Children Sleeping Upstairs While Parents Sleep Down

How about if the Baby and the 2-year old share the down-stair bedroom. They are close in age anyway. Then you could give one of the older kids their own bedroom and have some extra toys or clothes stored in that room. Good luck. A.

I hate to say this because it's so rare to find a house one really likes -- but if you're paranoid, I am, too. I wouldn't do a set up like that until my children were older...

I would have all the same concerns. Here's a possible solution:

YOU take an upstairs bedroom, and have your 2 youngest up there with you, in case, God forbid, something would happen. Then they'd have you up there to get them to safety. Then, your older children wouldn't even have to bother with the fire ladder either, since you said it's too heavy even for your older children. They'd be on the first floor, and have an easier route to safety, I'd presume. I'd work with the different bed times of the two youngest kids, and err on the side of safety. Maybe when your 2 year old is a little older, you'd feel ok letting her back in the room with the older sister, being that she'd be on the first floor, and not needing to navigate any windows/ladders/etc. in an emergency.

Or find a different home.

Best wishes!

.

Dear H.:

I am the mother of five children also and do not know all the difficulties of tube feeding nor how long it will last, but it seems to me that if there is a way the one and two year olds can share a room downstairs with you and the 4, 7 and 9 year olds can be upstairs, you should have no safety worries.

It is difficult to find a house on one level for a large family. We did not go into a two story house until our youngest was in kindergarten, but if you are unable to find a house you can afford and like as well as this one, then I am sure you can make it work.

Best of luck. It must be very difficult with a one year old plus a two year old who needs special help and it is wonderful that the older children know how to help and can be trusted to do so. It is easier as they get older and can all work cooperatively and then adjustments can be made to the sleeping arrangements and then perhaps another bedroom or two can be managed so they can have their own space.

N.

Hello,
well I certainly can't respond to the complexity of having a child on a feeding tube, but we were in the same boat when we bought our house last year about liking the house but the bedrooms were upstiars. I just wanted to share that my two children, almost 2 and 4 1/2, sleep upstairs while my husband and I sleep downstairs. at first we were concerned about not being able to hear my youngest in the middle of the night so we used a baby monitor. perhaps if you can find one with a video screen and that way you'd feel better about your kids sleeping upstairs. we are very happy with our house!

You have an additional concern (the feeding tube) that most other parents don't have to consider when looking at a house that has MBR down and rest of them upstairs. It is nice though that there is a 2nd bedroom downstairs though, could she stay in that one? (she may not like being separated from the rest of the kids for that reason when she is older and the rest are upstairs having fun and she is next to your room??)

I did not like bedroom s far apart because my son is still young, but we do like our house now where all (but one that we are using as office) are upstairs. The MBR has a loft in between the other bedrooms and ours, so it's enough space, but not too much I think.

I like the intercom system idea (but wouldnt work for us since we're deaf)

When we were house hunting a few years ago, if the house didn't have the bedrooms altogether, we would cross it off the list. There were a few nice houses with the master bedroom down stairs and the rest up stairs, and there were a few nice houses with the master bedroom on one side of the house while all the rest were at the opposite end of the house. I didn't like them. My son was 7 at the time and I didn't want him all alone on another floor or on the other side of the house. We've had power outages and storms, and I've always been happy with our child in a room across the hall from us.
Additional Comments:
Other reasons I like all the bedrooms together - I want to hear everything. I hate reading those news stories where a child is abducted from their own room and the parents had no idea till morning. Also, are the toddlers likely to open out side doors and go wandering? Getting out for safety is one thing. Getting out too easily is something else.

I definitely don't think you're paranoid. You have some very real concerns here. There are a couple of things you could try. First, maybe you could think about putting the baby and the two year old in one of the rooms downstairs with you and your husband and give the oldest girl her own room upstairs. Or, you could do practice drills with all of your older children in unhooking the 2 year old in an emergency. the more you practice something, the more routine it becomes and it will come naturally in an emergency. That way, both the older children and the two year old are comfortable with getting her off the "tether." As for the fire ladder, perhaps you could put a decorative trellis up along the outside wall that the kids could climb down in case of a fire. Just a few thoughts. And congratulations on buying a new home. Nothing quite as exciting!

A LONG long time ago, I grew up in a house where all us kids were up and Mom and Dad were down. Even though this was 40 years ago, my Dad installed a built in intercom system. Two way. This was back in the day when kids didn't dissrespect their parents. All we had to hear was Dad clear his throat through the intercom and we shut up and went to sleep. We had a fire escape plan, but things weren't as sophisticated then as now. There was no ladder, we just went out on the roof and waited. We did drills every night for weeks (if I remember coreecty) so that it would ba a natural reaction and we wouldn't have to "think" or "decide" what to do in the heat of the moment. We also had spontaneous drills all our lives. We never had a real emergency, but I think we were ready. Later Mom got a house where me and my sis were teenagers up and she was down and we loved it. ;-)

I don't have children with a feeding tube but we do deal with asthma. When looking for a home we crossed any houses off that had our 3 kids far from us. Now that the are older (youngest is 6) I still feel more comfortable with them nearby. You seem to have a lot of reservations about the house, go with your feelings and keep looking. Good luck on your search.

I had the same concerns when we found a split-level house we liked that had the master on a landing and the rest of the rooms upstairs. At the time our oldest was 2 and we were expecting our youngest. I did NOT like the idea of being so far away from them. My husband said we had to look at it from the long term perspective. They wouldn't be babies forever and in three of four years it would be kind of nice to and have a little privacy. While I agreed with him, we did end up finding a different house with all the rooms on the same level. I would say to go with your gut. Is your 2-year-old's situation permanent? If so, then I don't think I would ever feel safe with her on a different floor than me. If it's temporary, then maybe it would be worth having a weird bedroom set up for a couple of years, then rearrange everything. Best of luck!

H., Please let me assure you that you are not being paranoid but a realistic and wise mother~ that is dealing with a reality issue.
We have 5 children also although mine are now older and some married I have one witha disability and my husband was an amputee in a wheelchair dealing with cancer. So I really do understand what it is to be concerned that the home you look at fits not only the needs of today but of the months to come.
When we had a split leval home we installed intercomes so that we could hear what was going on in the rooms of the young ones and also that if
dad had a problem they could hear him and get help. It is also possible to have the children all in one room for a while until you decide how to split things up. We did this once and they liked it so much that we left it for about 3 months! It gave us an extra play area as well. If your youngest is healthy then that child might be safe enough to be upstairs. I know that our grandchild is upstairs with the parents downstairs again they have baby monitors to hear what is going on..
You are a wonderful mother that is brave/courageous enough to do what you need to with a child that has specail needs, and other children tht need all that you have to teach them and your love to give. I am 100% on your side and pray tat you will have the strength to do what ever you need to.
With so many homes on the market right now you may decide to keep looking but I have to say in all our years we only found 2 that were one leval that was big enough for all of us. Good Luck

You have to do what is right for you. What does your gut instinct say?

The first house we built had all bedrooms upstairs. This worked for us at the time because it was before baby was born and was helpful when our daughter was little.

When she was 5 we built our current home. We elected to go with master down on this one. In the beginning, she would come to our room some because we were downstairs on one end and she was upstairs on one end of the house. LOT of space between us.

Now at 15, we most especially would have it no other way. She has the entire upstairs (about 2500 sq ft) with a large game room, library, 3 bedrooms (incl hers) and 2 baths. We joke and say if she had a kitchen she'd stay up there. It has been great because her friends love to spend time here. I love that aspect because I know what they are doing!!

She can have friends over and they enjoy pool, movies, etc and it does not bother us downstairs with noise, etc. We love our set up.

We do not have a safety ladder. Her window has an access which should be relatively easy for her to get out. Her window is also in the front area of the house.

Best wishes with your new home.

no i would not have my childern upstairs the reason for if there was a fire are if one of them was to get sick during the night....no i would keep looking if it was me:) and plus if ur two yearold has medical stuff you sure dont want her up there without u bein real close by:)good luck

Hi H. -

This sounds like a tough decision. As many others have suggested, go with your gut. But also, think about how long you plan to be in this house. Is this just for a couple years? Or is this where you want to set down roots and be for the next 15-20 years? As some others have suggested, perhaps the 2 little ones can stay in your room for a little while, temporarily. Or maybe even just the 2 year old with you and the baby upstairs?

Monitors, intercoms, web cams - all might help alleviate some concerns.

If this house is perfect in every other way, and you plan to be there for a very long time, that might weight more heavily towards buying it. However, if you think you won't be able to sleep at night due to worrying, then maybe keep looking.

Good luck!

H.

Ok, you are very brave having 5 children-kudos to you, I think that is awesome! My first thought would be to put the baby and 2 year old downstairs in the same room for a year or two. I understand about the inconvenience of having different bedtimes, but if your baby girl sleeps soundly and your 2 year old can adjust to a little different routine it should work fine. You'd also have to make sure your 7 year old knew that this was a temporary situation.

To put your mind at ease, I'd get a hard-wired alarm system. They cost more, but it means that if fire or carbon dioxide is detected, an alarm will also sound in your room and you know right away.
We feel safe with our son upstairs, but we don't have the feeding tube issue. And, to be honest, I would rather we were all on the same floor and we are looking for new houses that would put us all on one floor.
I'd say, sure, you might get used to it and not feel so leery after a while, but if it worries you now, maybe you should just keep looking?

i think that you should put the baby and the 2 year old down stairs with you and put the other children upstairs and everyday work out with the fire ladder until you feel that they are strong enough to handle the ladder on their own. i don't think you are paranoid but you have a valid concern! and the children may adapt to the situation on therir own (which children usually do anyway.)" and sometimes children will surprise and take intiative and still come downstairs and help with the tube feeding. i wish you luck.

I think you're instincts are right - the bedrooms should all be together.

The market is full of houses - keep looking! Make a list and take photos of what you like about the house to show your realtor to help him/her find something perfect.
For what houses cost in CA, you shouldn't settle on something that won't let you feel your family is safe.
I sketched a floorplan of my dreamhouse and made a checklist of must-haves and dealbreakers - we walked in the door 2 weeks later and I poked my hubby in the arm and said Look! It's our house!! It has EVERYTHING that was on our list and it's across the street from a playground! We'd been looking for over a year!