 years old when he did that! It was so funny LOL anyway.......today he is 20 and I've noticed now when he goes to the store he looks for good deals and prices...he doesn't have the "I have to have it" attitude....he always saves for anything big he wants and if he cant justify a "need" for it other than a "want" he usually doesn't get it. He just yelled at me this weekend because I bought a china hutch, table and chairs and a buffet for my dinning room (bought off craigs list VERY cheap..under $500)......he told me I didn't need it my dinning room looked nice the way it was........empty! lol. My point being ...don't worry about them becoming "brats" with only doing it for money....like I said I didn't do a chart because then if I asked him to do anything "outside" the chart that would have given him a chance to ask for more money! Allowance was just a reward for doing what he was supposed to do and anything mom or dad asked. He would also get docked when needed. And saving half of his allwance taught him to put away for something special and that he didn't "need" to spend it just because he had it to spend. Plus we didn't have him save his money for anything specific in mind...If something came along that he wanted that is when we would say well lets see what you have and how much more you will need to save for it and go from there.
On another note...recently I have had my neice, her best friend, my step son and an adopted son live with us (all older 16 yrs +) and I did have a chore chart and soon found out that if it isn't specifically on the chart...like wipe the sauce off the wall that you just splattered.......that is just didn't get done.

Starting young is good.
Good luck and Happy New Year

At their age- your delight and pride ( and a certain amount of rivalry '' I can do this better than sister''') will likely be all the incentive you need. If you want- you might make a little ''treasure box'' ( let them help you decorate an empty box - SMALL - and put - sticks of gum or little toys from the dollar store - or individual wrapped candy or --- cool ''stuff''' in there --- when they get their chores done NICELY with no fussing- they can have an after dinner turn to take something out of the treasure box-- you would be AMAZED at how much children like that.

Have fun with it-
Blessings,
J.

Let me preface this by saying that my only child is ayear old, so take this with a grain of salt.

My aunt and uncle paid their children to do chores. They also paid them to help on the family farm. Their parents regret starting that because when they became teenagers they wouldn't do anything for the good of the family without a monetary reward. On the other hand, I was never given an allowance and wasn't allowed to earn money from outside sources. It was a lot harder for me to learn to handle money responsibly when I got out on my own. (in my defence, I've alwasy been an avid saver, so setting up a budget was the hard part, not sticking to it)....

Middle ground sounds good to me:-)

I am a mother of 3, currently 13,11, & 7. I have found that offering my kids prizes for doing chores never work!! They could care less to do the chores for prizes!!! I found what works best for me is I have a dry erase easel that I got for homework and I put their names on it and thier chores with boxes next to them. They have to complete these chores daily (which I have to re-write them daily) or they are punished. I have chores that they rotate monthly (unloading dishwasher, taking out recycle, & setting and clearing the table nightly). The 7 year is alot more work getting hers done for me, but they need to learn. When the house needs major cleaning I write everything that needs to be done and everyone picks as we go along and clean! I will put "Shanea" 1. do homework 2. work & feed cow 3. Clean room . My 13 year old also does her own laundry. I have my 11 year old son & 13 year old daughter cook one night a week to. They have to tell me what they need to make thier dinner when I shop on Sunday and they plan thier meal and cook it. They do very good at that too. My son doesn't vary far from hamburgers & hotdogs, but he his learning. We are having fish & chips tonight from him, he is currently cutting up potatoes to deep fry and cooking frozen fish.
Hope this helps!
S. Works

We do chores to earn TV/Wii time and play outside time. I have children ages 5,7, and 8, and here's the jobs they do:

set the table

empty the dishwasher (we moved the kids cups and plates to where they can reach and we do the stuff that is up high)

straighten a room a day (pick up toys, dust with a swiffer)

pick up toy room/ bed room

empty their hampers

clean up the shoes in the front hallway

feed the dog

sweep

vacuum

put away books on the bookshelf

help collect garbage the night before garbage day

We do one job every day for the week (set the table, feed the dog, or straighten the shoes) Then they have a room to help out with and at least one other job. Nothing takes more than 5-6 minutes, unless there's a lot of whining.

We used clip art and made a rotating schedule for our kids that we hang on the pantry door with each day of the week on it. They know exactly what their jobs are each day.

Go with them the first few days to teach them how to do the jobs the way you want them done, and avoid the jobs you feel overly quirky about. (I cannot even let my husband fold the laundry:))

We also do extra things like give them a special plate at dinner if they do their jobs without being asked, or do a really good job at it.

You could also have them help sort laundry, fold laundry (if you aren't me), load the dishwasher, help make dinner, anything that you want to have them do. My 7 year old daughter is a wiz at peeling vegetables, sorting laundry, and unloading the dishwasher. My boys are better at straightening rooms and vacuuming. So see what is easy for them then add similar things. If the jobs are too hard or the expectations are too high they will hate chores.

Good luck!

I like Handipoints.com! My kids love to play the games and earn ponts for doing their chores. You set up the list of chores for them to do arounnd the house,and they earn points for doing them in the game. tis alot of fun

For the past 4 months we have been doing a program called Accountable Kids. It's really done wonders for my 3 and 5 yr olds. It's been really easy to start and maintain. It is designed to make them accountable members of the family without making them slaves.

HTH
E.

Start small and add more things later--rather than having a big daunting list of new stuff to do. If they respond to charts, then great, use that. A prize doesn't have to be a big present, just something they don't usually get to do/choose. I might offer my son things like going out for ice cream, picking a video at Blockbuster, quarters to buy a thing from the vending machines, time on the computer to play online games at a time when he doesn't usually get to, staying up later on the weekend. But I also stress that the family has responsibilities to keep the household running and name some of the things I do and Dad does. And I give him some choices about which chore he's going to do. Good luck!

First of all I applaud you for starting at this age, I waited way to long to start my boys doing chores and even now I am not always consistent. I have always said their main job is to focus on school work, and being a stay at home mom I just do it myself. I have huge regrets on that. We were on the fence regarding allowance for a long time, I agree kids should have certain responsibilities being a member of the family, but I do like the idea of allowance because its teaching them how to manage their money and to appreciate the value of money. I love when my son saves for months to buy something he really wants.

At that age, maybe making up a cute poster sized chore list with stars, smiley face stickers ect... Let them help you decorate it and when they finish something on their list, let them put the stickers on. If all their boxes that have their chores have a sticker in it then they get a small reward. Just remember to keep it very simple (both chores & rewards ) You don't want to complicate it with different rewards for different jobs or have them expect to receive something every time you ask them to do something. They will have to learn that some things are just expected of them and some things come with a bonus :-)

My daughter does two sets of chores. The first set she has to do. (Homework, cleaning her room, dishes, and putting away her laundry). Then, I let her take on additional chores if she wants to earn allowance. She usually will do a few extra chores to earn money for things she wants to buy. (By the way, my daughter is 10.)
I believe it is important to learn that you do things to help out in your family, with no expectation of getting anything in return. However, I also wanted to give her a chance to save money and work towards buying something. I think both are great lessons.
This has worked great for our family.

Hi Nicole,
I would hold off on the rewards until later- This is how I would approach it:

Tell the kids you are going to have a family meeting. Make sure everyone in the family is there- Explain that it is time for everyone get their special jobs- Everyone in our family has a special job they do to help our family out. We call thes jobs chores- 4 year old, you get to help our family by putting the silverware away from the dishwasher when it is clean. This is a really important job and it might be a little tricky, you will get to help sort the forks and spoons, and make sure like things go together in the drawer...

You also get to help the family with the laundry- When there is clean laundry, you get to lay all the socks out and try to find their mates. I can help you if you need help.

6 year old, you get to.... (You get the idea)

Make it sound fun and exciting and like it is a privledge that they get this special job.

They will probably be into it at first- making a game out of it.

This is how I got mine started- I am saving the rewards system for later when it becomes more of a fight and they need some more motivation.

Good luck!

S.

Hi Nicole,

I'm a fan of kids doing chores for 'nothing' - it's not like you grow up and do the laundry for a fee in your family, is it? To me, cleaning is a way to show our love and respect for self and family. Life isn't perfect around here - we fall off the cleaning wagon and I've tried many systems - but I can share the best combination I've found is to have chores they do whether they like 'em or not and a list of jobs they CAN do, if they CHOOSE, along with amounts they can earn for each job, clearly posted. They can work harder and earn more or be lazy and broke.

When we're at the store, I don't buy stuff and more stuff - even their gum is something they can be proud to have earned, themselves. If you've never tried this method, I urge you to - the pride and self-esteem is palpable at the checkout counter and the respect for personal property around the house goes up, as well.

The other thing I've started doing and find works well is to keep smaller charts around the house - a tiny one in the bedroom with one daily AM chore on it - a tiny one in another room with one afternoon chore on it - another with an evening chore. It breaks things down into 'bite sized chunks' and makes it easy to check things off in the location things are happening.

As rewards, I offer them my time. I know that may sound unthinkable to some who buy into the stuff and instant gratification generation, but kids really do want our time more than anything else - so we play a game or go someplace for a drink and conversation, take a hike or go to a park, etc. Earning 'special time' is a win-win for us - it's so great to leave clean spaces at home and have that time to enjoy together (instead of doing ALL the work cleaning up after kids who, instead, benefit by participaing in the cleanup, themselves).

Hope it helps - if not, good luck finding whatever means / methods work best for you and your family!

Warmest Regards,
T. B/

When I was teaching my girls to do chores, their reward was to pick a "treat" from the "surprise box". After completing their chore, they would (without looking) pull a slip of paper from an empty yogurt container that would tell them their reward. They did not get an allowance but could earn money by doing extra jobs like pulling weeds or washing the car.

Here are some of the surprises they would find in the box:
go out for ice cream with mom, free computer or tv time, get a back rub, choose a breakfast cereal (their only chance to eat cocoa puffs or lucky charms), 1 can of soda (otherwise rationed), date with dad, choose the bedtime story, rent a video, 25 cents, 1$, choose a game to play this afternoon, "Queen for a Day" (no chores the next day, everyone waits on you).

We did surprise box once a week on chore day when we cleaned the whole house. My kids have always had daily chores like loading the dishwasher or sorting laundry that is part living together. I also found it helped for me to do the chores with them at first and slowly wean them off my help until they could do a good job on their own. Oh, and before choosing from the surprise box, we had an inspection so they only got the reward if they did a good job. It was simple but something they really looked forward to each week.

You are the example for your children they are going to learn what you do by modeling it for them with them. Most of all having them be a part of it. There is always something they can do.. Setting the table, helping with dishes, clearing the table... picking up their clothes, (helping with folding) towels wash cloths are good ones to start with.. picking up toy's & teaching them where they go. helping them so they understand what you expect and showing them where you want it to go. Make it fun, put on music when your dusting, and washing sing songs make them up do it together,use the good old fashion nursery rhymes when cleaning and picking up. Model for the 6 yr old the way you want it done. LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Age appropriate, simplify and de- clutter.( ORGANIZE), Children like - & need direction. clear expectations get down at their level, don't assume they will know how to do it or that they are hearing you if they are not looking at you and you don't have there attention and your yelling. If your expectations are not high and you don't care then how are they going to care if you aren't going to care.( LAZY) will show up.... How are they suppose to care. Your training them up to be just like you. We were always taught you had to work for everything, nothing comes free. Mommy and Daddy have to work so we can provide for your needs. There is a big difference between ( needs and wants)-- work, and then everyday FAMILY house hold chores...it called Family for a reason, not MOM just doing it all.... HELO.. we're not pd for doing chores that needed to be done. If you wanted something it had to be earned, doing extra things above and beyond... that is called work, only when your chores are done.. you can't work unless your chores are done. IT's called being responsible. It's a earned allowance. REMEMBER everything they get to do is a or should be a earned reward.( TV, movies, play time, free time) a favorite treats can be a reward, doing something special, getting ice cream, going to the park,,, Not everything should be looked at as $. for children, it's the parents that have to be able to afford it. Depends where your priorities lie in material things & stuff or spending more time with your children training them to be productive, responsible, well manned and how to treat and take care of the things they do have and been given. So they appreciate what they do have in life and are THANKFUL for it. it if you wanted things in life and you earn them you take care of them... which builds great character, morals, and (A (GREAT WORK ETHIC) which so many of your young kids don't have these days anymore. Children from 2 yrs old until they are teen agers and young adults, some expect everything for nothing, don't have an appreciation for it.. and don't know how to take care of the little things first and then want the big things in life. DON'T enable your Children by doing it for them, the word NO is good. Every child i know wants it now ... immediate gratification. Children don't know how to wait or save up for something and learn the steps in how to get there if we as parents don't take the time to TEACH THEM. What hard work is if you wanted something,what responsibilities are by earning it taking care of it and that everything has a price nothing is free.

http://www.handipoints.com/ This is a great site that is made for kids just the ages of yours. Not only does it help figure out what chores they can do, but helps with goals and rewards. Good luck and God bless