Change in Behavior After Moving from Home Care to Daycare

Updated on June 09, 2009
G.M. asks from Tampa, FL
8 answers

Hi Mamas,
I have a 3 year old son who is an only child. He will be 4 on August 1st. He has been being cared for during the day by my mother who is an ex-teacher since he was about 2 1/2 yrs old. However, I have just started him in a summer daycare program from 8-2 so that he can prepare for when she moves back home (out of state) and for VPK. Anyhow, this week, his behavior has really been different when she picks him up at 2 and until the time he goes to bed. He is having more tantrums now or what my experience with him tells me, is how he act when he is tired and/or hungry. So we are assuming that he is not getting nearly enough food or sleep now that he is in daycare, but we are wondering if this is normal as other children seem to be fine with what they give to eat and with their nap time. My son was used to eating really good and also to sleeping from about 2-2:30 to 4-4:30. Now they have him lay down at 12-1:30 so I am thinking that he probably only sleeps 45 minutes or so if that as I know it takes a while for him to fall a sleep, especialy since it is earlier than what he was used to. Does anyone have advice or experience with this and whether or not he will eventually adjust to this new schedule? As we are considering picking him up at noon in order to feed him and give him a nap at home again. That way we won't have the outbursts and struggles to deal with for the remainder of the day. Any thoughts?

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So What Happened?

a BIG THANKS to everyone who responded. It helped me a lot. Just to let everyone know, for the time being, I have chosen to leave him in daycare from 8-2 and pray that he gets used to the new schedule and will eventually get in the habit of a more early bedtime schedule. This is the 2nd week and he is still having some behavior problems at home but I am trying to remain calm and hope that we all get used to it. I have asked the daycare provider to write down what he eats and how much he sleeps which they did yesterday although I think they are just trying to appease us as they really didn;t give us the details we wanted. Anyway, I have decided to just monitor it over the next few weeks. I don't really have a choice, as at the end of August, my Mother is moving back to her home town and he will have to be in VPK and then daycare ALL day. So I am hoping this is preparing him for that and that it will all work out. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

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J.D.

answers from Tampa on

Every child is going to be "off" when you start a new chapter in their life. Since he will probably be more active in the preschool, pick him up with snack and drink in hand. That really made a difference in my sons behavior. Also - don't feel bad for putting him down for a "second nap" - if he's tired/whiny - then he needs more rest :) LOTS of kids don't sleep in a group setting, one is whining, one is giggling, the other tapping, and MOST of the time the teachers just gab away and wisp around cleaning etc. while the kids are supposed to be napping! Good luck - Synopsis : pick him up with a snack and give him a nap :)

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

No, he will adjust to the schedule. Picking him up early isn't going to "prepare" him for anything. Don't be surprised if it takes a good couple of months before he totally gets into the swing of things. A 4 year old will be fine with that much sleep, but you want to bump his bedtime earlier than when he was home. He will eat if he is hungry and being home by 3pm is plenty of time for you to get what he needs in him if he isn't eating great at school right now. This takes time and you should really try to wait a couple of months before you make changes. He will adjust, my son was the same and he did it with very little problems. I hope he has fun!

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

Based on my daughter, I'd say that they are overwhelmed and exhausted the the whole new world of school. She was way too distracted to eat or sleep or even go to the bathroom sometimes. I think understanding that, encouraging him to take care of himself and keeping a regular schedule will help him. Don't change things around unless they can stay changed around! It will take a couple of months, but encourage him to get his food and sleep for energy to play.

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C.T.

answers from Tampa on

I had put my 4 year old in daycare and experienced kind of the same thing. When I picked him up he was exhausted and he too has a hearty appetite and the first time he wanted was something to eat when I got him. I knew it wasn’t the daycare because they were great, but my son had never been in a daycare setting before. He was use to being home with me all day. I decided to have him go part time (about 3 hours a day) and gradually increase his time there. So for several weeks it was 3-4 hours a day then I did the 3-4 hours a day and 2 longer days (the longer days were Monday and Wednesday) then after several weeks it was 3 longer days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) and 2 shorted days, then it was full time. He needed time to adjust and not be thrown into days he wasn’t use to. The daycare worked great with me on keeping him for shorter and longer days; they actually recommend you do that if your child has not been in daycare before. Everything worked out fine with the shorter/longer days and now he’s ready to start Kindergarten this year. I would suggest you do something like this for your son and see how it works out for him. Good Luck!

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

First- get him out of there. I think we are advocates for our kids- and who cares how other kids act? Your child- he did well here, and not well there- get him out, find another solution- don't try and change you child to the situation- change the situation. k

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Leave him in day care. He will adjust. If you take him out now that is telling him that he can just throw a fit and have his way. If you give in now then you will have serious trouble when it gets time to go to school. Not all children react the same when things change. Just be patient and leave him in Day Care. They are trained professionals, if anything talk to them about his behavior, they can help.

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A.W.

answers from Tampa on

Give it time. His schedule has just been completely changed, and most of us need time to adapt to a change. As for him being hungry, I know that daycares provide snacks and lunch and even breakfast, if early enough. He's probably hungry b/c that time that his program is over is snacktime. Hope this helps :)

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L.L.

answers from Tampa on

He will adjust. My son is 3.5 years old and when he first went from home daycare to public it was hard. At first my son did not sleep well on the floor mats. I let him bring in his small baby fleece blanket at naptime. That seemed to help. He loves going to school now. He is alway running around playing with his friends. I've peeked in on the webcam several times and seeing all the kids play and having fun is reassuring.

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