Child Custody - Toledo,OH

M.,
I went through a horrible divorce from the father of my first 5 children. My first advice is to have a good lawyer. That was the best thing I did. Try to be really careful of everything you do. Be certain you can prove that you can take good care of the children. I personally believe that children are best cared for by the mothers. (with a few exceptions for addicts, abusers etc.) You should have photos handy of the kids being fed, cleaned, played with and cared for in case you need them later. Make sure your home enviorment is clean and safe. Have a good relationship with teachers at their school. My ex tried to get custody of my children during our divorce. It didn't happen but, it was THE most awful year of my life. I hope things go well for you- just be prepared to fight for your babies and be ready to prove yourself able. I will pray for you.

Get an attonery. If he has not been in there life for 3 years the judge might not give them custody. I myself went though this in a simmalr way. There father did not pay support and still does not. He tried to take me to court to get custody. I had to go to courts and take kids on some days to see an attonery for kids. This is manditory though Montgomery county courts. They interviewed kids both wanted to stay with me, They came to my house seen how we live. They even went to my ex's house see how he lives. After months of all this we went into court. They granted him nothing but to start paying support. So Im not sure how old your kids are but if they are old enough they can choose where they want to live. So call attonery see what they say also. Good Luck
D.

Try keeping a notebook of the date and time and summarry of these confrontations, I've never had to use mine, but I have been told from reliable sources that having things written down while you still remember all the details is much better than trying to recall them off the top of your head in court.

Hi M.,

According to my experience (I do have sole custody of my 3 young children and their father only has supervised visitation) - this is my advice...

Next time you go to court, ask the judge/magistrate to assign a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) for your children. A GAL is the children's attorney (not yours - not your ex's, the GAL's only focus is to speak on behalf of the children). The judges know who the best GALs are and they will think "highly" of you for asking for a Guardian Ad Litem rather than them having to assign one to the children anyway... Also, based on your income/his income - the court will pay the GAL fees and/or your portion of the GAL fees and your ex would probably have to pay his portion!

Look into legal representation for yourself by interviewing other attorneys... This way you can say (to a judge/magistrate/GAL) you have been looking into finding an attorney (some attorneys may take on your case Pro-Bono or handle your case for a minimum flat fee) - Similar to the GAL, you can ask a judge/magistrate to assign an attorney (even one you've interviewed but can't afford) Pro-Bono based on your income/circumstances. If you find an attorney you like/respect, after interviewing them see if he/she would consider taking on your case Pro-Bono and/or what their flat fee for representing you will be?

The new wife... Think of it this way, your ex never had a problem choosing a good woman, right? After all, he had you (for a while anyway)! Your goal is and always should be to have a "healthy" parenting relationship with them. (In the end, a healthy one could mean minimum visitation)... So, include her in on everything, ask her for her opinion, let her show her true colors (to you, to your ex, to the GAL, a judge, etc.) It could be that if he does receive any custody - you might have some comfort knowing she's there too! She's probably a "good" person especially if she's been encouraging him to have a relationship with his children. And from what you wrote, you did agree to him having some kind of relationship with his children back in August. Joint custody isn't so bad as long as you are the sole residential parent (it is shared parenting you don't want)!

I hope this helps... I will keep you and your children in my prayers! K.

M. S.
Get a good attorney. Mine was Russel Kubyn:

Kubyn & Kubyn Attorneys At Law
1 Victoria Square Suite 280
Painesville, OH 44077
###-###-####

he does give FREE ADVICE, you may want to call him to see if he knows anyone in your area. He is very Quite in his large office, but get him into court and HE is a LION! Bing Bam BOOM you are divorced and You get what you want.
He will work with you on finances as well.

My EX-Husband TRIED to get JOINT CUSTODY! Russel Kubyn was in there and with-in a few minutes we were divorced and I have full custody. He has supervised visitation EVERY Saturday and Sunday at my home,He has NOT used his visitation more than once or twice and it now has been Three years since he saw our 19 year old son (I did call him when Logan had a tumor removed in an open heart surgery at age 16)and Seven years since he saw our 9 year old(I also called him when Mason had surgery for tubes in his ear, tonsilectomy and adnoidectomy when he was 2 years old). Luckily I am re-married to a Wonderful man. But I ALWAYS tell everyone about Russel Kubyn because he truly helped me through a bad time.I am forever Greatful for him.

Tell him C.(pronoun CorInn) Balante
(formerly C. PLYLER---Pronoun PLY LER )sent you.

Good Luck I hope this helps you.

First of all talk to a family lawyer they will tell you that since you have had the children on your own for the past 3 years that it will be upon your husband to prove (with evidence) you a bad parent. Secondly she has no say...when it comes to custody cases the wife will not be allowed in the mitigation room or to take part at all in the mitigation. Hopefully this helps put your mind at ease. But i would take the first step and file for full custody and have the lawyer help you.

first thing here is the fact that you probally will not be able to prevent him form getting the standard visitation of every other weekend, I've been through this more times than I can count and my ex has a history of domestic violence and still gets the kids. get an attorney, if they are the ones filing then you can even apply for legal aid if you need to. also look into possibly sittiing down with a mediator or getting a representaive through your area for the children there are several different groups that can get involved and be on the side of your kids and nothing else, and trust me a lot of what they look for and then take to the judge are things like who insures tehm and who makes thier doctors appointments and who gets them to school and such, and since it's been you for the last three years then that should be in your favor. also get a support system, be it a good babysitter or your parents or whatever but be able to tell teh judge that while you're at school or work or whatever the kids are here with these ppl regularly and so on. structure is very importan no judge wants to take happy children out of a safe and stable home. trust me though short of you finding a reason to justify supervised visitation he will probally get them every other weekend and you are better off saying that you agree with that than you are appearing to want to keep him out of thier lives forever. and if it matters his new wife has no say in that court room, it looks good tha he is married, it makes it more likely he can provide a stable home but her opinion doesn't mean anything they are not her kids, I'd suggest that once it does go to court or before then you have your attorney set yu up with a mediator, just you and thier father, nothing you say in there goes before a judge unless you agree to something and tehn the mediator puts it before a judge that thius is what you both want but it might make it easier to talk to your ex with his new wife not around so you can keep things from getting to out of hand for the sake of your kids. and it also shows the judge that you are trying to work this out on your own and not just fighting all the time. oh and a little piece of advice nomatter how good things get, document everything, every missed visit, every time they are late picking up or returning the kids, anything out of the ordinary as far as illness and injury, do the kids get hurt often there or come home sick all the time ect. you never know what can happen and it helps if ou can go back and say that on these days this happened and so forth, these things can drag on for years and it is likely that your ex will say ok i'll settle for this for now since i haven't been around but i want to look at it again in a year and change it, at least this way you will be prepared if that ever happens. good luck and god bless

Hi M.. I've battled my ex husband nearly every six months for 7 years over one thing or another... he just can't seem to get enough of takeing me to court. I do a majority of the proceedings Pro Se, which means I represent myself. I've not lost anything yet! If you would like, send me an e mail and I can try to direct you to some info. Sorry you're going through this, I know it's rough.