Child Is in Hysterics When at In-Laws... Help!

Kids are really good at picking up on attitudes of others. She may be sensing their disapproval and not know how else to respond. It sounds like they don't see her as the amazing and wonderful child you get to be with every day (not saying that they're choosing to see her in a certain way or anything).

Stay with your daughter when you go to visit. Don't leave her there for babysitting until she is comfortable. Be willing to be right there with her and let her just play with you and dad if that is what she wants. Help her greet grandma & grandpa and say good-bye. You can help her wave, and you say "hi grandma! hi grandpa!" in an excited voice. But don't push her to go to them. If they try to hold her or get closer than she is comfortable with, gently remind them that she needs to be the one to make the choice. She needs to feel safe and secure at their house, and part of that is knowing that they won't intrude on her space.

My daughter had the same problem with my husbands parents. And it just took time, but part of the problem was that they constantly would say, "Why are you crying" "What's wrong" "Do you ever stop crying" BLAH BLAH BLAH. It frustrated me to no end. Yes, my daughter did cry a lot, but she had severe acid reflux and had to be held a certain way to avoid pain. They just didn't take the time to care and do what was necessary. But against my wishes we just kept taking her there and when she was about 18 months she started liking them. Now she has a great time when we go there and so that makes Mommy happy too:) Good Luck! PS Can you tell them how you feel? That it bothers you when they constantly say those things to her...Kids pick up on negative energy and feed off it.

Hi N.,
I think we all have family members that our kids just aren't quite as comfortable with as we would like. Every relationship is different. My suggestion to you is to keep the visits as planned but stay there with your daughter. Perhaps take some games or activities that you can all do together and have dinner etc. Help your daughter gain comfort at their house while you are with her. Also invite them to your house. Have them play with your daughter with her own toys in her own house. All of those steps will help her to feel more comfortable with them. After a few months (or more) try to leave her with them again if you want. But remember, a child doesn't have to be babysat by a grandparent to be close to them and bond with them. Maybe that just isn't something that will be a good fit for their relationship. They can also get to know each other and form bonds from the whole family being together.
Take care,
B.

I hope you get some good answers because this is a good question! I will be interested because I have a similar problem with my 19 month old. He will go to my family, but he will not go to my husband's family. I feel bad. I know it's cause he doesn't know them very well...but I'd like to see some more ideas too! Thanks for asking the question!