My 10-year old SD has had a cell phone for 3 years now because she goes to her mom's house and we wanted her to feel like she could call her dad any time (Mom didn't let her use her phone and there were some questionable things going on there when she was younger that have now ceased).
In the beginning she had a 4-button phone that could receive calls and could only call pre-programmed numbers. Last year she got a "real" cell phone and she is allowed to text her friends (almost all her friends have cell phones now) and we do have time restrictions on it. She has a nice phone with a slide-out keyboard.
This year she is eligible for a new phone, so we're thinking of getting her one for her birthday. She is DYING for a touch-screen phone. The touch screen phones are anywhere from $79 to $150!! Even with the 2-year contract. This would be a basic phone with camera, video and texting properties with a touch screen. We will never buy her internet on her phone, she can have that when she has a job and can pay for it!
Since the phone will only have the ability to call, receive calls and send texts, pictures and videos, I think a touch screen is unnecessary. She has an iTouch if she wants to play games and listen to music (She knows she will never have games on her phone because we will never turn on the internet capabilities for her to download them). Basically the phone will have a cool touch screen and do the same things her phone now does.
If she gets the touch screen she wants, that's all she will receive for her 11th birthday. She says she's fine with that! However, I know she's not really listening or thinking about what she's truly getting. I know her, and she's going to be disappointed when her actual birthday arrives, she gets the phone, and it finally sinks in that yes it has a touch screen, but it's nothing more than the phone she has now. As an adult I can see that, but as a kid, she doesn't. And that's all she'll get for her birthday (the other half of her gift is tickets to a special show that's a surprise).
Of course she'll have presents from her mom and other members of her family.
So, do we get the phone she RE-ALLY wants, knowing she's probably going to be disappointed later (and I know it won't get full use) or do we go with the $29 phone that's similar to what she has now, but in an upgraded body and get her some other presents she's asked for? It's really a choice between doing what she's asked for and letting her sort it out, or being intuitive parents and doing what we think is right, even though it's not what she wants.
(I'm still regretting the Christmas Fijit disaster. She wanted a pink Fijit more than ANYTHING else, and I knew she wouldn't play with it because she doesn't play with those types of toys. But we ran around looking for a pink one, spent $50 on it and she played with it for 10 minutes on Christmas and it has been sitting in her closet ever since!)
Edited to add: I thought you could only get touch screen phones with data plans so I was all prepared to just say "no, you can't" but I did find our wireless carrier has 3 touchscreen phones that are considered basic. However, you can get internet on them, they are just not considered SmartPhones because they don't have apps.
I'd go with the cheap/free phone and the rest of the gifts. Tell her she can use her own money if she wants something like that. If she has to spend her own money, she'll decide she doesn't need it.
I know this.
LBC
Why not get her the $29 upgrade to her current phone and maybe a cool colour or something.
I think kids need to learn that they don't always get what they RE-ALLY want. You need to be the objective voice of reason here and do what's *best* for her, not just what will make her the happiest in that moment.
right before I read this I told my husband that I think parents do not realize that when they are providing everything and so many things to children, that when the children grow up and have to support themselves, they do not understand what it is like to do without. And therefore parents are dealing with children moving back home, needing money well into the 'grown up' ages of twenties at times and sadly do not have the ambition to strive for something. I suggest you get her the basics, it can be upgraded for the future and remind her of the Fijit. Of course she will say how much it will be used, but seriously, I am kind of seeing a lot of wonderful parents, who worked so hard to give their children things are feeling the pressure of the results. We want to be great to our children, we want to be kind and care for them, but we have to seriously examine some of this. If I could count on one hand it would be good enough to tell you how many people I see who are in foreclosure or living in debt because they were buying things and trying to keep up with 'all the other kids'. We ourselves are paying off lots of debt, getting there yes, but I now wish I would have sent the boys outside with a ball and told them go play, instead of paying millions for their football, wrestling, phones, etc.etc. that were unused or were draping my sons who sat on the sidelines. Well, guess I said my piece and I am sure it doesn't mean much, but that's it.
I may be wrong, but I believe that all touch phone plans include internet. That is so that you can download apps and such on the fly. So I don't think you can get one that is just a data/pictures plan.
Personally, I agree with you on getting her a regular, basic phone that has a camera for pics.
She's 11. You have a basic phone for her for purposes of general communication. That seems necessary in the situation you've described. Get her another basic phone that fits her communication needs.
Just because she WANTS this touch-screen phone, does not mean she needs it or that you must give it to her. She has the i-Touch for playing games. Most of the time, kids this age just want it because they see others having it.
How many of us wanted ponies when we were children, or new cars when we turned 16? You get my point.
Go with what you know. She might be disappointed initially, but you as the parent know best.
Good luck.
J. F.
I would keep the phone simple and not web-enabled. If the point is communication, she doesn't need to access FaceBook on her phone. That ability just opened a whole ball of wax with my sks and they were older. I would get her a more basic phone and get her other gifts that she also wants. I would not go $$$ because she doesn't need the features and she didn't appreciate what she got for Christmas.
I say get her the basic phone. Unfortunately, kids are in such a tough spot these days. They feel like if they want something really bad (because all their friends have it) they should get it. They are still children! They are learning that they are entitled to the best of everything without having to work for it. It is ridiculous. My nephew who is 16 has a basic phone. He texts all the time with his girlfriend. I said jeez seems like way too much communication goes on between them. He cannot do his own thing at all without her knowing about it. When I was sixteen it was one phone call at night on a rotary phone.....and I am only 43. I think if we encourage our kids to use and expect the best technology then we will have to pay for it later. Keep it simple and keep her involved in activities...less time to be on the phone. Pretty soon they will have support groups for addicted to texting. It won't be the last time in life that she is disappointed in her gift....it is life...and sometimes in life we don't get what we want.
My smart phone was free, hubby's smart phone was free, we have not bought a phone in several years and had new ones each year at least.
We use US Cellular and have the Believe program, we earn points towards new phones but we only use those if we want new phones before it is time for our contract is up and was can get new ones for free then.
I paid $180 for both of our Samsung Mesmerize touch screen phones, they were buy one get one free and then had a rebate offer. So after the 30 day period was up I got a prepaid visa in the mail for the $180. They were free. U S Cellular usually has awesome sales around Christmas and Valentines Day. I would call your provider and see what they have going on that way.
IMO, if an item is reasonably priced and within your budget (an amount you would normally spend on a Christmas or birthday gift), get them the thing they think they want on their birthday or Christmas. Those are two special days, and I think they should have their wish, even if it's not realistic. (Like I said, ONLY if it costs an acceptable amount of money.)
If it turns out to be something she doesn't really use, oh well, I guess that's her life lesson. My youngest has always been this way. Just HAD to have this, HAD to have that. He played with his new Wii like twice, after going on about how he had to have it for MONTHS. But it's his life, and the Wii was in the $ range we would spend for Christmas, so we gave it to him.
Get her the phone. But I agree -- no internet. And I'm pretty sure you have to have a plan to get the internet, no matter what kind of phone it is.
If she were my kid I would get her the $29 phone. She is only 11 years old and all she needs is a phone. Get a cute case for it. Besides, kids are irresponsible. You have to be careful with touch screen phones. My screen cracked. I know you can get insurance on a phone and everything but.....I would wait until she's a teenager. However, if you can afford it, buy it.
Eh, my 8 year old wants to upgrade her phone to a touch screen this year and we MAY do it for her. I mean what's the harm? I don't think that's too much for a phone ($79) and if she is already allowd to have the phone, is the only problem that it's touch screen and not buttons?
If she really wants the more expensive phone,you should offer to pay the $29 you had intended on paying and have her spend her own money or do work to make up the difference in the cost. My daughter (12) and I both have a touch screen. My daughters (not a smart phone) was $29, ordered on our carries website, ended up being free because of a shipping error. I went to Target and was looking at basic touchscreens (no smart phone). The one I got was originally $69 but after checking back a few times, it ended up being a free phone. I didn't have to pay a dime and it's a really nice touch screen. It pays to go to your carriers website and also to stores such as Target, Walmart, Best Buy etc. to look at the basic touch screens. I found that each store had a different selection and maybe the one your daughter wants will be less expensive than you thought or even free. It doesn't hurt to talk to the rep at those stores and say that you'd really like phone "ABC" but it is too pricey and you'd be surprised that they might find some way to make it work for you. Good Luck!
I was in a similar quandry with my almost-11 year old except it was over a tablet instead of a phone (neither she, nor her older brother have cell phones that belong to them. We have an extra cell line with an extremely basic phone they use as the house phone). I explained to her that IF we got her one, that's all she's getting & I'm not shelling out hundreds of dollars for super fancy apple one, either. I told her she would have very limited access as to what she'd be able to download i.e. still no facebook or personal email account allowed for example. She said she understood & was fine with that so I went ahead & bought her one (on a great sale, I might add). I am getting her 1 or 2 other very small gifts & I rented a cabin at a state park for this weekend & she's having a few friends sleepover with us tonight. We'll see how it all works out & if she's actually happy with her choice. I feel like she's old enough to understand the choices laid before her & make her own decisions at this point as long as it's explained very carefully.
