Child in Routine and Having a Life...

Coming from the mom side of me and the teacher side as well, it is very important for children (and babies) to stay on a predictable schedule. They love routine and I strongly believe it helps in their development. I have a 5 mo. old baby as well, and she is on a pretty predictable schedule. She naps 3 times a day... 9-10, 12-2, 4-5 and loves to take her naps for the most part. She goes to bed at 7:30 after we run her through a routine--bath, books, breastfeed, songs, bed. She knows what to expect and when so when she goes down, it is very easy. We don't make her sleep in her car seat, unless it's the 4-5 nap and she nods off while we are out running errands. That is the only time I allow that to happen. Otherwise, I make it a point to be home when she naps and goes to bed. Your baby becomes priority over everything else... do what's best for him. My friends always want for me to come to lunch or do this and that--I just let them know it won't work for me b/c of the baby's nap schedule. I don't think it becomes much better or more flexible until they are about a yr. old.

Yep your schedule is run by your infant. This doesn't last long but if you don't stick to a schedule they tend to be cranky and over stimulated. Believe me this time will pass quickly and you will be looking back wishing you still had a schedule like that.

Your life now has to be dictated by what is best for your family - your marriage first, then the children. However, taking a child off a schedule for a weekend, especially during infancy, will affect his schedule during the week. If your husband and you enjoy going out together (congratulations! that stops for alot of couples after the birth of a child), I would recommend finding a trusted sitter - usually a relative, friend, or maybe a girl from church. If money is tight (sitters typically run about $10/hr, esp for an infant), try finding a another new mother to trade babysitting duties with...this has worked out for us. :) Good luck!!

In the grand scheme of things, your little boy will only be on this schedule for a very short time. If you feel being home at 7:30 is important, then get yourself home. My sister-in-law is very stringent about keeping my neice on a schedule, and she gets some flack about it from some family members, but she's stuck to it and it's what's best for her little one, so I commend her for it. I do agree that it's not the end of the world if your little guy gets off schedule every once in a while, like say at Christmas time when you want to be with your extended family, etc., but after all - this is your life and your little boy's life and you have to do what is right for you. IF you know that it'll take you an entire week to get him back on schedule because one night your friends/family pressured you to stay at a football party or whatever, then it's probably not worth the extra two hours you got to spend there. When he's two, three + you'll be able to make adjustments to his routine more easily and that time is not very far away! It will go by in a flash!

It is very easy for others to tell you to disrupt your kid's routine when they don't have to wake up a 3 or 4 AM. If you are comfortable with disrupting your child's sleep (sounds like he is a great sleeper!) and it doesnt't cause him distress (like crankiness or inability to sleep or eat) then it is up to you to decide if you take him along on social outings. But, it sounds like you are not confortable with that. I can tell you that I was a hawk when it came to protecting my children's sleep. And yes, that meant that our lives were run (and still are) by our children's nap and sleep schedules. We were not as lucky as you, our twins were not sound sleepers like your is-- even at nearly 12 months!-- but they settled into a routine eventually and we still live by their sleep needs. (They are 17 months old now.) My guess, is that it may be a while before they will be able to handle changes very well, but I am willing to miss outings with friends and colleagues if they are going to interrrupt their sleep. There is nothing like a well rested child to make your days and nights much smoother.

So, do what you feel is best and what you are most comfortable. Your child is your priority now.

Once your child is a routine addict your life will be run by routines until he is much older. I have seen children as old as 8 have total meltdowns because thier routine was interupted. On the weekends have your hubby bring you home then let him go back out if he wants or make him get up with the baby that is cranky because his routine is messed up. Also don't let other people pressure you into something you don't want to do if you want to go home then it is your desicion you are the one that has to take care of the baby. Maybe offer to have people over at your house that way baby can go to sleep and be in his own bed and you can visit. Your other option is going and enjoying yourself with the knowledge you are teaching you little one to accept change. R.

Some kids love their schedule, your son sounds like my children, as long as you don't mess with the schedule, they sleep great. Stick to your guns, home and in bed by 8:30pm. If something comes up that you want to stay out later for, arrange for Grandma or someone to babysit.

I feel schedule, routine, and being consistant with your baby is very important. Some kids need to know what to expect and when to expect it. It makes the twos easier, and life in general more peaceful. However, once in a while changing things is also important in your child's life, this way when the unexpected happens, car brakes down on the way home, a wait at the doctors office takes long or whatever, then your child will also be adaptable and make those times easier on you and your child too. I am not saying keep him up all weekend and then back to the schedule, you have to do what is best for you and your baby, good luck!

I think your lives should be run by your infants schedule. You and your husband will regret it if you don't keep a bedtime schedule at this age. Why don't you get a babysitter to come over after he goes to bed and then you can stay out longer.

about the age of 9 months to a year will your little one be ready for change until then just stick it out the best you can if you have to take cereal with so you can make up some that way you can be out a little later

ypu know what is best for your baby. his needs are more important than what every body else wants. it's ok for him to be off his schedule every once in a while, but not all the time. if your hubby wants to rip and run all weekend, when you'd rather be home, then let him go out by himself...he'll get tired of being the 3rd wgeel with his buddies soon enuf. and if you wan to go out with sometimes, just find a baby sitter(family or close friends if you can). thay way you can have some grown up fun and the baby can still be at home and in bed on time

C., not to sound bad but your life is going to be run by your child for a very long time. However that's ok, you do need time to yourself. Have you thought about finding a babysitter? I know it sucks having to get up in the middle of the night and believe me you are very lucky. My 10 month old still gets up about every other night. He's going through the night terrors, I think. I would just enjoy the quiet and if you feel you are up to going out then go. Have fun, enjoy yourself,try a babysitter. Your baby can handle changes in his schedule more than you can believe. I always put my children first but when I want to go somewhere I go. I hope this helps.
Chris

You definitely start deciphering between what is worth possibly disrupting their sleep and what isn't, but this is also a prime opportunity to keep at work on that intimacy level between you and your husband too. It's so easy to let a baby run your life, and become your number one priority. The bad thing about this is that all of a sudden you can't remember the last time that you and your husband did something alone together, or did something at all, even with the baby. So, I never had a problem with taking the baby over to a friend's house and hanging out with my husband with them until late so that him and I could get out and keep up on our social lives. I also let my mom babysit my babies (I had a 15 month old when I had my second) and that would throw off their schedules, but it's worth it when you look at how important it is to also stay focused on your marriage. So, I guess I'm saying that yes, a baby can tend to run your schedule, but I do not think that it's a good idea to let the baby run you and your husband out of your time together. If this happens, it can put a major strain on your marriage. After all, the center of your family isn't the baby, it's you and the baby's daddy. All of the children, jobs, home, and extended family stem off of the center of you and him. You and your husband are the foundation, so make it a solid one.

I also want to add that my kids are on an extremely strict schedule also. They have a strict bedtime, feeding times, and naptimes. So, it's not that they can't predict their schedules, it's just that I don't see a bit of a problem in every once in a while, having it disrupted. I've done this since they were little babies, and yes, they may wake up once or twice that night instead of sleeping all night long, but isn't it worth it to spend some quality time with your husband? If it's not, then I'd switch your priorities around because it's easy for a marriage to take backseat when a baby arrives. We stay out late for family events that are out of town. My kids' bedtime is still 8:30 (they're 3 and 4) and a lot of times, we don't leave my family's house until 9 and get home at around 10. Well, it only happens once every other month or so, so one night of disruptions is nothing every now and then.

I believe that children thrive on predictable schedules, but they do need to be trained to adapt to varying situations and circumstances. The relationship between you and your husband is the most important thing in your little boy's life. If that means him varying his schedule a bit for you two to spend some time out together, then so be it. I know it is annoying to have the baby sleeping in the carseat, but he is asleep, so he really doesn't care where he is at.

I do understand your need for a good nights sleep--you may just want to see if someone can come over after your son is asleep and you and your husband can go out for 2 or 3 hours. This way baby is sleeping while you are having your adult time.

I know your hubby would love to have that quality time with you--so just find a way that works best for your baby and him and you.