Change Toddler Room Before or After Baby Comes?

NOW...plus you will have the baby in the room with you for a while. Also, make it stay more HER room, the baby won't care or need much room. Let her help decorate it big girl style. Don't know how they are going to share a room the first year and the 4 year old get any sleep, but I shared one room with 3 sisters when I was a child, so I know it can be done.

I would start now. If you haven't already, take your daughter with you to pick out crib sheets, a mobile, etc. I would have her talk to your belly and tell the baby all about the room that they will share. Maybe give her a space in her room that is just hers- the closet, a dresser, a drawer, a toy box- and tell her that she can put things in there that she doesn't want to share. My older son was almost 3 when our second was born. They don't share a room, but we moved Max into a different room so we wouldn't have to change the nursery. One of the ways that we got him excited about the room was by telling him how he would have his big boy toys in here where the baby wouldn't get to them by accident. It made him feel important and mature :) Maybe you could pick out something new for her "side" of the room, like a new lamp or even paint color? I think sharing is easier when you aren't asked to share EVERYTHING :)

I would put the crib in there now.
Buy a divider to put around the crib.
Try your best to "separate & divide" the room into 2 spaces.
Kind of a half and half idea: 1/2 baby/infant room and 1/2 toddler room
Buy something special just for her side of the room.
Oh & buy a spec gift for her "from" baby for delivery date
Separate the room as best you can w/shelves, cubes, those plastic drawers etc.

Do it BEFORE. We have always prepared the rooms before, so there is LESS change. So far, 4 kids, NO SIBLING RIVALRY.

We always get our kids involved. Our 3 year old (she turned 3 about 1 month before our next baby was born) helped put the crib together. Took out the diapers and put them in a bin, etc. She is a total grandma. She covers the baby. Calms the baby. Kisses the baby.

We also involve them and prepare them for the births, so there's never an issue of being replaced, since they "get" that the baby comes from mom and is an addition, NOT a replacement.

Congratulations! My son was 4 years and 4 months when his brother was born. Some of the things we did to help get ready were:

He took a "Super Sibling" class at the hospital and got to tour the hospital and learn about newborns. He even saw what newborns looked like in the hospital nursery.

I took him to an OB appointment to see an ultrasound and hear the baby's heartbeat.

When the baby was born, he got a day off from preschool for the baby's "birth-day". (Baby was actually born at 9:50pm but he got the following day off of school). Son #1 was staying with my parents and he helped my mom make cupcakes for the birthday party at the hospital and he made "goody bags" for the birthday party.

I bought him a "big brother" t-shirt that I wrapped and took to the hospital ahead of time - we told him it was a gift for him from the baby. When he came to meet his new baby brother (we didn't know what we were having), he got to hold him.

We had moved Big Brother to a big boy room for his 4th Birthday in April - and baby didn't come until August. We didn't tell him about baby until June.

I have continued to have Big Brother help me - he planned baby's baptismal party, he planned baby's first birthday party including picking out the "Pooh" theme. The more involved I keep him, the better he is as a big brother. #1 and #2 adore one another and are in love with one another. #1 "reads" books and is teaching #2 songs and games.

I would suggest that you let your 4 year old pick out all of the new stuff for the baby now - but have it blend in. Have her help you arrange the furniture and ask her how she wants it to be...as long as it is reasonable, do it her way. See if you can do matching bedding - or maybe just matching comforter / bedskirts. Try to not "inconvenience" her more than needed - maybe baby can nap in your room so that 4 year old can play in her room when baby is napping.

Good luck! C.

I would do it now, and have her help as much as possible, maybe even let her pick a theme or new decor, so she still feels like she has some control. We tranisitioned my son to his toddler bed a couple months before the new baby arrived so that he'd be used to it, and not feel like the baby "stole" his bed.

Our three year old will soon have to share his room with baby brother, and I've already started talking to him about sharing his room. We'll let him choose where the crib goes (and thus where his toys go). Hopefully it will make things a little easier for him!

Good luck!

A four year old is a preschooler not a toddler. She will be able to handle change better then a toddler. What about getting her involved in the decortaing. And get some new decor for her too so she doesnt feel left out. My son is two, and will have his own room but I let him "help" take apart the crib and move it into the babies room. When we bought new clothes for the baby we bought him a new sweatshirt so he got something. and I bought glow in the dark stars to hang on his walls so when we hand the decals on the babies wall he will get something to. congrats on your upcoming addition.

DO IT NOW! You want to mentally prepare your 4 year old, and get her excited about the new baby :)

Same as the 4 other responses you've received...do it now!! My 2nd was born when my 1st was 21 months old. When she was 17months I moved her out of the nursery and did up her "big girl" room. We left the crib in the nursery and she got to sleep on a mattress on the floor IN the nursery for a few weeks before it got moved to her new pretty room. Once she was big enough we raised the bed of course! But doing it so early she really made no correlation between getting moved out of the nursery and the new baby arriving.

Let your daughter put her baby dolls in it for now. I wouldn't make it off limits, let her play with it and be ok with it before baby arrives. She'll be fine! (if not in the beginning, then definitely after a while!)

Good luck!

The sooner the better! Also try to get her as involved as possible in the arrival of the baby. Read books about babies and make a big fuss about how she will be a big sister and you will need her help with baby etc etc. My own sister is 4 years younger than me and nobody prepared me for the reality of sharing my room with a baby. They told me I'd have someone to play with so, at that age, I imagined someone like my cousin (same age as me) that wouldn't have to go home! To say that the reality came as a shock was an understatement! Since my mom made no effort at all to include me in anything to do with my sister, I acted out. It became so bad that I was sent to live at my grandparents' house until I started primary school! Conversely, I moved my son to "big boy bed" etc as soon as I entered my 2nd trimester. I made a big fuss about what an "honour" it was to be a big brother and how I was relying on him to help with the baby. My son was 3 yrs old when my daughter was born, so I read all the (toddler) library books I could get hold of that dealt with pregnancy and babies, to him. My kids are now 18 and 15 years old and STILL have an awesome relationship with each other! Trust your instincts and you'll be fine! God Bless you all :)

Hello, I would do the room before the baby comes and have her help. As you already said, this will help her to be ready when the time comes for the baby to "move" in with her.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

We suggest throw her a big sister party to celebrate her new status in the world, invite a few friends to a small party and give her gifts to put up in her room. This will not just get her excited about her role but remind her that she is special and loved when she sees those things in her newly decorated room where she will be the big sister.

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Do it now and from the start put the baby in their for nap times get your daughter used to sharing some space and getting used to being quiet during nap times.