I have two boys, One is 20 and will be 21 in January the other just turned 19 today. Here is the story: We are moving away and my sons have decided to go live with their father in PA and not go with me to CA. Miraculously their father got a job and an apartment within a months time of our moving announcement. I havent seen child support in years from their father. He tells my sons he has 6 months before they 'find' him, imagine our surprise when we got a deposit this week. So they 'found' him. History tells us he will quit shortly after the 'find' him. My son tells me he wont quit cause he has an apartment to pay rent for. He tells my sons its not fair he has to pay support if they are living with him and I tell my sons, he owes that money and will have to pay off no matter where they live. I feel hes teaching my sons that its ok not to pay your obligations, but thats another story.
With my sons deciding to move in with their father everyone asks me is their father is going to sue me for child support. And I never thought of that.... can he do that?
He owes me like 25K in child support, my sons dont have jobs and wont be in college cause it will take time to transfer and sign up again anyway, maybe next fall they will be back in school. They are still living with me right now. I dunno exactly when they stop calculating support in NY state I think its 21, but I doubt their father would drive from PA to NYC (our case is in the bronx and he cant drive anyway) to file a petition against me for support, but could he? Ive been a stay at home mom for the past 10 years, so no job, would they use my husband income if it did come to that?
I mean I could petition the court to arrest him for failure to pay support lol. (Ive seen arrests made for 10K owed) But Im too nice for that. 14 years ago I made a huge mistake and the court erased 16K from what he owed, another long story. Basically he kept crying how he couldnt live or get a job because of the court order, it was $65 a week for two kids, and so I went to court to 'pause' it as he asked me to do and they ended up erasing 16K. I couldnt get it put back on, and yea my sons know about that. He should owe 40K - I just keep thinking how messed up would it be if he did sue me and I had to come back to NY and fight this. Any thoughts?
BTW: Its not about the money for me, I havent required it for the past 18 or so years. Im afraid he may be the same ol jerk and try to screw me over yet again. Do I have anything to worry about?
Sorry I'm not seeking legal advice just wondering if any one has had it happen to them.
No he can't ask you for child support. Unless there's a disability an 18 yr old isn't considered a child.
No.
You supported the kids on your own through their childhood.
There's no way you owe anything now - they are adults.
Their father still owes what ever is in arrears.
You might put it into a trust fund for them or pay for college for them but he can't squeak out of paying what he owes unless there is a statue of limitations for collecting it involved.
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Ask this question on FindLaw.com and see what they say.
W., please talk to an attorney about this.
Your sons are adults now. They need to be working or in college. They don't need to be taken care of like when they were little. Not by you and not by their father.
You need to allow these young men to become independent. And you need to hold this awful man's feet to the fire for the money he owes.
Please talk to the lawyer. We can't really give you legal advice that you can actually trust. We aren't lawyers in the state of NY.
At 16, kids can leave home and even quit school on their own.
At 18, they are legally an adult, all across the US, and can enroll in the military and get jobs and go to college and support themselves.
At 21, they can drink.
You are free and clear of an ex trying to collect child support from you.
And yes, you are too nice. Your ex should have been supporting you and his children the entire time. What a jerk that he couldn't cough up $65 week. That's pathetic.
The law tends to be 21 if they are still in college. If they were in college, took only one semester off due to the change of address, they could petition to continue receiving support. Thing is it would be offset by what you are owed so he would end up with a fresh court order saying what he owed you. Any lawyer would tell him that so I wouldn't worry.
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Wow, it is amazing how many people are saying child support ends at 18. I can't say every state is like this but most states, it is 21 or when they finish school high school or college, which ever comes first.
Still he owes you back support so it is a non issue.
Firstly, he would be able to sue you in a PA court since that is where he and the 'children' live. In PA, child support ends at the age of 18 unless there is something in your original decree that states otherwise. Generally, support past the age of 18 is granted only if the child is attending college and then usually it only includes the cost of tuition, room and board and the obligation is split in three - 1/3 for mom, 1/3 for dad and 1/3 for the child.
The back child support that he owes is a separate issue and would not relate to any child support he would seek from you.
I would consult an attorney in your area. My personal understanding (and it may be wrong) is that of course he can't get child support from you for grown children. But that he DOES still owe you back child support, even though the kids are grown.
Ditto Doris Day-- you need an attorney. I can't tell you any more than that. Sorry. It's a truly crappy situation and I hope, for the sake of your sons and your ex, that he does not do this. He's just going to appear rather lame. If he chose to let the boys live with him without charging rent even though they are adults, then so be it.
You'd have to talk to a lawyer about back child support. And honestly, even if the court could force him to pay back child support now that they're adults that money isn't yours. It belongs to your children and THEY should get the money.
You need to talk to an attorney but I don't see how he could go after you for back child support when they lived with you and not him.
Additionally, I'm just confused as to why they're moving in with their father if he's such a bad guy? They're adults now, they need to get jobs and start acting like adults. I would tell them to stop hoping they'll see any money from him considering you're not willing to press any further charges against him for non-payment.
Good luck!!
Each jurisdiction is different and you really have to call your case worker to find out. Even then, he could sue you for anything. His wining the case would depend on the judge. You may be able to ask and get some insight.
In my opinion, the boys should be in school. It doesn't take that long to transfer and sign up. With that in mind, the support is set up for the upbringing of children. If they choose to go to school, then he very well may take you to court, at least try.
Remember, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
From the sounds of things, your X has lived a very unstable life for many years. It will be difficult for him to maintain stability with two children. You may want to get a place with an extra room.
It depends on your state so you would have to check with an attny. In AZ, if the father owes BACK child support, he has 3 years to pay it AFTER the child turns 18. If he doesn't pay it, it simply ends and he doesn't owe it. UNLESS the mother files a JUDGEMENT against the father through the county court house. If its granted, he will owe it until it's paid OFF, no matter how long it takes. Good luck.
My understanding is that no, they are adults, and unless there was some provision stating that a parent would support them through college, then he can't sue you for adults in his home anymore. What people may be thinking of is that you have (at least my mother had) 10 years after my sister turned 18 to recover back owed support. So YOU may be able to continue to go after him for the money he owed you, whatever hasn't been forgiven already. You do need to figure out if it's really 21 in your state and if so, what that really means. Does it mean he can if they are in college? That we cannot help you with.
I believe it may depend on the agreement you signed when you agreed upon the terms of the child support. My MIL receives child support for he youngest child until 26if she is living at home and attending college. You may want to review the terms of your agreement. I'm not sure if his failure to pay would affect your obligation to pay.
I truly believe that you need to call child support enforcement to verify this is back child support payments and in NO WAY current child support. He is NOT paying current child support. Child support ends when a child turns 18. The ONLY time it is extended is when the father agrees to pay child support until they finish high school.
He cannot go after you for child support. These are adult children. They do not deserve child support anymore, they should be supporting themselves.
You do deserve all the child support he owes you though and they should continue to take that money out until he is completely caught up. Then you won't receive any more money from him.
But just to get it from the horses mouth you need to hear this from your child support worker. This is back child support and they will continue to take it out of any pay he gets until he is caught up. Then he won't owe any more.
