Carseat Issues

Leave for work earlier so you can take the time to stop, even 15 times, to place him back in his car seat. Tell him "no" firmly and pop him on his hind end. He needs to understand YOU are the authority, and he cannot push you around. Right now, he wins, he cries and gets out and he controls you - so right now he is the boss and youw ill have to spend extra time to show him that he does not control Mommy.

At night or on weekends take short trips to the park or the store - if he gets out, correct him and go home, no matter how much he protests. Show him that Momma is consistent above all else. This is not meant to punish him but correct his very very dangerous and very disobedient and defiant behavior!

Blessings

Not only is what you're doing illegal and dangerous, but you're teaching your son that if he fusses enough, he'll get his way.

If you continue to do this, you probably get a ticket. You might get in a car accident...and when your airbags blow, your son will die. And at the very least, you'll end up with a son who will throw a tantrum until you give in and let him have what he wants.

You are the parent in this situation. If he climbs out, then you put him back, and tighten the harness around him. If he continues, then you swat his bottom and put him back in...but never, under any circumstance do you take him out and hold him on your lap. I understand you need to get to work on time...but work will seem a lot less important when you're visiting your son's grave everyday because of your gross negligence.

Some kids simply do not like to ride in cars let alone carseats..

You have to do it regardless of his issues. He doesn't have to like but he absolutelty has to do it. I know this is coming out mean but My ooldest would scream if she had to be in the car more than 10 min on any given day. I simply told her I am sorry but this is the way it is and let her cry it out.

If he does something dagerous like wiggle out of the belt (I am assuming it's a 5 point harness, if not get one) or unbuckle it himself leave in enough time for you to make several stops along the way. Each time he does this firmly buckle him back in and tell him sternly that this behavior is not acceptable and puts him at risk for a serious owie.

The idea here is to be consistent and to ignore the tantrum. As long as he gets a response from his tantrum he will continue it. After a few pull overs where you are not putting him in your lap, but back in his seat he will get the message and stop. He will learn that there are times he has to ride in the car/carseat whether he wants to or not.

I hope this didn't come across too cruel or harsh and that it helped some.

Good Luck... ;-)

The fact that having your son in the front seat with you is illegal is the least important part... the most is that it is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!!! There is a REASON that it is illegal. If you need to leave for work earlier to have time to deal with this problem, then do it!
By allowing him in the front seat with you, what you have taught him is that if he screams and acts this way, then he will get what he wants. One of the most common things a two year old does is test the boundaries to try and figure out what they can get away with. You can't expect him to stop acting this way if you give him what he wants when he does -- he has NO incentive to stop, and every reason to keep doing it!

Hi L.-

If he is just wiggling out without unbuckling, you need to make it a lot tighter. Even if he stays in the seat, the straps aren't tight enough to keep him in the seat in case of an accident. Pull them as tight as you can leaving only enough room for you to slide one finger between him and the belt. If he's actually unbuckling then try to turn the buckle upside down when you buckle him in. If yours is anything like mine he needs to push down on the release and with it upside down (release button touching his tummy instead of pointing to the roof of the car) it will be much harder for him to do.

If this doesn't work and you disciplining him isn't working, find a police station that does free carseat safety inspections. They will make sure that the seat is installed correctly and is fitting him properly and if you tell the officer what your son is doing they also might give him a good scare to help keep him in the seat.

Good Luck,
K.

My suggestion is to buy another carseat that he can not get out of. It is a big safety issue for one, but he is also testing the boundaries. It is your responsibility as his mom to teach him that safety in the car is important. "see mommy is wearing her seatbelt." He is precious to you and I'm sure you wouldnt want anything to happen to him especially while you were driving with him on your lap. He will adapt once he knows there is no other way, but you need to be consistent. Maybe get him a new toy/treat/reward everytime he doesnt get out of his seat or doesnt fuss about it. You could also play a children's CD for him and sing along with him, so he will be distracted from getting out. Hope this helps - remember he will cry to show his emotion but he will learn and understand the older he gets.

P

Mother of a 2yr old and 4 yr old

I had a similar issue with my first child. What I did was played some Disney theme music while we were in the car. He liked it and that seemed to calm him down and keep him in his seat. When he did try to get out of his seat, I turned the music off. He soon realized that staying in his seat meant that he could listen to what he liked. I made a point of not playing the music in the house so that it was only played for him in the car as a special treat for staying in his carseat. In time, I came to know the words and then he and I could sing along together and that made us both happy!!! Good Luck. Hope this helps!

In our family, being out of the carseat was simply NEVER an option. Still isn't. We have always discussed this with our kids, from the time they were very small. We'd simply tell them that being in the carseat may not be fun or what they want, but it was to keep them safe because we loved them. We'd also point out how we ALWAYS wear our seatbelts, and this was thier seatbelt.

By getting to sit in your lap, he is being rewarded for his behaviour in resisting the carseat.

Make sure you have a carseat with a buckle he cannot undo himself, and let him scream. He needs to learn his safety is not optional.

His SAFETY should be your priority, not whether he enjoys the carseat or not. Yes, you have to get to work on time; build in the extra time to wrangle him into his seat.

STAND YOUR GROUND!!!
try turning the buckle inward, look to see if there is a "lock" you can put over the buckle, or tie something over it so he can't get up.
When my kids did this i would stop in the middle of the road till they buckled up and when cars came up behind me i pointed them out, and when they started honking...they got busy getting sat down again. I made it clear that the car did not move one inch if everyone wasn't buckled up, even my uncle who is 50+ years old has to buckle up in my car...My car my rules.
Anyway...every time he gets in your lap think..."Can I live with myself if the unthinkable happens?"
And remember... I am one of those nosey people that if I see a car with an unbuckled child I DO CALL POLICE. It is that important to me. I could not live with myself if I later saw them on the road covered with a blanket.

Hi L.-

I had the same problem with my youngest son who is probably the most stubborn person I have ever met. Some things that worked for me: you HAVE to be more stubborn than him. If this means trying to leave for work that first few times 30 mins earlier, than do it. He needs to understand now that Mommy calls the shots not the baby. My son understands that while we're in the car, he gets to listen to his special Wiggles and Elmo cds and he has special toys that he only gets to play with in the car. Make sure that he has any comfort items with him (blanket, lovey, sippy cup, etc.). Get one of the baby mirrors that will let him see your face while your driving. You could even (and I know lots of people will hate this) get a small dvd player put in your car that would play a special dvd that he only gets to see in the car (I don't know how helpful this would be in the long run though). I also let my son get into the car by himself now even though I still strap him in and he seems to really like this. I hope some of these things help! And don't worry about quitting work, lots of Moms have this problem and we all get past it! Nothing is wrong with your situation and I know you're doing the best you can! Good luck!

my suggestion is to stay home with your son! he's obviously needing you for some reason and it's so sad for him that both his parents feel they have to work full time. he needs parents home with him to meet his needs and to raise a secure young man.

L., I have never responded to one of these requests before but your situation sent me into a panic. I am a 36 year old stay at home mother of 4, ages 10, 7, 3, 10 mo. I have had to do much research on when to move from one car seat to another, which age is appropriate for each car seat, etc. I can tell you that I have an article printed that states, if a child is placed in the lap of the driver and the airbag goes off it is an "instant fatality". Everything I have read is that airbags are so very dangerous for children.
In my experience, your 2 year old is teaching you a lesson of setting boundries for their safety. Children are such a gift for so many reasons one of which is teaching us how to say no. As hard as it is sometimes, if it is in the best interest for their well being, then it may force us to become stronger. Being a mom is very empowering!
My suggestion is to keep him strapped in tightly (but comfortable) in the 5 point harness carseat. If he can get those unbuckled (then he is very intelligent, which is great!) but tight enough so that he can not climb out. If he can unbuckle it, then I would say you have two options, a new car seat with a buckle that is more difficult to undo (and they are out there) or you are going to have to decide a level of consequences you are comfortable with. It can be as simple as taking a security blanket out of his backpack so he thinks he will not have it at school. It may panic him enough to leave the seatbelt alone for now. Anyway, every child is different and you have to find your comfort level, BUT because you love your child, his safety comes first so you MUST get him out of your lap.
Good Luck!

I could be mistaken... However if a police officer catches you driving with him in your front seat, I think it is an automatic child endangerment charge, perhaps even notification of CPS, court involvement in your custodial rights... I don't think that is a normal driving ticket or something settled with just paying a fine.

He should not be able to get out of his car seat, if it is properly adjusted to fit him. Dell Children's Hospital offers a free car seat inspection service to make sure the car seat is installed and fitted correctly. You may have to make an appointment in advance: http://www.dellchildrens.net/services_and_programs/safety...

And on occasions when I have difficulty getting my 2 yr old in the carseat, I have been known to offer her something yummy to eat (like 1 or 2 jelly bellies) that distract her while I buckle her in...

L., I'm sure your family is wonderful, but you're taking risks. Not only is it illegal to have your son in your lap while driving, but it's dangerous!

Sounds to me like your son is spoiled. There's nothing wrong with that, but you're gonna have to put your foot down and tell him that he needs to stay in his seat. If, when you do, he still gets his little butt outta his seat, you then need to tell him that, "mommy's gonna....." do whatever. I really don't know what form of discipline you use but, if you don't - you're gonna have to start and if you currently do - you're gonna have to let him know what his consequences will be should he raise up outta that seat again and follow through on it. He's two years old so he understands that no means no.

Me, myself, I would just get down and dirty (I'm sure you know what I mean). I'm raising 3 kids on my own and one thing I've never done with them, as it relates to discipline, and that is make a promise that I wasn't gonna keep. If I say I'm gonna whip yo' a _ _ if you don't sit down and be still, I mean it! I might not do it right then, but when we get home, I remind them and follow-up. There are times when I take care of business on the spot. It just depends on the situation. My son is 4 soon to be 5 and sometimes I'll put it on him in public so he know not to rub me the wrong way.

As for your husband, he needs to step up.

L.,
if he is that stubborn buy him just a booster car seat ,tell him its his new bigboy seat and he has to stay in it ,,if not you will have to punish him so leave for work a lil early and see how that works
good luck
L.

L.,
This is a true story. I know because it is my story & it happened just a couple of weeks ago. PLEASE READ IT. I hope every one does.

At 7:30 am on a Saturday morning my husband Joe & our son Ben left the house to get formula & coffee. It was a quick trip to the store. No more than five minutes after they left, I got a call from Joe saying that they were in an accident. I could hear Ben screaming in the background. I flew out of the house as fast as I could, though I imagined it was a minor accident. When I arrived, I saw a horrible scene. They had been hit by a drunk driver. Ben was still crying in his car seat & the police were there and someone told me the paramedics were on their way. Debris was all over the road. Joe was okay, and didn't require immediate medical attention. The paramedics looked Ben over & didn't see any serious injuries but wanted to take him to Texas Children's Hospital to get thoroughly checked and monitored. I rode in the ambulance with Ben & Joe followed in our other car. After a few hours in the ER, the doctors felt that Ben was okay to go home. They told us to watch him closely and take him to his pediatrician on Monday for a follow up.
Thankfully Joe & I are always very careful to make sure Ben's car seat is secure in our cars & that he is seated & fastened properly. The paramedics told us that if he hadn't been properly fastened & positioned in the car, that things could have been much worse. For every time I have wrestled with his car seat, in the heat, cold, or whatever, I am thankful that we always take the time to make sure it's secure.
It was the most terrifying moment I've ever had as a mother & wife. In the blink of an eye, my whole world was almost taken out from under me. I never would have thought that less than a block from our house my husband & son would have been hit by a drunk driver at 7:30 in the morning. A quick trip to the store turned into a scary life lesson for us. Always fasten children properly into their car seats - you actually have to read the instructions to know how to do this the right way (it saved Ben's life).

L., find a locking mechanism to attach to your child's car seat. This is a very serious matter, and I'm not trying to preach to you about it, but frankly I am trying to scare you. My son could have been killed that morning if he were sitting in my husband's lap. Please think about this everytime you think of letting your child ride in your lap... even in your own neighborhood or around the block.
I'm sorry this is long, but I hope my scare can prevent a tragedy for you.
Sincerely,
A. W

L., you have received a number of responses on protecting your son while in a carseat as well as suggestions on type of carseat to use. May I address another area in your note?

You said you are a full-time working mother needing to be at work on time. Your two-year-old may view you as someone who is anxious to drive somewhere to leave him. He wants his mother, not a day care where he must often fend for himself.

Since your husband also works full time, had you thought of at least reducing your hours at work to have a hands-on role in developing your son's young life? He will be in school soon enough where you could match working hours with his school hours.

Many of today's children are obviously deprived of full-time parental nurturing during their vital early formative years and it shows. Baby sitters are not parental substitutes.
Teachers in the classroom today must spend much more time just disciplining students than in previous years.

May God bless you, your family, and especially your precious child who does need to be fully protected whenever in a vehicle,

M. T

Hey L.,

Get a carseat that he can't get out of. How important will getting to work be if you get into a wreck and he is imjured or worse?

The truth is he may fight you for a few times, but stick to your guns and strap him in. Right now, he's winning. But his safety has to come first and foremost. I think all parents have fought this battle at one time or another...including me.

Good luck,
D

From Berkeley Parents' Network (this may not be your particular carseat, and contact the manufacurer for additional parts: "My 2-yr old has figured out how to easily unlatch the chest strap on his carseat (a Britax Roundabout) and now does so frequently while the car is going. Although we continue to try all sorts of behavioral strategies, he's just turned 2 and we're not having great success -- and trips can take forever, with us pulling over every time this happens. Does anyone know of an actual physical gizmo meant to block kids from opening these kinds of latches? Jen"
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I know you said you tightened up the straps. You should make sure only 1 finger of yours fits between the baby's shoulder and the strap of the seat. Also another thing I see incorrect with a lot of seats is the chest clip psition. Make sure it is at arm pit level. If you make sure you do these 2 things it may help. Otherwise check out this site http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppcarseats?redirCnt=1 there are lots of people there that know more about seats than I do. Good luck. Melinda
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We had the same problem. I went to Rockridge kids, and Britex makes a snap on piece for this, they gave it to me free. Sally
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While I haven't had this problem with my two girls in their Roundabouts, I've heard of other people securely duct-taping the two sides of the buckle together, but so that it still slides up and down. Then you can just slide the two stuck pieces down so the straps can be lifted over the child's head to get in and out. Heidi
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When my son started playing with the carseat buckle, I got a small plastic cover at Rockridge Kids to clip over the buckle. It is really tough to open! (I actually haven't used it though because my son seems to have forgotton about the straps.) I'm sure you can pick one up from any store that sells Britax carseats. Jen

Never mind being on time. Never mind legal or not. HE MUST BE IN THE CAR SEAT WHEN THE CAR IS MOVING. Screaming is too bad, and I know very disturbing to you. He knows that too, and he's using it on you. This is simply non-negotiable. His life may depend on it. It may take several trips, but you must enforce this. he'll eventually stop the antics if you calmly say, "The car doesn't move until you're in the seat" and put him back in...over and over, if that is what it takes.

Get a five point harness carseat. Would you rather hear a screaming child. Or a slient one because he is dead!!!! Do not put him in the front with you!!!!!Take control. If he screams ingore it. He knows he will get his way if he cries enough. Pull over and keep putting him back even if you are late for work. This is your child's life we are talking about.

My daughter is also 2yrs. and was getting herself out of the carseat when I was driving. It was too easy for her to undo the harness part of the seat belt and then she would climb out. It drove me crazy and it is totally unsafe. She was in a Graco carseat. I had to bring her to a store and let her try every carseat. Finally, I found one at Target Cosco brand it was cheap about $30 and she can't get out. Drives are so much easier. She doesn't like books or toys while driving she just throws them. My best advice is to purchase something your child can't undo himself. Life is a lot easier when they can go into a booster using a seatbelt.

I remember the joys of fighting my son into his car seat when he was younger and am not looking forward to doing it again with my baby, however it's not so much about whether or not it is illegal, it's more about safety. 6 weeks ago we ( my 4 yr old, my 1 yr old and myself) went just to the grocery store less than 10 miles away I had put the car seat in the front the night before so we could transport a tv home. since we were just going to the grocery store I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave the car seat up front until later. On our way home a lady took an unprotected left in front of us, I slammed on the brakes but still hit her and a light pole. I ended up with a broken foot, but the baby who would have otherwise been fine was hit by the airbag. I have been kicking myself for it every since. It's not illegal for the car seat to be in the front it's just safer for it to be in the back but still I feel very guilty. He is fine and the scar is gone now but it has made me not take their safety for granted.When we use to go through your situation it would frustrate me to no end sometimes I would have to struggle with him until he tired out (worrying the whole time that cps would be called due to the way he screamed so much )but one thing that worked sometimes was to promise him he could "drive" once we got to the babysitters parking lot if he got into his car seat and behaved. I had to tighten his restraints so he couldn't houdini his way out of them and you might want to find a new car seat.Just breath deeply, leave for work earlier and know that this too shall pass!

Consider getting a new 'big boy' carseat, one he can't undo himself. I just bought a GREAT carseat/booster at Burlington for $149, it's rated up to 100#s (the 5pt harness up to 65!)and my 4 year old LOVES it!! It's stylish and comfy. http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/product.aspx?modelNumber...

Or leave a few minutes earlier for work, when he gets out of his seat pull over IMMEDIATELY and ask him to get back in, you can give hime the choice of doing it himself or you will help him. Either way he HAS to be in that seat.

Good luck!!

I would adjust the seat harness loose so he can climb in and be comfy. Once he's in adjust it so it's secure. There's a good chance the straps are too tight so that's why he doens't like it. Good luck!

maybe make a fun-car-time and not-fun-car-time. keep a box stocked with snacks and toys and play music when he cooperates, but when he doesn't take it all away and tell him it's his choice how his car ride goes. i'd practice getting in the car and driving around a lot on the weekends when you don't have to be anywhwere so you aren't pressed for time.

My 2yr old does this too. I'm gonna have to get another car seat, one with staps going over both arms. The one I have is v shaped and slips over her head and shoulders, she just climbs out of it. She can't undo the snaps just slips out of harness. I'm just going to purchase another one. I'm constantly having to stop and fix it. But it's not safe to have yor son in your lap. be firm and try to explain to him how serious it can be. in 2 yr old terms. they are 2 after all and may not underststand fully. My best advice would be to get another chair.

My advise would be to get a car seat that he cannot get out of on his own! Unfortunately car seats are not meant to be fun, rather they are meant for safety. My hubby is a firefighter and has seen some really terrible things. We also have a 2 yr old who went through the phase of hating being restrained. I for on would rather hear him scream and cry in the back seat knowing he is safe than have himm happy in your lap one minute and flying through the winshield the next. Sorry if that is harsh, but it is illegal for a VERY good reason. Good luck to you on finding a way to keep him in AND happy.

Yes, a new car seat... please do not buy a 2 year old a booster. If he is getting out of a car seat... a booster is just no challenge for this guy. Not ready developmentally, or physically. This is not nearly as effective and can't fathom suggesting it.
The Graco Nautilus sounds like a good option for you. Walmart, $149... 5 point harness, and becomes a booster for WAY later...
As a mother who has actually buried a child, (not from a car related incident, nevertheless) please don't take unnecessary risks w/ your little guy.
If he undoes the buckle, turn it around facing his diaper, then latch it. same w/ the chest clips. Distraction sounds like a good plan of action here too. ie DVD's

Happy shopping!
J.
Mom of triplets: ID 8 yo boys, and angel daughter

You may have to invest in a different kind of car seat. My son was in his until he turned five and he was not able to undo it himself even if I wanted him to when it was time to get out.

Your child should have no option. The car should not be in motion unless he is in his seat. Pull over if he does it again. If necessary, leave the house a little earlier if you are concerned about being late to work. It is better to be late though, than to have a child who is in danger of disability or death.

If you are giving in to this issue now, you will have other serious issues to deal with as your child gets older. You are the parent and it is your responsibility to keep your child safe.

My son has two 2 year olds and he invested in a dual screen dvd player for the car and it works wonders to get them to enjoy a drive. He pops in their favorite movie and they are fine.

I would recommend you go to http://www.seatcheck.org/ to find a safety seat inspection technician near you (free service) They can take a look at your seat with your son in it and help you fit him in it correctly so he can not get out. Without looking I would guess the harness may be too loose. With the harness on him you should be able to slide 2 fingers between him and the harness straps. If there is more room than this it will not keep him secure in a collision.
If you need any convincing that the best place for him is in his car seat watch the video on this website: http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/saferiders/
Unfortunately while he may feel safe in your lap, it is not a safe place for him to ride.

My son is 19 months old, and has not tried to get out of his seat but he used to arch his back and scream when I would put him in it. We decided to get an inexpensive portable dvd player and it came with a case to hang on the headrest. Now, he loves getting in his seat because he gets to turn it on and watch a little movie. When it is time to get out of his seat he knows that he gets to push the stop button and close the cover. He gets excited to do these little things. I know things can be expensive, but it might be worth it at this point.

I wish you the best of luck with this issue!

Illegal shouldn't be the first thing on your mind----it is UNSAFE to have him in the front seat let alone on your LAP! I don't care if you're gonna be late for work, your child comes first and deserves to be safe. If this is a regular occurence (you puttin him on your lap when he acts up with the seat) he probably KNOWS this and enjoys being up there with you. He has no concept of safety or what's best for him.
My advice, Get up earlier. If you know he's gonna act up, leave earlier so you can deal with this issue. The other thing I had on my mind is going to Babies R US or your local police dept to ask them how to make it escape-proof.
Whether your little boy is crying out for you or not, be the responsible adult and choose to keep him safe rather than listen to him cry.
Everytime I see a mom/dad that has their kids in the front seat on their lap, I have the urge to take their plate and call the police. You're endangering your childs' life!

I read some of the responses, most of which did not offer much advice. I am sure you know it is unsafe and illegal to have your child in the front seat. As for advice, my son would unbuckle himself from his booster seat almost everytime we got in the car (he was 3). We simply stopped the car and sat on the side of the road (at a safe distance) or in a parking lot or driveway and talk about how it was unsafe for him to be unbuckled. We also talked about how the police would be very upset and mommy would get in a lot of trouble if he was not buckled. It took a while (several months) of constantly doing this and reminding him when we got in the car before he stopped. When he would ride without unbuckling, even for a short period, we would reward him.
My daughter would cry in her seat (around 1 or 2 yrs. old) and I would simply reach back and hold her hand. It was not comfortable for me, but it kept her safe. I would hold her hand for a few minutes and then let go. She was usually OK after that. Early in the morning she just wanted that mommy touch.
Hope this helps.

Not only is it illegal, but you will hate yourself if an accident occurs. His insides could be squished and broken by the force that your body creates. Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to be aware of this.

If you're worried about getting to work on time, it sounds like you are already pushing the time limit to get out of the house. Your son can "feel" the tension if you are rushing out and is playing for your attention too. Try getting up earlier, having everything ready the night before, etc. to help alleviate the last minute rush. This will make you more relaxed when handling this.

Maybe it's time to change the carseat? The padding (or lack of) can be uncomfortable. Let your son help pick out HIS new seat.

Can you play music that he likes? It's a GREAT distractor! My daughter and I would sing to her goofy songs, which destressed both of us and created a great bonding time.

Bribery can be a last resort. For each time that he doesn't create a scene, he gets a sticker on a chart to earn (????Dollar Store stuff works great!). Start our small for how many stickers he has to have (5....???) and then work up to 7, 10, etc. This is a great visual. Do talk to him about this and explain the purpose. He sounds smart enough to understand-just keep the vocabulary simple.

Hi L.,

Him sitting in your lap is not only illegal, but VERY dangerous. I worked in an ER once and saw a child who went through a windshield. She didn't survive, sliced all to pieces (sorry for being graphic, but that's what can happen). There is NO reason for you to let HIM dictate to you about the car seat issue. YOU are the Mom, he's the child. Once you let him get his way, he'll run all over you, not only with this, but with everything else. Have you checked to make sure he fits in the car seat comfortably? Maybe there is something causing him pain, a buckle, a strap, it's hot in the sun? Might be time to get him a new, larger seat. There are adapters you can buy, sort of like locks where he then won't be able to undo the buckles himself. You might have to listen to him scream when he can't get out, but that WILL stop quickly when he realizes he can't get his way. I cannot emphasize enough the dangers of him not being restrained. Do you really want to continue to take that chance with him?

Remember when we didnt even have to wear a seat belt in the back seat? Wow we have come along way. My parents were always stern with me when I would "act up". I belive that is what he is doing. First make sure its not uncomfortable for him, too tight or anything. Then I would tell him very seriously, " you WILL sit in that seat and be a good boy". Its illegal for there saftey for them to ride on your lap. You never know when your going to get in a wreck. When I see a child on a lap in the front seat I always say a prayer. It is never ok to let him sit on your lap. I dont want to scold you and thats not my intent. Your child could be harmed prehaps permently because he wouldnt stay in his seat. I am glad you are asking for help with this problem and I pray you get advice that works because its tradgic what can happen if he dosent stay in his seat. Best of luck to you and God bless.

What about a dvd player so he can watch his favorite show?
There is one at Target for only $99. It straps to the headrest.
http://www.target.com/Audiovox-Kids-6-2-Personal-Player/d...

I do not go anywhere w/o the dvd player on.

I am not a big proponent of spanking except in cases of the child putting himself in danger. For example, if my son wriggles his hand out of mine and darts into the street or across a parking lot, you bet he his getting a spanking. A spanking hurts a lot less than if he got hit by a car. In your case, giving your son a spanking every time he got out of his car seat will hurt him a lot less than if he hits your windshield during an accident. Also, arriving late to work because you have to stop several times to get your son back in his carseat is a much better alternative to not arriving at all because you're in the ER with him. Like many of the other moms suggested, leave earlier for work so that you can stop every time he gets out of his carseat to put him back in it.

To prevent your son from getting out of his carseat, I like Theresa W's suggestion about playing his favorite music. Or you might try playing a DVD for him that he only gets to watch in the car. If you don't have a DVD player in your car, get a portable one, but make sure that the DVD you choose to play for him is only watched in the car.

Try this-the car won't run if he is not in his seat. I am sure that you can manipulate the keys so that this is a reality.

You might leave earlier the first time you try this.

Th will be many other things that he will try to get his way about if you let this go by. Besides, it may be a matter of life or death.

It sounds like you have receive plenty of advice so I will keep my comment brief. Sorry if someone allready posted about this. I myself am horrified at seeing a young child in the front seat of any car with air bags. My daughter is 12 and still does not weigh enough to sit in the front seat. I heard a story one time that scared me into being so strict about this issue. A lady and her small child were in a fender bender (not a serious accident) and it was enough to set the air bags off and the air bag decapitated the child. I know this is horrible and if I hadn't heard that story on the news I would not have known how serious this issue is.

Good luck! My daughter wouldn't stay buckled in a shopping buggy for anything and I never spanked her for it. As a matter of fact, I have never really spanked my daughter but I have to say that if she was insistent on endangering herself I would have.

I used to work in the medical field and this is a true story and very sad. A mother on her way to work swerved trying to miss a deer. She lost control of the vehicle and her child was thrown and he died about 20 minutes after arriving to the hospital, which was about 30 minutes away from the accident scene. Mother was fine, but hysterical. She later was carried away in handcuffs because it was determined at the scene that the child was thrown due to the chest harness not being used properly. The mother stated that her son always lowered the clip and would take the shoulder straps off and she said that apparently he had done that and she hadn't noticed. She was convicted of Vehicular manslaughter and she no longer has a son living. Your son is two and cannot make this type of decision. He needs you to be tough and firm and set limits for his safety. If you have to get up an hour earlier to sit in the car with him until he complies so your not late, then so be it, but he needs to know that you are unbending in this. Take him by your local police station and have the officer explain the law to him and how inportant it is to stay buckle when the car is going. Perhaps that would scare him a bit. Good luck . If all else fails and you still have the problem, then tape mittens on his hands. It isn't harmful to him and it will prevent him from unbuckling himself. If he does figure out how to get them off eventually, you still have him occupied enought ot get to where your going before he can get them off. Either way, he is safe in his seat and you have gotten to where you are going. I would use this as a last resort though, but he will get the picture.

Hi L.,
It sounds like you may have already started your journey back to having your son ride safely in your car.
I certainly hope you stop giving in to him. Yes, it is illegal. But more important than that is that the habit of allowing him to ride in your lap is endangering his life. We never know when someone will hit us, even as careful as we are trying to drive. We just can't be responsible for everyone else's actions. And you will not be able to hold onto your son especially if someone hits you from behind.
You are experiencing a problem that most parents have experienced, even me, an old mom whose girls are now in their 20's. As much as I was in a hurry, I always pulled over to a safe spot and refused to drive any further until they got back into the car seat. When they realized I meant business, they got back in. It only happened twice with each girl.
Being late to work is always a concern, but losing a child would be much worse. You might consider getting out of the house 10-15 minutes earlier for a few mornings to account for the time you may spend waiting on your son to put himself back in the car seat.
I truly hope adjusting the straps took care of the issue but if it didn't, please do not give in to your son when his safety is at stake.
Good luck.

I'm not sure if this would work for your 2 year old but when my son was about three and thoguht it was funny to get out of his seat while driving a softly tapped the breaks to where he fell forward or was unstable and that fixed him! Also, I would tell him that the police would get mommy if he was not in his seat! I would also try spanking if a warning doesn't work, somehow he needs to know that riding out of his seat is not OK it is very unsafe! Hope one of these works. The breaks worked for my son.

my husband and I had the same problem with our daughter when she was 2 years of age. Everytime she got out we would pull over and put her back in and yes she would straighten her body and she would cry as if we were killing her but it was for her own safety. She eventually gave up because she saw we were not letting her out of her seat. We also kept telling her of a scenerio of what could happen to her if we got into a wreck.

C. S

First I am going to yell at you...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, LET THAT BABY SIT UP FRONT WITH YOU. Which would you rather have, your son, or your job?

Ok, that said, I TOTALLY IDENTIFY WITH YOUR PROBLEM...I posted a similar request for help when my little one figured out how to unbuckle the entire five point harness! So I have two words for you independence and bribery. At this age they want to feel like they are in control. First of all, start early. Tell your son to get in the car and get into his seat. Try telling him he is a big boy and he can do it. I tell my son to get his arms in the straps and I even show him how to buckle the chest harness. Then I have a little struggle, but tell him that I have to "help" put the puzzle-like buckle into the base, but he "holds" the base for me.

The faster, easier trick is candy or gummy fruit snacks. Tell him if he gets in his seat he can get a treat. Try a combination of both methods...something will motivate your son, you just have to figure out what that is. Again, I am completely understanding your frustrations, and your situation, but there are so many lunatics on the road and most accidents happen within one mile of your residence...it is never a good idea to take that chance with your baby. Good luck and God Bless!