1. Glutino is our favorite brand of gluten free snacks. They make crackers, pretzels, breakfast bars, etc. They are delicious, and your little one will probably not realize that these products are anything different from anyone else's. Stock your home with these kinds of snacks, and don't keep the other ones around to reduce stress for everyone.
2. Another tip: Keep a bag of gluten free goodies in the car so you will have some when unexpected social eating events come up. Crackers, fruit leathers, etc. can last a long time in a zip lock bag.
3. French Meadow sourdough brown rice bread is the best. It's dense, but makes delicious toast and yummy sandwiches. Their pizza crusts are not my favorite though. I wouldn't recommend any brand of white rice bread. It falls apart and tastes like glue.
4. Find a good health food store close to home. Get to know the people who work there, and tell them your daughter's situation. They will probably have a lot to offer you in terms of help. There are many, many fine products to help you meet your daughter's nutritional and social eating needs with a minimum of fuss. It was much harder to find these things 10 years ago, believe me.
5. There are also many chapters of support groups for Celiac families. Join one. You are not alone by a long shot. Being around other people who have had to make these kinds of changes will help you with your grief and concern for your daughter. They will also have lots of tips.
6. Find out which restaurants in your area offer gluten-free options. There are lots, and you can search for them on the internet. There are even gluten-free pizza restaurants! We've had to walk out of restaurants after we found they had no options for our son so try to go to places you know can feed the whole family when you are with your 3 y.o. It is so much more pleasant than getting bad news when you are already there.
Finally, once you get used to stocking products appropriate for your 3 y.o. and you find the places where you can get what you need, it will become pretty easy for you all. It's largely a matter of changing your routines. You can do it. Good luck!
FYI - Spelt is not gluten free. It is not safe for celiacs. Regular oats are not either. However, you can find gluten free oats here in town.