A.L.
Hi - I know one that is really, really wonderful but she's in Arlington. In my opinion, she's worth the trip. She is Dr. Judy Anderson. She worked with the school system and was a teacher at one time. GREAT with kids. Kids really trust her and love her. She's been in the business for over 20 years. If you can't get to the area, maybe you could call her office and ask if they know of any good child psychologists in your area.
I think you must be a terrific mom to be on top of your 12 year old's issues. I have had the experience 3x and I know how hard this time is for both parent and kid. I remember the first time feeling like someone stole my sweet child and let a sullen, sad, dramatic, painfully withdrawn kid that I just didn't know. It was awful. Who is ever prepared for this age?
I also think that it's the worst year for everyone in their lifetimes. It doesn't appear that there are ANY happy 12 year olds who are comfortable in their own skin. It's funny and tragic at the same time. Some kids manage it better than others. For the parent of a 12 year old, I suggest buckling your seatbelt and hang on. And love and hold on to your child, too. There is so much going on in their bodies right then that they are bewildered, too.
I know I haven't been much help but maybe just hearing that other's have been there AND have gone for help from a professional to get your child checked out and to learn how to connect with your kid again, will maybe help you feel not so alone. God bless you!!