Changing Classmates at Preschool

Right away I would start focusing on anything but the fact that she has to go to school without her friends next year. The more you make of it the more she makes of it. I would just brush over the subject all together and talk about how fun and great school is (teachers, games, friends, etc.). Focus on the exciting stories she gets to tell you at the end of the day.

My son is convinced he is going to kindergarten tomorrow (first day of school) and although I tell him it is Pre-K, he doesn't care, he says it is kindergarten so I let it go. He has a January birthday and is nearly a head taller than the tallest kid in class, his best friend is 4 inches shorter than him and going into first grade, and he is doing 1st grade math, so he has no idea why he has to wait another year. In his mind he is big enough and smart enough to go to full-day kindergarten. We just focus on everything but the fact that he has to wait. So far it is working.

She will make it through just fine. Good luck.

I think it is easier for your daughter to deal with new classmates when she's young.
Because my son attended Preschool in another town, he is starting Kindergarten not knowing anyone in his class. He vehemently tells me he will NOT make new friends, he will NOT play with anyone new. I just smile and nod because I know after a week of being with these kids they will not be new!

Mom, tell your child you will set up some playdates after preschool and then set them up with her older friends, this will help her still stay in touch with these friends. Then a few wks after starting preschool again again ask teacher who in her current class she seems to enjoy playing with and gravitates towards at recess etc. Then you can call these parents and set up play dates too. I work in a preschool that is mixed age and we have separate teachers for the younger children age 2-3 than another teacher for the 4-early 5's. It works out well since they are all in one very large classroom and this is not an issue. They break up for "academic" time but learn and help each other all day when they are together. It is an awesome arrangement and benefits all. Hope this helps.

I totally feel your pain and let me reassure you that she will be fine! I consider myself an expert on this topic. i have a 5 year old daughter who just started Kindergarten, but due to my husbands job we have been moving ALOT and she has had to change schools 4 times. We moved to our recent location this spring and she started 4 year old preschool in a different state and finished the last 6 weeks in our current location. Just enough time to make new friends. When we started Kindergarten 2 weeks ago, there was only 1 child from her previous class in her class! I was very upset because that was one of the reasons that I chose the school that I did so that she would not have any more change. She was upset for the first day and that was it. Now she LOVES school and is fine. It was definitely more my issue than hers. Let me also reassure you that she is a creature of habit and does NOT deal well with change so my anxiety was very high. But all seems to be working out fine. Little does she know that another move is in the works :( Anyway, she will notice and probably be a little upset, but it will pass quickly and she will be fine. Good Luck!

I know the dramtics of the friend situation all too well because I not only have two girls of my own but I was also a kindergarten teacher for many years so I've been around the block with this issue. Here's the deal.....kids this age are now forming friendships that they like and that they prefer. This is wonderful but they are still growing and developing socially and mentally at a rapid rate and don't always see "the big picture" very easily right now or they don't look at "the road in front of them" and understand how things are going to really be. Friends are going to shift and change often in the next five years and although you will see some static friends that seem to be there for the long haul, even that can shift at a moments notice. Friends move away, go to different schools, they lose touch, or they drift apart. It just happens. Kids never think this way. They see what they have right now and just want everything to remain the same. If it ain't broke, don't fix it......that's how most kids this age look at things. This is where you come in. Reassurance will go a long way. Keep in contact with the old friends and foster those relationships outside of the classroom. Sleepovers, get-togethers, play dates, etc. Then, in the new class environment, tell your child that you'd like her to make 2 new friends in her class and tell you all about them when she gets to know who they are. This sets a goal for her and is also a challenge for her to move forward and make some new friends. This will happen. Teachers will encourage new friendships and help foster them (or they should be, anyway) and you can do the same. Get to know the parents of the kids in her new class and put yourself out there as well. Often, a new parent to parent friendship will lead to a child to child friendship that you never knew existed! If you see her latching onto one or two new classmates, roll out the red carpet and invite those new friends over or arrange an outside activity to do with them. This will no doubt "seal the deal" and your daughter will have new friends that she can form relationships with in addition to keeping in touch with her old friends too. My oldest daughter is the last one to have a birthday and is always the youngest in her grade. She is now 16 and will be the last to drive as well so you can imagine the stress that she feels everyday.....last, last last. We make a joke out of it now and it lightens the mood a bit but as you can see, the age thing will play out into bigger things no matter what the circumstances are. It's just life and they will get through it. So what if she is the youngest, and so what if the other kids go to kindergarten before her. She can still be their friends and make even more new friends in pre-school. There is a way to have it all but you are going to have to point this out because the "vision" is not all there yet at this age. Besides, we both know that being the youngest does have it's advantages later on in life. When all her friends are turning 50, she'll still be 48 or 49 and have the bragging rights on that! LOL.....that is definitely a perk! Good luck with this issue and remember that it is but a very small hurdle in your daughter's young life. Take it from me, the kindergarten teacher and mother of two TEENS!!

My daughter is in the same boat (Dec 4th she will turn 4 this year). She hasn't discovered her friends will start school next year and she won't but I know she is already upset that she didn't get to start school THIS year. She is academically ready this year and isn't far from being socially ready but by next year I know she will be ready. This isn't just a proud momma talking but her daycare and preschool teachers as well! So, this winter I am going to our school district and having her go through the Kindergarten evaluation process to see if she can start school (I will accept whatever decision they make w/out protest) just so I know I have done what is right by her and not just what the cookie cutter rules say because I know there are kids who start before they are ready just because of when their birthday falls.

This doesn't really answer your question but I think all we can do is explain that although they are big girls and ready to start school they are not yet old enough.

My son repeated kinder because he was too young. At first he was upset till I told him, since you've been there before you'll know what to do, will able to help your teacher and be able to help the new kids who don't have the experience you do. That was it. Knowing he would be in familiar surroundings and would be helping other kids he was thrilled. He made all new friends and never looked back. he saw his old friends in the school yard and they all still played, one or two would say why aren't you in our grade this year and he told them Kinder needed him one more year! Make it positive for her. since she feels she is ready what a huge help she will be in Pre-K to all those new kids!! She'll be fine as long as you are.

We have the same situation here. We still invite all her friends that moved out of the class to her party and she still sees them because the school combines the classes at the end of the day at pick up.

She is 5 in October, so she has just moved into her final preschool class. I have asked her who left and I don't think she realizes who left because there didn't seem to be a big announcement.

I know that some state guidelines are very strict.
My daughter started kindergarten at 4 in California and we moved to Oregon. She attended for a while until they realized that she was too young to make their cut off date, which was different. My daughter was pretty upset because she loved school. Even the fact that she'd already been attending wasn't enough to sway their decision.
My husband was transferred back to California anyway and she went right back into school.
She was always the youngest in her class, but except for her graduating young, it didn't really affect anything.
I have a birthday later in December and had to wait an extra year which had it's own downsides.

Anyway, your daughter really will make new friends and there is no reason she can't stay in touch with the friends she has now.
She'll have twice as many friends.
Not a bad thing at all.

Best wishes!