Child's Family Picture

Nope, just let it go. He's got two families now, and that's just the one he chose for whatever reason. Tomorrow he might choose you.

Try to not take it too personally. My SD repeatedly left out family members in school projects. When she was in 5th grade, she did a timeline with her mom and had a ton of things related to her mom, but the only references to DH or I were our wedding and a picture with a HUGE x through it for DH and BM's divorce. Now, tell me, who had a hand there? It may also be influenced by where he was at the time. Was he with Dad that week? And at 8 does he understand the venn diagram that is his family? My DD is sometimes confused about how SS and SD are her brother/sister but they have another mommy. I would go through family photos at some point just to reinforce how big his family is without getting upset about this drawing.

FWIW, I once drew a baby brother (I have no brothers). My mom was horrified to be congratulated by the teacher on her pregnancy....

Aw, ouch mama :(
Don't take it personally (hard not to I'm sure!) He was probably just thinking about his dad at that moment so he drew his family at his dad's house. I'm sure that's all it is. Young children are still learning to sort things out in their minds, so they don't always stop, pull back and look at the whole picture, that's a more mature thought process.
<hugs>

Here is the thing with kids, that don't think like we do. They have not hit the point, thankfully, where they consider everything before doing something.

More than likely he was at his dad's house the morning the assignment was made. Maybe his half brother or sister ate one of his crayons. Maybe he thought that family would fill the picture better than his other family would.

Whatever the reason it was not because he loves that family more, enjoys being a part of it more, or anything else that was going through your mind.

You need to learn not to be hurt by things like that because he is an innocent kid, he needed to draw a family and he just happened to pick that one. Another thing is you are fooling yourself if you don't think he picked up on how hurt you were. So if you want him to be happy stop getting upset over innocent things.

I know that when my younger two were around that age family always equaled the house they left that morning, nothing more. Every project about family was the house they left when the assignment was made. That is just how kids minds work.

My SD was about 8 when she had to write out her family tree. She put her mom and dad in the "mom" and "dad" spot. For brothers and sisters she put her sister, but her sister is her half-sister and not biologically her dad's. Then she put me under her sister and her mom's boyfriend next to me (so it looked like we were together, and the children of her and her sister!)

She put her Great-Grandma in the "Grandma" spot. She left out her Great-Grandpa and instead put her step-grandpa. She left out her bio-grandpa.

Anyway, we all laughed because she was so confused!

Step-families are hard (and in our family everyone has been divorced and remarried! Including Grandma on both sides and Great Grandma)

When you say "family" it's hard for a young child. My SD never wanted to put her mom and dad in the same picture because she knew they weren't together, so they weren't a family. How do you draw two families when the teacher says "draw your family?" And when you see the example of a married mom and dad plus siblings, it's DIFFICULT for a child with a mixed family.

Don't put your adult feelings into it. Your son did not slight you. He did the best he could with his limited understanding. I would bet he drew his dad because he looks up to his dad, like most all little boys do. It's not a contest between families as to where he is loved or most happy.

One thing you CAN do, is calmly and SANELY sit down with him. Then draw up your family tree. Show him how he's in TWO family trees, and make sure you emphasize how LUCKY he is to have so many people who love him. Show him where all his family members go and how they relate to each other. Reassure him of his place. Help him to draw a picture that includes both sides. He probably didn't know how to do it and make it look right.

Not only will that give you both peace of mind, but it will reassure him.

Good luck! Blended families are hard.

It's not personal, and it means nothing.

Ugh, I'd be upset too. :(

But like others said, don't take it personally (or, try not to). Who knows what his 8-year-old mind was thinking when he drew that. Maybe he didn't have the time to include everyone. Maybe he just wanted to represent a sort of 'nuclear' family. Who knows. Sorry you're upset.

I went through this exact thing with my daughter. I was crushed but let her feel like I supported all her choices. That's all we can do with the situation we placed them in. Maybe next time you will be the family picture!

Try not to let it get to you so much and I no thats easier said than done. Most always when a child only visit a parent on their assigned visitation set by the court that parent tends to show that child nothing but good times and buy for them trying to make up for not being there with them everyday. If this is the case then it's because he has nothing but good times with them and no responsibilities as he may at home. So of course they would pop in his head before you and his step dad. Sucks for us full time parents to be the bad guy when we try to teach our children about life and that it isnt always fun. I hope this helps.

Maybe your son sees all of you as his "2 families"? he is fortunate to have so many families and they all love him..

He drew 1 so maybe you can ask him to draw the other, just to see what he draws.

I remember this assignment. It included me outside on a swing. My father with glasses walking through the front door. My sister crying and my mothers BACK, while she was cooking..

I recall hearing my parents speak about it that night.. I was surprised that they took it so personally. They read into so much into it..

I was in 1st grade.. As I have said before.. Never underestimate your children.. they really do know what is going on around them.

That blows! :( I'd be hurt too. I'd probably be more dramatic than you though and fly off the handle and say something stupid like "have you no idea of how much pain and suffering I went through giving birth to you, all those late night feedings...and have you really forgotten those potty training years?" :)

My guess is that this is life unconsciously preparing you for when he's going to chose his friends or even (gasp!) his girlfriend over you to spend time with...in later years, of course. Hang in there.. you know he is happy and loves you deep down more than you can ever guess.