I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions for childbirth information-websites, books, etc. I am due 8/16 with my second so I know the process and feel prepared myself, however, my husband was deployed with the Army while I was pregnant with our first and missed labor/delivery. He basically missed the whole pregnancy as he left when I was 11 weeks along and came home when our daughter was 8 months. So this pregnancy has been new to him and having him home for it has made it extra special. He is nervous about labor and I am not sure how he prepared he is-I try to talk to him about it but he seems to get uncomfortable. So I'm hoping now that I am entering into the third trimester and labor is inevitable that he will realize its going to happen and it would be better if he was prepared. I was going to go through a childbirth refresher class with him but I just missed the last one a few days ago and the next is not scheduled until after my due date. I asked my doctor but he didn't seem to know of any good resources geared towards men that he might benefit from. I am going to have him read the information booklet from the hospital that actually explains the whole process of labor and delivery in sufficient detail. I am just wondering if anyone has any good resources or places to get information for him, perhaps geared toward men or labor support person? I figure if I do the work, find it and lay it out for him that he will read it on his own time. Thanks in advance!
The Bradley Method book is really thorough in explaining to the men/partner what the woman is going through and how to help her while she's in labor. I highly recommend it if you can find one.
Since you've already missed the class I would suggest doing the hospital tour together (even if you've done it/been there before by yourself.) I think this is the best way to "prepare" him. That way when it's time to go to the hospital he will know where to go, what to expect, etc.
A lot of men just aren't into learning about the whole labor/birthing process, it really is a profoundly female experience. It makes them sick or queasy or scared. I know there are exceptions and some men are totally into it, but I don't personally know a single man like that. My own husband would have been thrilled to have been in the waiting room but I MADE him stay with me. He wasn't really much help (he paced around like crazy, he closed his eyes and turned away during the actual birth) but I was comforted knowing he was there!
Talk to your husband about his comfort level. If you want him to be there with you then he SHOULD be there, but beyond that, don't push too much.
Hope it goes smoothly and with as little pain as possible!
This is a great book!
http://www.amazon.com/The-Birth-Partner-Third-Edition/dp/...
Hi, S.:
My daughter is a midwife in TN. She has had 4 home births herself.
Write her and ask her about your desires. She is use to my referrals to her.
____@____.com
Good luck
D.
Hands down your best bet is to take a Bradley Birth course with your hubby. You don't have to have a natural child birth just because you take this course--the instructors are very helpful. Another name for the Bradley method is 'Husband Coached Child Birth'. My husband went from not really wanting to read any of the stuff I was giving him about the labor and birth to being like a general on the battlefield while I was in labor. I cannot say enough about this class! NOTHING is more helpful to men (and their pregnant wives) than this class. Here is the link to find a local one near you:
Take a childbirth class together - it will serve as a refresher for you and an introduction for him. These classes are always the mom and her partner - so husbands are expected/encouraged. It was a true learning experience for my husband and he did great during both kids' deliveries - one natural one c-section.
Check out laugh and learn about childbirth. It is not so "in your face" as some can be, which is more comfortable for men (and some women) :)
Someone else mentioned it already, but I will second it: The Birth Partner is a FANTASTIC resource for dads. I'm a birth doula and I always recommend it to my clients! The ones who read it are the calmest, most prepared, and most supportive. Seriously, have him read it.
Bradley is great, but I don't know if you have time for a 12-week course. I love Hypnobabies (not Hypnobirthing--there is a difference!!) because it teaches everything that Bradley teaches on top of amazing relaxation & self-hypnosis. They even have a home self-study!
A doula would also be very helpful because she would be able to guide and reassure him along the way. Many give military discounts (I know I do!).
Good luck, and yay for him being able to be there this time around!
How sweet that you want to help your husband understand! ;} ...or maybe get it together... ? I think the What to Expect books are pretty good about including the father's perspective, in fact, I think there's a whole chapter devoted to him. You could get the book, or even check it out from the library, or go online to www.whattoexpect.com and search 'for dads'. I found 812 search results just now. I really liked that book when I was pregnant. I found the information honest and succinct. You might want to browse the topics and print a few that might help your husband, then give him the webisite to browse on his own... it shows the baby's development as your pregnancy progresses. That was always interesting to me. Good luck and congratulations on your second! I have two wonderful boys and it's challenging sometimes, but I can't imagine life without them. Be well.
I don't know, but I just want to say this is so sweet of you to think of!
Good luck to both of you!
Dawn
What to Expect When Expecting has a section geared towards dads. I'm also on www.babyzone.com, and for every gestational week, they have a section for dad's to let them know wha'ts going on.
We never found anything really geared specifically toward me. My hubby read all the same pregnancy books I read. He found them pretty informative. And we did the refresher coarse, which he liked because he could ask questions. If you missed the class, I would sign up for a tour of the hospital. Most do that pretty regularly and during our tour everyone was free to ask questions.
