Children Not Behaving in the Store

This is what we do when I have to go to the store, I will not go unless I am going with someone, or my husband is home from work. My husband and I do the grocery shopping together and we take the kids with us, it makes it easier because he can keep one and I keep the other one. If I need to run up because we are out of something my husband will stay home and I will take one child with me, ( I would go by myself but my kids throw a fit and whatever one he can get occupied is the one that stays, I've been at home for almost 3 years with them so they have issues with me leaving). Anyways this works for us, I'm telling you I try not to go shopping with it just being me and my kids, it will drive you insane.

I agree with the other mothers about making a plan and sticking to it. At this age browsing through any store is out. It is better if you anounce to the kids where you are going and what you are going to pick up once you get there. Then before getting out of the car talk to them about how you expect them to behave. With our 2 and a half year old daughter I always make sure that she promises to stay in the grocery cart before I get her out of the car. I let her pick the cart and then reconfirm that she it to stay in it. She gets one warning if I see her start to put a foot out. If she continues to try and get out we leave the store.

At the mall I let her chose whether she wants a stroller or not. If she does not want to sit in the stroller she has to agree to hold mommies hand. At one mall I go to there are kiddy push carts shapped like cars you can rent for $5.00. I also build in time to go to the childrens play area while we are there. She knows I'll let her ride the merry go round if she behaves.

I have discovered that giving two year olds very limited choices makes them feel more in control and keeps them happier. It is best to offer two choices such as "Do you want to help mommy shop or sit in the stroller?" You could also make shopping with mommy a treat. If only one twin is trustworthy at the mall take her and arrange for the other to stay at home or with a sitter. I bet the twin that is left behind will start making an effort to behave in public so she can also have fun shopping with mommy. Twins tend to be competative so make it work for you not against you. I'm not suggesting playing favorites, but good behavior should be rewarded.

Good luck,

J.

I have a two and three old. When i first got them going to a store was a nightmare. Both of them would scream at the top of there lungs trying to get there way. I would just leave and explain to them why we left and that because of that they didn't get and list the items. After doing that a couple of times they started listening because they didn't want to leave their favorite ceral at the store. My first time at the mall was also a nightmare both running diffrent directions i didn't the same thing, but i also tried the child leashes. Once they learn that they will have to leave things behind or be on that leash they started listening. But you have to be consistant and when you say your going to leave, leave don't just say it. I learned that the hard way. They knew i would warn them a couple of times before i did anything so knew how long they could get away from it. It wasn't until someone told me that i realized what was going on. Now i tell them before i get to the store how they are to act and if they don't what will happen. I stick to it and haven't had any problems since, they still have there days but don't all kids.

If you don't have a double stroller, you might think about getting one. They make the umbrella style in a side-by-side stroller, and they aren't very expensive or bulky. You can check resale stores too, and you might get lucky. I got my double stroller at one, and it was just $20.

J.

Hey there! I am a mom of twin boys 2 1/2 and their older son that is 4. They are exactly 18mths apart. I have learned that there is always one of them that will get into something. Sure, it's annoying, stressful & exhausting. So if you need to shop for yourself, do not take them. You would be amazed how much you can get done if you don't have them. If you just want to get out take them to the mall, union station, anywhere...just give yourself a time limit. It's good for them to learn how to behave in public etc. I take mine to Pump It Up and I'm exhausted! If mine really start throwing a fit-we leave. Just like that. Kicking & screaming whatever. I take my guys grocery shopping, to the library,to the gym,to rent movies. More than not they behave and are excited to help. My 2 yr olds were helping me put groceries away last night! And when I get stressed or flustered, I take a deep breath (sometimes several) and I thank God everyday.

2 1/2 twins!! Girl, you're not crappy for not wanting to take them..you are trying to keep your sanity!! I have a 1 and 4 year old and get exhausted when I take them anywhere!

Here's the deal..if you really want to shop or get stuff done leave them at home! Get a babysitter or make your husband watch them. You get frustrated, they get upset and it really does no one any good!

If you're feelin' frisky and feel they need to get out, take them and work on how to act when in public. But bottom line is they are 2 1/2 yr old twins and you are going to have your hands full so take a grandparent or husband to help out. They will get there and you'll be able to shop with them one day!! Until then...jsut hold onto the dream..hahahahaha!

Good Luck!!

Why not try giving them jobs to do in the store to keep their attention on task? Cut out pictures of things you need and glue them onto 3X5 cards. Give one or some to each child. During your shopping you can remind them to look for the item(s) on their lists. Start with something they can find quickly and early in your visit and then go with something you know you will get last. Give lots of verbal praise and encouragement, like 'keep looking' and 'great job finding the...'. You can even reward them with something they desire at the end of the shopping trip. I'd start with short trips and then progress to longer ones as they understand the game.

R.

My 22 month old doesnt either and I never had the problem with her older sister who is 4. So, It is what they say about the terrible two's... and every child is different. I just keep my 2 year old in the cart right now, it's just easier. I think when she's 3 she will understand more and it'll be easier to work with her and give her rewards when she's good...

Give her the opportunity to touch things, but you control it while making her believe she is in control. Say to her "oh you would like to touch this? Touch gently with your pointer finger." When you say this show her the difference on her hand between touching gently and touching rough or hard. Then help her practice. If she gets the urge to touch out of her system, she won't have the interest to be a terror about it and frustrate you so badly. This has worked beautifully for my 3 children. It has allowed me to keep a Christmas tree up without having the bottom half either protected by a fence or missing ornaments. I also don't have to keep things out of reach to prevent them from touching it. Obviously I am still safe about it, like knives are not left out unattended. However, I can leave fresh flowers out and know that not only will the vase not get spilled, but the flowers will not be missing petals. Be consistent and try not to stress too much about it. It seems to make them want to do it more. Just stick with allowing a gentle touch and you will see a changed girl. My kids are the only kids that my grandma doesnt have to hide her knick knacks from when we come over. It may also help to set up rules like get a child leash. Put it on her to show her what it is and how it works. When you go to the mall/store she must walk next to you, holding your stroller, cart, hand, etc and the 1st time she does not follow the rule, she is put in the leash and no longer is in control of her own body. You can explain all of this to her before going and she should understand. She is also old enough to begin understanding the concept of strangers and why it is unsafe to run away from mommy at the store. I read my kids a winnie the pooh book on strangers and basically reworded it a bit so that they cannot talk to strangers unless they are with mommy or daddy and we say it is okay. My now 3.5 yr old understood this quite well when he was 2. We went to see my grandparents that he had never met just 2 months after his 2nd birthday so he was 26 months. My grandpa asked him for a hug and my son looked at me and yelled "mommy, this man is a stranger." HAHA. Technically he was to him.

Good luck and I hope you become less frazzled and can figure out how to manage your little one. This age is fun, but busy!

B. :)

i agree with terri.i always kept my kids in the cart.the mall dont usually have carts and i know it can be very stressful taking your kids shopping especially at that young age.my youngest son is 12(looks like hes 8) and i still have trouble taking him shopping.so its not just you.good luck.