Hi Everyone, My question today is for a friend of mine that is getting ready to leave her boyfriend of almost 8 yrs. They have two children, never got married. She doesn't work was a stay at home mom. I wanted to see if anyone had some advice for her on how to go about getting child support and anything ealse she needs to support her kids. Her boyfriend is getting advice from his dad and it seems like they are going to try to pull a fast one on her. (He works for his father). In California what are her rights and what can she get to support her kids? He says he will leave the house but she thinks that he is going to stop paying the house and walk away from it. She doesn't know what his dad is telling him to do, but it does not sound like it's going to be a smooth separation. She trys to talk to him, and when he needs to give her an answer he runs out to talk to his dad. I am trying give her as much support, but I've never been through this type of situation. So if anyone has gone through something like this or has some good advice, I will pass it on to her. Thank you so much for all the wonderful responses ahead of time.
First of all, she needs to get a notebook adn track every conversation and every action. Then she needs to get a laywer.
A.,
Suggest your friend get a copy of the tax returns. (All tax returns) If he's been filing tax returns he's no doubt claimed all four as deductions/dependents. She should also get copies of bank statements, and any kind of records pertaining to the household. I wouldn't ask, I would just explore and make copies.
If indeed, the father of her children is trying to pull a “fast one” and works for the family business, she could have the company records subpoenaed.
This is California and they were together a long time and have children. She may be entitled to spousal and child support since she has been a stay at home Mom all this time.
Blessings......
She needs a good attorney but that will cost money. She needs to have some kind of viable means of income. I wish she could have held on a little longer while she made a plan. She may need to be prepared to move into a place that she can afford. She may want to check into public assistance if she can't get income quickly.
Your friend is going to need to document everything regarding the care of the children. Child support is only one matter there is also the matter of custody. Custody is not automatic or instantaneously given to the mother. She could find herself in a position where she is not the custodial parent but he is and she will then be the one expected to provide child support.
She really needs an attorney to help her navigate this legally. While she can find out much from going to the county court website but they can not give her specific legal advice but can give her general advice. Whatever she does she really needs to meticulously plan things out and then work that plan.
Get an attorney and file the legal paperwork necessary to access child support. Really, every state is different, but she should be prepared to get a job b/c he does not owe her allimony and she'll be responsible for paying her bills!
She should be prepared with some kind of justified number in mind. I have friends who get a monthly check and then "split" major/unique costs (braces, medical costs, some even share the cost of large purchases such as furniture and lessons).
if they are not married, and have kids, then she AUTOMATICALLY has custody of the kids. he'll have no right to them without proof of paternity and an order established along with child support. my brother went through that with my neices mom, double check state laws, but i believe that is in every state. ok law also, he will have to give her 30 written notice (evection) to vacate the premises, so he can't just "kick her out".
also as far as child support, if he works with his dad, they are probably going to put his income "under the table", so it cannot be traced by the court. even if he does (in oklahoma) there's still child support considered based on minimum wage. if that's a possibility i would STRONGLY suggest her getting a private investigater to take pictures of him going to work and leaving, if he has money, etc, if he starts reporting no income but gets caught "going to work" then she can nail not only him but his dad too. and she needs to start written documentation of EVERY phone call, every time he gets the kids, if he kicks her out, texts, voicemails EVERYTHING that will come in VERY handy even a word document that she types up as she goes, i do this with my ex and go as far as exact time, and who made the call. (me or him). maybe even get a recorder to put on her cell phone, document document document!
Every state is different. The situation is compounded by the fact that they are not married and apparently are able to work out the specifics on their own. I suggest she contact a lawyer. If she can talk with him and tell him that she would like to work this out amongst themselves (custody, visitation, support, housing/bills), write everything down, type it up and have both sign in the prescence of a notary (have it notarized) it will help her. If she has access to his current pay stubs, it would be good to make copies before his employer (dad) can help him pull a fast one.
Is his name on the house? Is hers? Are they renting or buying? Has paternity been established? or will it need to be now? All of these things will play a part in what she should do (the first of which is petition for custody and child support).
She will likely need to get a job so she should start looking now. She should then keep childcare in mind when agreeing to support because she will now have that added expense (and he may be responsible for some or all of it).
like Wendilynn said she needs to keep track of everything starting whe they first discussed separation, and she needs to get a lawyer as of yesterday. She can get legal aid, needless to say not to sign or agree even verbally to anything as it might be legally binding@ all until she has proper representation.
Have her get a hold of as much information as she possibly can, specially financial info.
Even if he works for his dad there should be a record of how much he is getting paid, so she can look for that info too.
I'm sorry shes in this situation. Good Luck
She needs to get an attorney and take him to court for child support. An attorney can also help with the house issues. She should also get her hands on any type of financial documents she can, tax returns, pay stubs, utility bills, etc.
Have her contact Legal A. for some advise. Also, have her contact the Dept. of Social Services.
She also needs to start job hunting so she'll have a way to support herself and her children.
