I was going to have a Chinese gift exchange for my Girl Scout troop at their holiday party in a couple weeks. For those that don't know, that's where everyone brings a wrapped gift and all get numbers. Number 1 then picks a present and unwraps it. Number 2 can either take the opened present from number 1 or pick a new present to unwrap. Number 3 can then either pick gift from 1 or 2, or open new one. Etc.
I played in the past where once a gift is traded 3 times it is "retired" and can't be traded again. But as I was confirming the rules online I found a website that has the opinion you should NOT restrict the number of times a gift can be traded. She says that accentuates the "coveting" that can sometimes occur. Her only rule is that you can't immediately select back something that was just taken from you. (She also says coveting can occur when there is one gift that is very much more valuable than the others, but we will stick with a strict dollar limit).
Anyone have an opinion on the unlimited vs limited trading rule? The girls are all about 13 so we shouldn't have the problem of hard feelings that can arise when this is played with younger kids.
Thanks!
Added: Yes, I realize the name Chinese gift exchange is weird and culturally insensitive. Chances are we aren't going to call it anything but a "gift swap". I'm really just wondeing about the limit to trading.
Mynewnickname - I think you've hit the nail on the head with the reason to restrict number of swaps, which is what I think I'll do.
And I just want to reiterate that *I* didn't come up with the Chinese name. Google it and you'll see that others use it too. I'd also heard it referred to a white elephant exchange, but I always thought that was with silly gifts, and most likely these girls will end up with Starbucks gift cards, lip balm sets, etc, instead of true "white elephant" gifts. I like Dirty Santa, but since my group is Jewish in addition to Christian I'll think of a good non-denominational name. Thanks everyone!
Angela G TX - we moved from the DFW area to NJ about six years ago, and that is exactly the same thought I had!
They did this on an episode of the office. They nicknamed it "nasty Christmas."
I've never heard it referred to as "Chinese," which strikes me as really insensitive. I also hate the message of it - how sad for the kid who gives the gift no one wants to take. To me, it's just mean.
Btw - I've lived in the north my whole life and "Yankee" means nothing to me. I'd rather it be called that than Chinese!
Just chiming in to say that down here in Texas I've heard it called a Chinese Gift Exchange and a White Elephant Gift Exchange. As a Texan, I would think that calling it a Yankee Gift Exchange implying that you might get stuck with a tacky gift would be insulting to Yankees, but that's only if we continue over-thinking everything. It's a fun activity whatever you decide to call it. I hope the girls have a great time! :)
Um...seems a but culturally insensitive/ignorant to call this Chinese Gifting as I'm sure it has nothing to actually do with China.
Sounds like a Yankee Swap...why not call it that, which avoids being offensive? At 13, they're old enough for the regular rules of a Yankee Swap.
I thought that was called a Yankee Swap? Funny how things have different names depending on where you live!
No advice, just be aware that 13 year old girls may not be as mature as you think ;-)
We do it at work every year and it's a blast!! The dollar limit is $25 and the gift can be stolen twice...so it's opened, stolen, stolen, retired. It works out well. And yes, sometimes people plan but it's all part of the fun.
I would definitely have a limit, especially based on the age :).
I've always done it with 3 'steals' and then it's retired. I think otherwise, the game would just go on and on forever.
You definitely need to restrict the number of times the gift is "stolen" or the game will go on FOREVER. We typically do two steals, so the third owner of the gift is the one that keeps it (ex: Child A unwraps it; B steals from A; C steals from B - present is now out of play and C keeps it forever). Gifts can not be stolen and then stolen right back (ex: Child B steals from A; A cannot steal it back in the same round).
We typically call it a White Elephant exchange, even if it isn't a silly gift.
I've played this game (at an office party) although I've never heard of it by that particular name before.
It's called White Elephant Gift Exchange or Yankee Swap.
It's really recommended for adults (at the office) and not so much for kids.
Teens? Well I wouldn't but some teens are more mature than others.
2 swaps allowed before a gift was retired was the way we played it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange
http://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/gifts/exc...
It can be amusing but it's too complicated for me to really enjoy it.
My personal favorite office Christmas fun-thing-to-do was The Great Cookie Exchange.
Everyone makes their own favorite type of holiday cookie - brings a full box of their own creation and an empty box.
Everyone puts their full cookie boxes on the conference table and then everyone walks around taking a few of every kind to fill their own empty boxes.
When completed, the original boxes are empty and the empty boxes have an amazing selection of yummy treats that people take home to enjoy.
I've been involved in a couple of these and there's never been a limit on the number of times a gift can be exchanged. On 1 there was a time limit of 60 seconds to exchange the gift but other than that really the more times a gift gets taken the funnier it is.
We've always called it the white elephant gift exchange. And we do put a 3 exchange limit on the presents, that has always worked out in our family.
We always just called it the Stealing Gift Exchange. lol Make sure you say a dollar LIMIT on it so you don't get some dollar items and some $20 items. Have fun!
We called it Yankee Swap, and I've never played it with a limit on the number of swaps. The thing to do ahead of time is decide if it's a "white elephant" game where people have to bring something from their closet, or if it's for new things and there's a specified dollar amount ($10-$15 or $15-$20 is common). That way there is never a "cheap" gift in the mix.
The problem with teens is that they don't just "covet" but they also are so sensitive about rejection and not being "cool" - so a gift that gets chosen frequently kind of rewards the person with such great taste, and the one that no one wants to keep usually only gets traded away once (it might not get "chosen" again but it can be re-traded). It depends on how good the group is about being supportive. I've been to swaps where the outrageous laughter over a funny gift is part of the entertainment - one year someone gave a tube of "Crack Cream" and there was plenty of adult laughter about that. I forget what the rest of the package was to make it $20 but no one else remembers either. Besides, a lot of times people want a gift that is perfect for their sister or mother, vs. for themselves.
Limiting the trades means that the people with higher numbers don't have as many choices, but then again, the person with #2 or #3 didn't have much chance at all. The person with #1 has the most chances because she gets to swap at the end (as the opener of the first gift, she just sat with it and had no options about trading at all. So the point of it all has to be about the fun of choosing and the mystery of opening things and the laughter, rather than the "what can I get for myself" philosophy - all of which fits in with your scouting philosophy.
You could also ask people to purchase from thrift shops that support a charity or from a small business - that puts a "community service" spin on it. People might wind up making a $15 "package" out of 3 or 4 purchases of $4 each, which means every "set" will have something of value and interest to every girl.
Another feature you can add, instead of the numbers, is "The Wright Family" - google it. It's a story about a fictitious family, and it's loaded with the words Wright or right, and left. Everyone sits in a circle with a wrapped gift on their lap, and someone reads the story (could be the scout leader or anyone with a voice that projects). Every time the word right (Wright) or left is mentioned, the group passes their gift to the right or the left. So the gifts wind up rotating a lot and no one ends up with their own gift. (If they do, at the end, the leader just says to pass the gift to the right.) Then they open what they have. That might meet your needs of everyone being grateful and no one coveting.
I would limit the number of time it can be "stolen." We do 3. And the whole POINT of the game is coveting the item and trying to get it on the last "steal." :-)
We don't call it "Chinese gift exchange." We call it a "White Elephant" or "Yankee Swap" For some reason calling it Chinese seems odd, since it's a North American tradition.
Restrict number of times gift can be stolen.
I think you should only be able to steal it once but normally it is always
twice.
Set a price limit. Generally it's $15.
It's fun.
we do this every year on both sides of the family. SO much easier and more fun that buying for everybody! we just call it 'sneaky santa' though.
we restrict the stealing to 3 times. coveting is one of the fun things about the dang game, not a reason to over-think it into the ground.
khairete
S.
It's called Dirty Santa. Never heard of the Chinese connection to it. We've played it numerous years. We've played it both ways with the 3 time limit. It's good to do that or that last person will go get that desired gift and you have to start all over with everyone exchanging again, seriously, it can go on and on and on. The exchange limit is needed.
The one thing that always gets me is that someone will bring something from home they don't want. Not a real gift. That's what White Elephant is. It's giving away stuff you don't want and they're not new.
I think you should have some suggestions on the invitation/announcement.
Such as:
Suggested items:
Board games for your age group
Books, fiction, biography, inspirational...
Family games such as Yahtzee, Uno, Dominoes, Pictionary, and games larger groups can play.
Hair items such as hair bands, clips, and other items to make hair pretty.
By giving them some ideas they won't be standing at the door of the store drawing a blank on what they want to get. It sure makes things easier if they have that light bulb moment and know just what they'd like to get.
