Child Developing Irrational Fear Overnight

Has anything happened recently in the tub? IE: slip, head went under when he wasn't expecting it? To us what would seem small can sometimes be huge to a child My youngest went through a phase where he wouldn't even get into the tub for almost a year, but he has outgrown it and is in love with baths now. Give it time and just let it ride.

I love the first answer, very great advice :) I am a stay at home-sometime photographer, and I would also suggest trying showers. When my 6 oldest kids are at school and I am needing my 45 minute bike ride, I put my 3 yr. old in the "shower" with a few toys and a popcicle.
I have little conversations with him back and fourth and we both do something we like. I am wondering if this would help because the tub will not fill up ?
Also, I agree with the first person who answered. ALL my children have had some fear of something for what ever reason and they absolutly DID grow out of it....my youngest daughter who is now 6, went through a stage at 4 yrs. old and she would just break down crying if her cheerio's floated in the bowl....serious breakdown. We bought a small bowl that would not allow for any floating room and she did grow out of it.
Good Luck !!!!!

i can't recall something like that ,yet.
but i would guess it's a phase that will pass
but i wouldn't force the issue. i would think as long as there is enough water to rinse him and wash him.. let him have the water as low as he needs it to be for him to trust the process of baths again.

i'm trying to think back.. my son was all of a sudden scared when going to bed, a monster thing.. but it passed.

could he have had an incident where he went under or swallowed some water and choked and that scared him?
i know even with our two we still have to leave the bathroom to dress the other but try to keep an ear out and check on the other still in the bath after a minute or two. i usually hve my son sing to me while i'm drying off/dressing my daughter in the other room so i know he isn't under water..lol
i can't imagine bath time with two 4 year olds and a 2 year old.. :-))
hope it passes for him and for you

I don't know that I would allow the child to adjust the water (thats a big NO NO in our house)but perhaps ask the child, where would you like to stop the water this time? Also show the child the over flow preventer. We went through the same thing and it WAS a cartoon. We just explained how cartoons are made and exaggeration and how it's supposed to be funny, such as tub overflowing (they did it in Oswald one day and REALLY went over board). Good luck!

As kids begin establishing what fears they have control over, they'll move in and out of them. Not necessarily experiencing them at the same time. trying th shower thing might be a good Idea. You could also try having him turn the water on faucet off and on, thus he has control of the faucet.

sometimes I think that from 2-4 it's more about what they can & can't control, not necessarily an outright fear.

Of course, you'd be there to help them to make sure they don't turn it too hot. That's kind of a no brainer, so if you're standing there with them then they can really adjust it badly.

I would have to say that, my opinion is, someone has done something to scare him, Thats all I can think, cause if you had no problem before. He would not do that , watch all his behaviors

I know this may sound a little nuts to you, and you may not even believe in this. But ask him why he doesn't want to go into the tub with more than that amount of water.

I say this because, he may have had a past life where he drowned in a little bit of water, and the memory is leaking over. It's fine if you don't believe me. But even if you don't believe me, you should still ask him why he doesn't want to.

You may find your answer there.

My children develop irrational fears all the time based upon things they see on PBS. I kid you not. Things that are suppose to be funny or lessons sometimes terrify them. Which is odd to me. So I think that could be a possible explination. I mean they got scared that there might be monsters under their beds because arthur did a show about how there are no monsters under beds...LOL!

Hi T.:
You may want to use this rationale, in Nursing with patients that have dementia you have have to humor them. If one of the patients resorts to a childhood memory and says something like "Sally needs to bring the eggs in from the hen house" you have to respond that Sally has already done so and the eggs are safe, because you can not convince them otherwise. The same applies for your son, just do what ever it takes to make him feel comfortable. He is convinced that the water is going to run over the side and you have tried to explain to him that it will not but in his mind it will, so go along with what he wants you to do. He will eventually outgrow this but in the meantime have you tried talking WITH him about this instead of AT him. What I mean by AT him is when you tell him that the water will not run over. Instead sit down with him and talk with him about his fear. You may want to ask your pediatrician about this sudden fear if it continues or gets worse. Good Luck
K.

In their book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have some creative techniques to get kids to talk more about their feelings.

One includes putting their worries, hopes, fears, desires, etc. to words without including a judgement or explanation about how irrational it is. Something along the lines of "You are scared the water will get too deep and go over your head."

This may be a way to discover what his fear is based on. It is tempting to jump immediately into re-assurance, but if you are looking for more explanation of where this fear is coming from, I suggest trying out your different theories to see if he seems to respond.

Good luck.

This exact thing happened a couple months ago to my 18 month old daughter. All I did was to let her pick the amount that she was comfortable with and distract her with songs and toys while she was bathing and it worked wonders, now she bathes without any tears or fears. Hope it helps.
C. Mother of two daughters 7years and 18months

When I was a nanny in MASS I had a 18 month old who was terrified of the water and wouldn't take a bath at all. I would start over with him. place him in a small tub or large bucket, if you have one and fill just the big tub with water. that way the water isn't actually touching him. Let him play with toys. Slowly, build up to putting a glass of water in his little tub. Let him do it. He may find out it's fun. Wash him like you would a baby and soon, give him a cloth to wash his own body. Put bubbles in the big tub and let him explore on his own. Don't leave him alone and after a while he won't mind the water being deep enough to fill his little tub. At least, that's what worked for me. If you don't understand, Write to me again. I'm not sure I made much sense. Good Luck!!!!

Who can understand the mind of anyone, let alone a small child. lol My 2 yr old use to love to swim and dunk her head under the water, suddenly didnt want water on her face when she took a bath. My son had the same fear when he was little, but with the age difference, he was bathing himself before she was born, so his fear is pretty much gone. I dont know why either. But what I did was show her that its ok to be afraid, but that there is nothing to fear. I would let her see me wash my hair and such. Then when the baby was old enough to get into the tub, I let her wash the baby's hair. Now she doesnt melt down when she gets water on her face, however she still doesnt enjoy it like she use to. I would get into the tub myself, while it is filling and show him there is nothing to fear, or let one of the other children do it. He is still young enough that a naked body around him will be no big deal. Or if you dont want to be naked around him, have your husband show him. Good Luck!

At four, my daughter became afraid of toilets. I kid you not ... toilets. It's a horrible fear to have because you can't avoid them, unless you're living in the wilderness. Hers did stem from an experience, which involved a fluke where some washer slid off of some pipe while she was on the toilet and made a huge grinding noise and made the toilet vibrate. So, I was fortunate enough to know the root of her fear. This lasted, until she was six. It involved her getting off and on the toilet as fast as she could, and we had to flush for her. She flatly refused to do it. Then, one day I was reading a John Rosemond column about a little boy who was afraid of newspaper. John advised the parents of the little boy to not react when he showed the fear. He said when he broke down in tears at the sight of newspaper that they were supposed to say, "There's nothing to be afraid of, if you don't want to be around newspaper, then go in another room. I will be here to keep you safe from anything that might be dangerous, but newspaper is not dangerous." That was not exactly the quote, but it was something along those lines. He said if they removed the newspaper or "protected" him from it, then it only reinforced the fear. After that, we quit acknowledging her fear, and honest-to-Betsy, she let it go too. Toilets and bathtubs are harder to avoid and more necessary than newspaper, but I guess you can still apply that basic principle. Good luck.

Take care,
J.