Child Being Moved from Kindergarten to a Pre-k Program

Updated on November 19, 2009
K.H. asks from Poway, CA
22 answers

Hi~
My son is 5 years old and has been in kindergarten since the beginning of the school year. He is doing very well socially but not doing so well academically. I've just had my first conference with his teacher and she has recommended that he be placed into a pre-k program and taken out of kindergarten. I'm not opposed to the idea, but I'm very concerned about how the move will effect him emotionally. He is a very intuitive and sensitive boy and I would hate to have him feel like a failure to be moved across the playground to a pre-k class room and still see all his friends in his old kindergarten class daily. Does anyone have any experience with this? How has it worked out for the child?? Any specifics on if I should or shouldn't do this??
Thank you!!
Kris

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is better to move him now than to wait and have academic problems throughout his school career. My daughter was in the pre-K program in Torrance and it was the best thing we ever did. She is in the 5th grade and at the top of her class. My older daughter would have benefited from the program but I didn't know about it and she struggled all through school. At this age, it isn't a big deal, he'll make friends in this grade and no one will remember.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is it an option to keep him in kinder for two years? Or do they really think he has some huge gaps that need to be filled in at pre-k.
If you do decide to send him over to pre-k, he'll barely remember it later I think. In the grand scheme of things, probably will just be a tiny blip on his educational years.
But I would find out if they theink it would help to just keep in him kindergarten and have him repeat.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey K.,
I was a teacher for 17 years and so I have plenty of experience on the opposite end of this. From what I have seen, most children adapt quite well to this change, especially if the parents present the change in a positive light. There is no need to present the information that your child is behind academically to him. You can just tell him that his teacher really wants to give him the best school experience possible and that she feels the other class would help him to be the best student he can be.
Also, I have seen first hand what happens when a child is not moved. Eventually they get so far behind that they give up and no longer are motivated to try. Giving your child the gift of another year will help to ensure his academic success.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K., Do it now, are there no other children making the move too? If not, make it OK to do the move and support him. Trust the teacher or add another evaluation but she probably has gotten it right. then later you will be very happy, it only gets tougher each year. A small pain, for you? but better rewards and a nice confident child for the next 12 years.
He'll be fine, don't worry. deb
PS After reading the comments, why do all kids have to be reading, writing cursive and writing poetry by the age of 4? Let him grow and develop at his time, no tutors at the age of 5 for God's sake!!! Stop the madness! What is going on with making these kids into robots, and some sort of reflection of how you hope everyone thinks about you...let him be a kid, love him like you do, he'll be fine.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, Is your son aware of the fact that the other class is pre-k? He might not really know the difference. At my grandsons' school, the pre-ks and the kindergarteners all play on the same playground. I don't know if it the same way at yours. You might be able to tell him that he is going to go to a new class where the work will be easier for him. I would just make it a positive thing for him. It is much better to do this now than in a few years. I tried for several years to get someone to listen to me that our oldest son was struggling. He was in fifth grade before a teacher finally listened and retained him. It was dissapointing for him at that age. I went through the same thing with our youngest. That was many years ago. Our sons are 39 and 31 years old now.
If your son suddenly gets that he is a year behind his friends in school, I would just tell him that he gets to do it over and is very lucky to get to.
Good luck with your precious little boys.
K. K.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from San Diego on

My son is 9. He did fine in K at 5 years old, but now in 4th, I wish I would of given him another year to mature. He is playful and very smart, but not ready for the huge burden of work. So, I took him out of school. He was only going part time, now I have him home full time.

My daughter is 7 tomorrow. She is in first grade and doing extremely well. She could of gone into K at 4 and turned 5 in November, but I kept her in Pre-K for two years. She does extremely well. When she went to the second year a of Pre-K, it was Winter Break and she said to me, "Mom, all my friends from pre-k last year are in K." I said, "That's right, but you are very special, you get to stay in pre-k and have Mrs. O and play with all the neat toys for another year." It took her a half a year to even notice and then she mentioned it and dropped it. When she went into K, she was ready.

I say do it. It is a blessing in disguise. If you think the other kids will be a bother, I would try a different school, so he is totally removed from any recognition from other kids.

It is OK, to play and not be ready.

God Bless!

J.

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have not seen this or dealt with this myself, but I had considered holding my daughter back from 2nd grade (doing 1st again) and with that, I had wished she did Kindergarten again. All I can tell you is that now is the time to do it. He is so little, it will not phase him a year from now. He will make new friends. The ache that he may go through now would be nothing compared to what he and you would have to deal with if he was always behind in school. Avoid the future struggles, especially if a teacher is advising this now. And when you do it, make up some good reason for it for your son. He does not need to know the truth. What I was going to tell my daughter, if I had held her back, was that the 1st grade teacher needed her help and she was chosen since she was so smart. Do something like that.
Good luck.

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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

I tend to agree with your comments regarding self-esteem. I think it makes more sense to finish the year in K, then repeat K if necessary.
I'm a primary teacher. Students have come to me after repeating K and have completed their first and second level years with much success. They come in more mature and more prepared for the academic work often performing ahead of the class (great confidence booster in the longer run). There are exceptions, but usually for a reason. It may be determined the student has a learning disability.
K is the best year to repeat, in my opinion, to avoid hits to the child's self-esteem.
Also, although a greater number of children are attending Pre-K and K programs, to my knowledge K is not mandated. (Here's a link to California's Ed dept regarding K FAQs, http://www.cde.ca.gov/ci/gs/em/kinderfaq.asp#n2) It's rare, but possible that I get a child without a Kinder experience in first grade. I'm still responsible for getting these children up to speed and prepared for second grade.
I'm curious, is this a private school?
I wish you much luck with your decision.

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can certainly sympathize with a smart little man who is sensitive and may feel slighted with the move. You're gonna have to come up with some fancy plan to make that more palatible, for sure, but one thing I do know - with the school curriculum the way it is, ESPECIALLY for a boy, you do not want him to always be struggling - you want him to feel on top of things, and if he's just that bit older and wiser, he will feel SO much more accomplished and happy in the long run. I know so many parents who would agree. The good thing is - it's early in the year - it's a good time to do it. Also, I've noticed when kids are in the younger grades, they really look up to the kids in their class who are older and smarter. So again, I really think in the long run it's gonna be ok - tough for a while, but much better the whole rest of his school life. Go for it.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I would suggest you keep your little boy at home with you. There is really no need for academics at his young age. Do fun things with him, take him places, laugh. These years go by sooo fast. He will have many years in school, and only a few years with you. Especially if your older little boy is in school, this can be a very priceless one on one time with your younger one. You can't get this time back with your boy. Good luck.

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P.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

My step-daughter did 5k twice. She has a September birthday. When she was younger it bothered her but by the time she was 9 or 10 she like the fact that she was more 'mature' than her classmates and was also a little ahead academically. At that age peers forget that she was 'supposed' to be in another grade. At this point she is doing really well and makes great grades. At first we thought we had made the wrong decision but in the long run we have been very pleased with our decision. One thing I'll add before you make any decisions have an eye exam from an opthemoligist not just an optometrist. They have machines that can actually take readings from the eye that are much more accurate than a 'which one's better, 1 or 2?'. I'd also have a hearing test that is the advanced testing and not just the sitting in a box and telling when they can hear the sound. My son had the traditional hearing test done thru his ENT and they said he was fine. I went to the audiologist with the Early Intervention program and they did a much more detailed test that included a test that can actually tell how the ear drum vibrates based on different sounds. That test told us that he wasn't hearing correctly. My step-daughter had the same problem.

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G.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

Since you are a stay at home mom, have you considered maybe homeschooling him for the remander of the school year? There are online homeschool programs. It might be a way for him to catch up and have the one on one attention that he needs academically.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the Mom who wants to know what the specific academics are that he is behind in. Why don't you find out and work with him on it at night? Also, perhaps a tutor would be a good idea. I just wouldn't move him back if he's doing well socially. Just do extra work at home with him academically.

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W.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

Get specifics on his "academics." This could be several issues, dyslexia being a common one. Research shows holding children back and asking them to repeat grades doesn't improve academics. Remember the saying, insanity is doing the same thing over, expecting different results. As a reading specialist, I recommend you find someone who can assess the specifics to the academic issues and address those. Dyslexic students learn to read differently, and teachers need to take different approaches and not rely on repeating the grade because the child is not "ready," an outdated myth educators still hang onto.
Good luck,
Wendy

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

As difficult as this might be for both you and your son, it is probably best to move him. If your little guy is struggling now, can you imagine how it will be for him for the duration of school? He'll spend now through his senior year trying so hard to make it. Maybe if you hold him back now, he'll have a chance to get up caught up. Think about the long term. If he is doing well socially, then he will probably adjust really well. Maybe you can also see if your son can qualify for assistance as well (through the state). You should talk to the teacher about all of your options to help him get caught up. I wish you the best, I'm sure it's not easy!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
You need to get more information about what he's not doing academically and why. There could be many reasons - your son may need to sit in a different seat because other kids are distracting him or he may have a problem in a certain area or the teacher may not be a good teacher. I would let your son finish the year in this class but definitely find out what he needs help with and work with him at home - yourself or with a tutor. If he is having trouble with writing take him for some Occupational Therapy (we did this between Pre-K and K). My niece is a Sept baby and they were debating holding her back from Kindergarten. They decided to send her. After the first week or so the teacher recommended that she be sent back to Pre-K. We left her in Kindergarten, worked with her at home on her reading and writing, and at some point everything just clicked with her and she finished Kindergarten doing great and is doing great in First Grade. Immediately moving your son without trying to fix the problem is easier for the teacher but it's not necessarily what's best for you or your son. See if you can work it out first so he can stay with his friends.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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P.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter just turned 6 in Oct. I had her repeat Kindergarten because she would have been the 4th youngest in her 1st grade class out 45 students. Decided to have her repeat kinder and now she feels like she is the smartest in class and on top of the world! Couldn't be happier!

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

He won't know it's pre k and notjust k unless you tell him. Explain to him he's lucky to be getting a new teacher and more new friends.

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G.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

i've never heard of this! at our school, if there is an issue the child usually just repeats kindergarten with a different teacher. being exposed to all the wonderful things in kindergarten can't be bad.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh no way!! The school should be able to pull him out for a few hours a day and have him work independantly with an intervention teacher. If he does not improve he can repeat Kinder next year.

Speak to school official and the teacher, there are lots of resources and options!

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.

I think that you have a valid concern about his reaction to this transition, since he can possibly still see his "old" classmates from across the playground and they can see him! I can sympathize. I have a 5 year old too, and I think that each child is different. Mine is an Oct. baby, so we decided early on to let him go to an optional 2 year kinder program (he can finish kinder in 1 or 2 years depending on his progress). You know your child the best. If you think that he might be "crushed" over this transition, I would fight to have him stay in the current class (knowing he would be bihind), and ask to repeat the kinder next year. If kinder and 1st grade are also on the same campus in his school, he may be faced with the similar issue again next year, but hopefully he would be more mature and could handle it better. I know that is what I would do in your situation, as my son, at 5, knows very well the difference between pre-K and K is. Plus, if he does the same material two times, hopefully that will help him learn it. This is just my 2 cents worth.

Sorry that you have to go thru this. The teacher's suggestion sounds a bit insensitive (though perhaps sensible) to me... but life is full of challenges like this, isn't it? Best of luck in your choices.

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R.G.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter is in kindergarten and there is a girl in her class that the teacher is asking to go to EAK (early admission Kindergarten). Is this what they are asking you to do?

My daughter has 25 children in her class for one teacher. (only parent volunteers for help) She is expected to teach them how to read but some children don't even know their letters or English for that matter. If he is struggling he will probably just get further and further behind because the teacher just can't slow down for one kid. (As harsh as that sounds.) Someone suggested an intervention teacher working with them, but I doubt this kind of resource is available at all schools. If it is just academics, you could possibly work with him to help him get up to speed. You could also volunteer in the class to see exactly what he struggles with. I work in my daughter's class 4 hours a week and I know what my daughter needs to work on at home and what she is excelling at.

I am sure that if you do indeed move him he will recover much quicker than if he is academically slower than he classmates.

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