Cheerleader Dilemma

As a former cheerleader (a million years ago), I kind of think that you should go ahead an put her with the younger girls. She will get the chance to move up soon but I think the experience of being more advanced on a younger squad could be a great opportunity for her to learn how to be a leader and help teach the younger kids. Skills that will be a great asset to her as she grows up. Maybe she can attend some practices with the older squad and serve as a kind of alternate for that squad so that she can continue to grow and build her skills while still competing with the younger squad.

Put her in the younger squad.
She can help teach the girls her own age.
What are the age ranges for if you're going to ignore them when it suits you?
What's the rush?
She'll be old enough for the older squad next year.
Every one else paid their dues and competed in like age brackets.
Making an exception for her is unfair and I can see why the older girls are upset.

Include her and market it to the older girls and parents as a great way to mentor and be an example. They are pulling Diva routines that should not be accepted. Calmly meet with all the parents and tell them that as the coach you want the best for the TEAM and the individuals. Then tell them that the TEAM's best chance for success in competitions is to include the 7 year old on the team. Then tell them of all the benefits for their daughters as individuals (unfortunately, this is probably where you'll be able to sell it to them since people are basically selfish). Chances are, if this younger girl is as good as you think she is, that the other parents are jealous and think their daughters will be slighted by having such a star figure on the team. If the parents have younger daughters, you could also sell it as building up such a winning team for when their younger ones are old enough/talented enough to be on the team. I think we in America are far too concentrated on age as a basis for activities instead of ability. Good luck to you!

i can see pros and cons either way you go. i know you feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, but i think what you really need to decide is if YOU are running your squad, or if the moms are running your squad. good luck!

What about putting her on your squad under a trial basis? Tell her and her parents that since she is above the younger squad, you would like to move her up on a contingency basis. Explain that it involves both her skill level and meshing w/ the other girls. The tell the older girls they can't be mean and see how it goes.

Another option would be to have her on the younger squad and challenge her with extra stuff and maybe some extra one on one to keep her engaged. When she turns 8 she should be able to move up (a bit early but you don't have a 7-8 year old team).

I personally would let the older girls walk if they are already pulling the diva routine.

Well, you are the coach and you are in charge. The 7 year-old isn't going to signifcantly alter the dynamics of your team socially and it's your responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. The parents are upset because the young one is better than their kid!

My ballet teacher asked my parents to move me into the "older class" when I was ten0 the others were in HS. My mother was VERY hesitant because of the age gap, but staying in the "children's class" was no longer a challenge. The teacher assured my mother that she wouldn't allow me to be excluded or "babied" by the other girls. Honestly? They were great. Sure they talked about things I didn't understand yet, but the focus of our time together was about learning new skills- the boyfriend chatter happened before and after.

I would have a parents' meeting in the next week or so and explain your reasoning, but also explain how you plan to integrate the new girl to the squad. Ask about their specific concerns (which you already know) and be prepared with a response. If the parents decide to walk, then they walk. You have a weak squad this year and a dynamo team next.

I don't think that putting a 7-year-old on a team with older girls would be socially harmful, unless she is totally unwelcome and treated as such. That would be unbearable and not fair to her.

I think what I would do in your situation depends partly on your last paragraph. You say that you can't compete at all this year if you don't have a full team -- would this 7 yo girl be the last member to make a full team, or would you be short members anyway? Honestly if you're short anyway, then I would have her stay on the younger squad and not upset the older group. Yes, you are supposed to be in charge and not the parents, but it's also a team of girls, not employees, and dictating "my way or the high way" will not garner loyalty or satisfaction within the group.

If having the young girl WOULD complete the team and enable you to compete, then it's time for a team meeting and a good old fashioned pep talk. Get the girls on board, without their mothers present, and remind them that competing is what you are here for and you can't do it without this younger girl... plus the opportunity to be role models, best sportsmanship, good for the team, etc etc. Good luck!

How is the whole program structured? By skill level or by age? It sounds like it is by age, and if so, you should go by those rules. What happens when some of the Moms of other 7 year olds think their child should also move up to the next squad because this little girl got to move up? Are you going to want to tell them their DD is not as talented, therefore, she cannot join the older group like the one girl you allowed on the squad? Then you are making it about skill level, which changes everything around. Are you sure you want to go there? Making an exception for one girl, even if she does have more ability, is going to cause more headaches that it is worth. She is 7, what is the harm of having her wait one more year until she turns 8? Tell her she's amazing, put her with her own age group, and tell her you cannot wait until next year when she is old enough to join your squad. Then you will going by official guidelines. I would deal with those girls threatening to quit by letting them quit. Don't be afraid to start networking with the girls, recruiting and rebuilding rather than cater to that kind of attitude. I would not be held hostage to threats. It's a CHEER team, not a 5th graders club, right?

This is all part of it! Like Jennifer said , who's in Charge! I've seen similar problems w/son's baseball team where you wonder who the coach is because parents seem to take over. I know we've lost some of the boys for next season because of some negativitiy, parent comments and choices the coach made. When will the girl turn 8. Maybe have a parent/cheerleader meeting and reinterate that you can't compete at ALL this year if I don't have a full team. Team is the key word and they should want what's best to help better the team. I know how competivitive it can get, and parents more so than the kids, don't want to see anyone that maybe even a tab bit better to steal their thunder. But sometimes they fail to realize that everyone plays a vital role and that's what make a team. You want team players, not me, myself and I's...Good Luck!

Sounds like possibly the older girls and their parents might be, though they'd never admit it, worried that this much younger girl will either outshine the older ones -- or, if she flounders at all, they're worried she'll take up too much of your time and energy and take that time and energy away from the rest of the squad.

Sounds like possibly you have some unspoken concern here that you'd lose her to another older squad? Is that behind even a little of the desire to put her with your current older girls? You mention that you need girls and can't find them. Or are you a bit worried that if you don't put her on your squad this year her mom will say no to your squad next year and take her daughter's talents to another coach's team?

Whatever the reasons behind everyone's stances, give the kid a year to be the top dog and the best one on the younger squad instead of making her the "little kid" on your current squad. In a year she'll be older and legitimately able to join the older squad. Just because the rules say you CAN put her on your squad now does not mean you SHOULD do it. And though no one's social development will be horribly permanently injured if she's on the squad with older girls....There can be big social and maturity gaps between seven-year-old girls and 10-year-old girls. If her mom is really looking out for her interests, I would hope she'd want her girl on the younger squad for this year so that the girl has another year to mature, rather than throwing her onto the older squad solely because she's so great. She may be a great cheerleader but she is still a seven-year-old child whose interests and subjects of conversation will be poles apart from those of 10-year-olds.

Also, why wreck relationships with kids you've apparently coached for some time, just in the name of getting this one child, however good she may be?

Wow that one is tough..I would say you need to put your foot down about what is best for the team and if the younger student is a great benefit then so be it.

What a bunch of prima donnas! I hear what your saying about you can't afford to have anyone walk away, but I think there's a lot of talk talk going on. Are the older girls afraid of being shown up by a 7 year old?
The parents and the girls need to understand authority and ultimate decision making is yours. I agree with Gamma G. Invite the 7 year old to practice with the team. Then talk with the 7 year old and her mom. I'd be more concerned with doing the right thing by the 7 year old. Being with her own age group may be more comfortable for her and she may want to be with her age group even though her skill level is higher. Would it be possible for her to practice with the older girls on a semi regular basis so she can continue to build her skills. I would think the older girls would like to have a little protege around. I think the older girls got on a complain about this band wagon and got their parents to jump on board too. You are going to have to nip that in the bud now or they will try to control everything from now on and it won't really be your squad anyway.

I solidly in the camp that says keep her on the younger team. She needs socially to be with kids her own age. Not with the older girls.

My granddaughter is on the show team at the gym and her team mates range in age from her age, 7 3/4 up to highschool age. They do their job and do it well. They don't need to socialize and hang out. They go do their program and then most of them head home or somewhere with their friends.

I think the parents need to understand this girl will only add to the team scores and make the chance of winning much better.

Invite her to practice with your team and let the parents see her in action. If her birthday is within the next few months, by the end of the year, the by all means put her on the team, perhaps you can make a new squad of 7-8 yr. olds. They might do better than the older team. She sounds really talented.

I'm sure no one would actually "walk" or at least no more than a couple. It's too hard to get ON these teams so my guess is it's just a threat. They should be glad to have a little star on their team as it will make the whole team look better. As another person said, they don't need to "hang out". And the 7 year old probably isn't anxious to "hang out" with the older ones either...her friends are probably more her age. I'd do what's best for the team...everyone cannot get their way ALL the time!

I don't get it. Why would you allow a 7-year-old on a team for 8-10-year-olds? Why have age limits at all then? And why wouldn't she want to compete/hang out with girls her own age? She's in 2nd grade I assume. There's a big difference between 2nd-grade and 5th-grade girls -- socially and size-wise. I guess my question is, why not just stick with the age groups?

well that's a tough call. If the team is designed for 9-10 year olds I could see the girls being upset. If you do have her join your team you do need to get the buy in. Find out why they're so upset and try to get some agreement.

Also you need to explain to the other girls that they are on a team, and if the new person has a skill level that at least matches theirs, it is in their best interest to let her join because she can help them win! (or just have her show them what she can do, and then tell them that, although you may not have to at that point)

If your squad is for 8-10 year olds, then I'd wait to have the 7 year old join next year. A year isn't that long to wait, and that way, you give the little one time to mature. Good luck!