Changed My Son to a Big Kid Bed Too Early and He Gets down and Kicks the Door

Hello my name is S.. I am 38 years of age and I am a mother of 5 children. My kids have never wanted to sleep in a crib or any other bed except mine when they were at that age. My children's ages are 16 yrs, 13 yrs, 12 yrs, 3 yrs and 19 months. People are always saying don't have them stay in your bed or your room for to long or you'll be sorry. I do not understand what the problem is. My older kids were forced to stay in my room when they were small because that was the only place they had to sleep at all. Didn't have any problems with them going into their own bedrooms at the age of 4. They couldn't wait to have their own bed and rooms then. Occassionaly, like when a bad dream occurs they still come to my bed for security but heck I even need that once and a while with my own bad dreams. With the 3 yr old we have found that he likes us to go into the room with him and read a book. Now sometimes he will fall asleep while reading, but other times he will just play. Really all depends on whether or not the day was exhausting or relaxing truely. He will wake up in the middle of the night and find his way to our bed and to me that's ok. At least I get to sleep and I know he is too! You don't need to place strict rules on this just trial and errors and that's ok. This is a time in your childs life where they want to grow up but still want to be a baby and with the way life is forcing kids today to grow up so fast wouldn't it be nice just to let him be a child and feel secure with his parents then to feel threatened and insecure. Be careful with your choices and follow you instincts you know your son, but honestly he is kicking the door because he wants you to comfort him.

Have you tried a gate at the door? That way he has an open environment. They have ones that you can screw in the door jams. He'll probably still cry, but at least he won't be damaging your door. Also, have you done the shut the door routine for 3 nights in a row? My ped said by the 3rd night they usually get the idea. It worked for me...I have 2 boys. And don't feel bad, I, too, lock my boys door. I now only have to threaten them. If they get out of bed the door gets locked! And yes, my door has been through kicking! Good luck!

My daughter 2 1/2 still does this now. Well she bangs the door with the head of her dolly. LOL, it's how she lets us know she is awake too. She usually does it when she just isn't ready for bed... so like Tracy, I took away nap time, and she goes to bed at night with no problem.. most of the time. :)

It's common, but rushing in to coddle isn't going to stop the kicking, or dolly head banging in our case. We tried that, and it got worse, and lasted longer.

My 2 year old has recently gone through a "getting out of bed" stage as well. I tried quietly steering him back, I tried spanking, nothing seemed to work. Finally, I had an idea. He always sleeps with several stuffed animals so what I did was tell him that each time he got out of bed, I was going to take one of his animals. Sure enough, he got out of bed, and I took his Nemo (one of his favorites). He didn't get it back until morning. He hasn't gotten out of bed since (it's been several weeks). Now, I don't know if this exact method will work for you or not, but just be creative and come up with some method of disciplining your son when he gets out of bed. Tell him what you are going to do and then do it every time. When I was a kid, my parents always made my sister and me stand in the corner when we wouldn't go to bed. Every kid is different, but eventually you will find something that works.

You could also try positive reinforcement. Something like if he stays in his bed, maybe he gets to eat breakfast off of a special plate in the morning. If nothing else, every time he gets up put him back in bed and very sternly tell him that he is not to get out of bed because as long as you let him do it, he will continue to do it.

I would recommend a book. "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" by John Rosemond. It is a general book about discipline and it totally changed how I approached disciplining my son. It helped me so much to understand why my son was behaving the way he was and it is so much easier to stay calm now. I find that Rosemond's methods are very effective. Good luck!

My now 4 year old did the same thing at 2, I had only one crib and her young sister needed it. The thing that worked with my daughter was to just stand at her door just out of her view and when ever she got up I would step into view and warn her that if she didn't stay in bed I would take her teddy, but if she stayed in bed she could keep it. She would get in and out of bed for the first week or so, but after not haveing her teddy for that long she finnaly stayed in bed. my younger girl on the other hand is three and a half, I moved her into a twin about 5 months ago and she will still get in and out of bed. I just took nap time away and she sleeps much better at night.