Child Decisions

I know how it is I am not married so its a little harder for me My kids are daughter 7 going to be 8 in July my son is 6 as of January 2 and the baby is going to be 1 in april 14(son).
Its not that bad my older kids are a big help to me and to my son's development he is 10 months and very advanced so if the age difference is a worry its fine

Hi, A.! I have a 10-month old son who is 16 years younger than one brother and 22 years younger than his oldest brother (my husband's kids from his first marriage). Obviously I don't know how it will play out in the long run, but it doesn't seem to me that he is any less adored by his brothers than if they were closer in age.

Also, from personal experience growing up, my older brother is 3 years older than me and 8 years older than my sister (who is 5 years younger than me). My parents had a hard time deciding if they wanted a third child as well and finally decided to go for it. My brother and sister aren't real close (I honestly don't think they would have been even if they were closer in age simply because they are so differnt), but I am close with both and tend to bind the three of us together. I think it worked out perfectly for our family and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Hope this helps! Good luck!

I have 5 kids... 20, 18, 17.... and then a 2 year old and a 3 month old! My older kids were "grown", nearly adults, and honestly, I just missed tending to their needs. I've become so accustomed to the nurturing aspect of my Self that it's pretty much dominated who I am as an adult. Without tending to kids, who am I, anyway? The one thing I most enjoyed in my life was tending to my kids, playing with them, teaching them and being amazed at how they learn, play, grow... finding my youngest at 15, ya know, they hardly "need" me anymore, they were so independent, and I felt lost, sad... like I have so much to give and noone to give it to, does that make sense?! I also felt that since I was such a young mother, I can look back and see things I wish I'd done with them, had I done this or that differently, could I have done things better, different, etc. I'm always analyzing what I did and how they responded, sorta like a novice Psychologist.... I decided that I could relive my joyful experience of nurturing a child, and at the same time, put my thoughts to the test, nurturing them in ways I wish I'd done with the first three. My 5th baby was a surprise, but a welcome one! My baby #4 was in essence an "only child" or a firstborn, having the "I'm the only little kid, the center of your universe" kinda thing going on. Now she shares the spotlight with baby Evelyn, she's getting used to it now. I think having baby #4 filled a need in my self, being that I enjoy time spent nurturing a growing child, so I would have to say it was a selfish reason why I intentionally became pregnant, yet I feel my baby #4 has many advantages I wasn't able to offer, emotionally or financially, my first three kids much of. Gina, baby #4, is very self confident, talks extremely well for her age, is incredibly smart, and I think this is a result of her getting ALL my attention for the first two years of her life! :)

I only have one child myself so far (I am only 25) but I am also the proud oldest of 6 children altogether. My mom & Dad have both remarried when I was young so they have children with them. My youngest siblings are 14&5 years old and they are like my babies because I was so old when they were born. I think that age difference makes no difference because the ones that are much younger than me I was able to help out my parents as lot more with them as babies, even babysit occasionally when my parents needed to get a break. Our ages are 25, 23, 21 20, 14 and 5 and we are all very close. I definitely had no fears about how to deal with my child because I obviously had extensive training in childcare growing up with 5 younger siblings :) Don't think that your kids won't be the same way. Personally I think it's harder for young kids to understand that the new baby needs a lot of attention and so forth and your kids are old enough not to give you a hard time about it. If expanding your family is something you want to do I say go for it and bless you and your family.

I am 8 years older than my brother and 12 years older than my sister. My experience looking back, it wasn't bad. One of the biggest issue's was my rebellious teenager years affected there childhood (thank god it stoppped before it influenced them). I remember being really excited that there was going to be a baby around, and I was able to play mommy. I don't remember feeling angry or regected at all. I would say its a good learning experience for your older kids, for later in life. I am second oldest in the line-up of 27, 23, 14, 12. I am very close with my brother and am at that age where I can play friend and adult during his teenager years, which I think is helpful to my parents. But, my relationship with my little sister is a little strained since I am raising my own children and she is very much still being raised. But other factors influence that, since we weren't raised in the same household and my older sis and I are bestfriends. From what other people have posted, this is a situation I guess can go either way. And having an extra set of eyes on your new little one is always helpful. In the end I don't think any of us would trade each other for anything. I had a lot of fun having little ones around.

I can only reply as a child that was 8yrs and 11months older then my sister... We were not playmates - we were not friends - she was a pain in my butt..... when I was 12 and she 3 I had to babysit her and share a room and I didn't like that.... Now that we are much older we are friends.... but the age gap was so large it just got in the way.
S.

Well....we have two boys, ages 10 and 3 boys and we are ttcing for another. They have had their moments like any other kids. The thing I like about them being so different in their ages is that the older one can learn more about patience and how to treat others through growing up with one so much younger than him. He tends to be very impatient and so this is very good for him. He was so cute while I was pregnant and so happy about us having another one, but he didn't realize that it would be so different when we actually did give birth to his younger brother, but it's been very good. We look forward on giving birth again someday.

DEAR A.,
MY NAME IS L. IM AM 41 YEARS OLD AND I WAS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHTS AS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE RIGHT NOW..TO START OFF WITH I HAVE A DAUGHTER 21 AND A SON 18, WASNT PLANNING ON HAVING ANYMORE THAN FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNENT WITH MY 3RD CHILD, HE IS NOW 8 YEARS OLD .. REALLY THOUGHT I DIDNT WANT ANYMORE.OOP'S AND BEHOLD I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT AFTER 8 YEARSNOW I HAVE A BABY GIRL 4 MONTHS OLD AND IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE AROUND ALL OVER AGAIN I SAY GO FOR IT THE MORE THEN MERRY THEY ARE A GIFT FROM GOD L.

My husband was a "surprise"; he has a sister who is seven years older and a brother who is nine years older, and his parents weren't planning on any more children. According to everyone I've talked to, though, it was wonderful. The older two children were old enough to appreciate and enjoy having a baby around to play with, and when they were teens and he was still a child they had lots of fun interacting with him. Now that they're all adults, they get along wonderfully. One thing that's good about having a big age difference is that the older children can help out with and interact with the youngest, instead of fighting with a sibling who's so close in age that it makes things difficult. Also, as a parent, you don't have to worry about changing two sets of diapers, making sure that children close in age don't fight over similar toys, etc. I am planning on spacing my children further apart than is common.