Caring for Daughter's Long Hair

Updated on June 19, 2011
A.N. asks from Green Lane, PA
28 answers

My daughter has long, thick-ish straight hair. It is past the middle of her back. Over the summer, we have just been braiding it after washing it and letting her sleep with wet hair. However, now that the weather is getting cool, I suppose we need to break out the hair dryer again, which takes forever, but leaves her hair looking much smoother and healthier. It is starting to get knotty and tangly as she gets older and her hair gets thicker. Does anyone have any tips on caring for long hair, i.e., which shampoos/conditioners/detanglers to use and how often to wash and heat style (we currently wash every other day)? She is four years old, so I'm afraid of burning her eyes with adult shampoo, and she doesn't have a lot of patience with styling--yet she does not want to cut her hair, of course! Thanks!

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

my hair's waist length also, I've noticed that pantene is more expensive but works great if I shampoo & condition it, I normally can just wear it in a ponytail. my 5 yo daughter's hair used to be about as long & pantene has a gentle formula that was ok for her.

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A.P.

answers from Cleveland on

I noticed noone else mentioned this, so thought I would. I also had/ still have long hair all my life. When I was about 10 I persuaded my parents to let me get it cut. Never went short again:-)However, in this day and age, should she decided to cut it, please consider donating it to Locks For Love. I do it every other year now.

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C.B.

answers from Canton on

I have done hair for almost 9 years now.... when you look at her hair laying on her back, is it straight across or do the ends come down in a V?
if it comes down in a V, you need to get it cut so that the ends are straight across. this alone will make a MAJOR improvement with the knots and tangles, it will also make it look healthier.

if her hair to too thick to work with, then have it thinned a little when you get the ends straightened up, but remind them not to over-do it.

as for shampooing it, every other day is good... but if you can go 3 days in between, that would be best. I dont know what kind of shampoo you are using on her, but for buying it at walmart or where ever, I think the Aussie Moist shampoo and conditioner are probably the best.

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M.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

My daughter had hair similar to your daughters. She has had it cut off several time, but usually grows it back to around her waist before cutting it off again (to donate to Locks of Love). I have found that TRESemme Anti-Breakage Detangling Leave-In Spray works well. She used the pink Johnson & Johnson shampoo with the spray. She's almost 11 now and likes her shorter hair so much, she may keep it!! It sure makes her look older though :(.

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J.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

Bobs are cute :-) Ha ha, just kidding. She might surprise you though. We did bob my daughter's hair when she was about 5, and she ended up loving it. It was absolutely adorable, and soooo easy to wash and brush. Of course she's chosen to let it grow out again at age 7.... you could try pointing out other girls with cute short cuts though and see if she ever perks up. Even a 2-3 inches off the back could make a big difference in styling.

Ideas for long hair ...
my mom used to have me hang my hair over the dryer vent in the wintertime! You'd still have to use the hair dryer probably, but not as much. Also, wash it earlier in the evening so it has more time to dry before bed. Every other day is probably overkill... my nieces have very long thick hair, and only wash it twice a week. She could take a bath more often, but just clip her hair up. We use the Suave 2 in 1 kids' shampoo and still use a detangler too for her -- it is near the kids' shampoo. Her hair is super fine and not too much trouble though. Be glad they have lots of hair! :-) Good luck!!

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L.S.

answers from Toledo on

My daughter is five and has the same problem. I use children's shampoo but I use adult leave in conditioner such as Garnier. It doesn't take much but it definitely helps with tangles and you don't have to worry about stinging eyes.

I also bring the leave in condition to the pool or lake when we go swimming.

I use the spray detangler on days when we don't wash the hair.

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R.T.

answers from Cincinnati on

Have you tried J&J's leave in conditioner or their "No more tangles"? Both work great for our daughter's hair. Have you had the ends cut recently? If she has split ends the tangle easy.
Good Luck!
R.

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M.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hello A., Try Johnson & Johnson Buddies, Easy Comb, No more tears Conditioner (has a picture of a smiling comb on the orange tube). This works great when you comb it through, use a wide toothed comb, in the bath before rinsing. My daughter has fine long hair and it really gets tangled. Nearly every brushing of her hair was a crying episode just to get through it. Her hairdresser recommended not shampooing everyday and try to let it air-dry as often as possible with the damage that heat causes when blow drying. Also, since its not conditioning enough for swimmer's dry hair, I use a better salon conditioner (i love Aquage) as well every couple of shampoos to keep the shine up and breakage down.

My friend who's daughter has thick, curly hair puts it in a high, loose ponytail at night to prevent nighttime tangling during sleep. Her hair looks beautiful when she wakes.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My two-year old has very long, thick, wavy hair. There is no way she would sit still for me to blow out her hair. :) So, what we do is wash it twice a week in the evenings. I use a baby shampoo, but Dove moisturizing conditioner. It works really well with getting and keeping tangles out. Then, typically I'll pull it into a low pony-tail at the base of her neck before bed. If I'm styling it a different way in the morning than it was the day before, I'll spray it with water (so it's damp but not dripping wet) and use a leave-in conditioner if it's tangly. I also use a wide-tooth comb to work out the tangles. It works REALLY well to not rip her hair out or get tangled, too. I used to use the kids leave-in conditioners, but when I ran out I tried Infuseum (because I had some for me). It works really well (and it's cheaper!).

My hair was very long and straight growing up, and I distinctly remember the "before Mom discovered conditioner" phase as being torture. :) With a really good conditioner, you shouldn't need to blow dry her hair if you're not sending her out the door with dripping wet hair. If the smoothness is what you're looking for, you can use a smoothing ointment (like Frizz-ease) to tame any fly-aways.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I remember the beastly hair drying while growing up. It was something I knew had to be done or I would get sick.

You can try a defuser, it's an attachment that looks sorta like a circular brush. They usually sell them for curly hair, but with it you can dry her roots fast. I suggest spray her down with detangler, dry her roots then braid the rest wet.

I hope this helps.

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T.L.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter too has long thick, heavy hair. I usually wash it every other day. I just started using Suave kids shampoo and then I use just regular Suave conditioner. I only put it basically on the bottom half of her hair. I just sort of finger comb the condition through her hair and rinse. I have to say it makes a HUGE difference. We were using detangling spray but it didn't seem to do enough. I'd go for the conditioner.

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L.G.

answers from Lima on

I have a 6 almost 7 yr. old daughter with long hair too. Even with pig tails she can get hers tangled up.
Adult shampoo is fine to use.
The best conditioner I've found is actually one by Bath and Body Works. I can't tell you the name though. It was in the small bottles that are 4 for $1--$2. It did an awesome job though. The bigger name conditioners for my daughter, do a better job than Suave does. I still use Suave shampoo on her.
There are leave on hair conditioners/detanglers. I use to use those in addition to the conditioner that you rinse out.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

The best I can offer (and I had a daughter with a lot of hair!! that matted on her) is the following:
Use a hydrating shampoo if you are going to use a blow dryer. Do not entirely dry the hair with it, get it about 2/3 to 3/4 dry! There are a lot of blow dryer conditioners/protectors out there to use and always finger the hair while drying, don't comb or brush.
I believe a leave in conditioner is best. The best one on the market is Healthy Sexy Hair (bad name/great product) it is a SoyTri-Wheat leave in conditioner. I had half my clients hooked on it when I was still a hair dresser and I still promote it! Clariol has a leave in condiditoner that is pink (can't think of the name, it will come to me later) and there is one in a green bottle that is also good.
I don't think unless she sweats a lot you need to wash her hair that often. Twice a week is more than enough. Our bodies produce natural oils to keep our hair healthy if we brush it well several times a day. Just pin it up when she bathes on the days it isn't being washed!

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C.E.

answers from Columbus on

A.,
Both of my daughters have long hair, the eldest's being thick and straight. I use Pantene shampoo for straight hair on her and Pantene for curly hair on my youngest. (They are 7 and 4.)
I also give them their bath early on hair-washing nights so their hair has time to dry naturally to cut down on the blow-drying. I use the Pantene conditioners for their hair types as well. If you need a detangler at times, I have found that the generic works just as well as the name-brand. We wash every other day, too. If you are careful, you can use the adult products without burning her eyes. I have used them on my youngest since she was around two, because her hair got too long for the children's shampoo to be effective.
C.

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M.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

My oldest daughter has super thick hair. Using a baby shampoo and detangler spray worked well for years. If you partially dry it before bed, you could still braid it without her feeling cold or it being too damp to go outside. As she has gotten older, we found that a conditioner is important, and be sure to put it through the bottom, not necessarily on the scalp. Little fingers cannot get through thick hair to dry it any more than they can rinse the soap out of it. I helped her for years, just to be sure it was clean (rinsed well) and dry (that blow dryer gets heavy fast). If they want to keep the long hair, you will need to help them make sure it is presentable, which sometimes means helping them brush it at age 11 or 12 too. She is 17 and loves having long straight hair, but only straightens it for special occassions - and that she can do by herself.

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D.W.

answers from Columbus on

Both of my daughter's had long hair when they were little. I would purchase several pairs of swimming goggles and let them use those so we didn't have to worry. They had fun and the goggles served the purpose. That was many years ago so I am sure they have no more tears shampoo/conditioner now but if you want to use adult products this works great!

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J.S.

answers from Terre Haute on

Hi A.,
I have all girls as well and they all have thick hair. They all had long hair, but 2 wanted it cut short. My youngest, she's 2 and her hair is in the middle of her back, the bad part is, is that we struggle with tangles all the time. Her hair is curly as well. What I do is wash her hair with the baby shampoo, than I add just a little of our conditioner to her hair and take a pick through her hair while she's in the tub to get most tangles out. Than when she gets out of the tub, we brush her hair with a regular brush. We really don't struggle as bad with tangles at the time, but its after she had went to bed and in the morning when she wakes up that she has those tangles all over again. But I try to take my time and brush through, sometimes I just wet the hair down with a spray bottle and get the tangles out that way. On my older girls, we'd use the detangler, until they turned 7 yrs. old. Due to the fact that it no longer worked in their hair.
Good Luck!

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M.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi A.,
I have had long hair since I was a small child. My daughter says I have had the same style to,she's right. My hair is not thick but definitly straight. I have had problems with tangling too, especially at the back og the neck where my shirts or jackets rub it. I have found that putting conditioner in and letting it sit for a few minutes then when I rinse I don't rinse it completely out. I found I could quit buying detangler to. I use Pantene Smooth and Sleek formula. They make kids shampoos to for different hair types I don't know the brand name though. I find that blow drying does make the hair look and feel smoother. I wash my hair everyother day it always looks best the 2nd day. Did you know that braids in your hair helps it grow faster? Thats what I hear. My daughter didn't like having her hair done until she was about 9 or 10. Good Luck I hope this helps you and congrats on your future son. P.S. Hair brushing is less painful if you start at the bottom and work your way up. It's also better for the hair.

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J.H.

answers from New York on

No reason to keep my daughters waist length hair anymore I just my cut daughters hair very short like a boy

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C.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I have 2 girls.
My youngest has what I like to call BAD DOLL HAIR...with shirley temple like curls. Needless to say to brush or comb it it IMPOSSIBLE. Everything collects in it. Her's is mid shoulder length, baby fine. She is 3.

My 11 yr old daughter is a competitve cheerleader. She has curls...to straight depends on the event. We used to litterly BREAK hair brushs in it. Don't even get me started about the tons of HAIRSPRAY in it. Her hair is nearly waist length, very very thick.

I had my mom bring me some detangler. It is like $5 a bottle at Sally's beauty supplies. It is called Main and Tale.

It is great. I love it. I had my hair to my upper thighs. It was ALWAYS tangled. I started to use it was wonderful. I could get the brush threw it. No more chest pains from the brushing.

I did donate my hair to Wig for Kids. There was 19 inches.

I have tried everyting

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K.V.

answers from Indianapolis on

Unfortunatly, my daughter's hair had to be cut to chin length at 3 thanks to my 4yr old niece's barber shop skills, but my other niece that is the same age did not get her first haircut until the summer after her 1st grade school year. (They are all in 2nd grade now.) Her hair is super thick, and was to the back of her knees when it was cut. She lives with us as well, and getting her ready for school in Kindergarten and 1st grade was a nightmare!!! It would literally take 30-45 min to brush her hair out. We had to style it nearly everyday with a braid or ponytails because it would become a tangles mess. We tried conditioner, baby no-tangles stuff, etc. I finally convinced my sister she needed her hair cut. It made all of the difference in the world. My niece did not want her hair cut, but since she doesn't have to go through the grueling pain of a 45min brush job, she loves it! (Her hair is still to the mid back now!)

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R.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

A.,
One thing that I do for my two-year-old's curly hair is to wash it with a lot of conditioner and just a little bit of baby shampoo at the same time. I use a comb while it is wet with this mixture to gently detangle his hair. This works beautifully, helps with frizzies, and seems to work a lot better for us that detanglers, which are useless on his hair. However, since your daughter's hair is thick and straight, maybe you'll have more luck than myself with detanglers. However, maybe my suggestion is something else you could try if you want to do a little experimenting or if you have no luck. Good luck with your hair wrangling!

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L.L.

answers from Evansville on

A. -

I just want to make sure you know about Arbonne's ABC Baby products, as well as our Intelligence Shampoo and Conditioner. My daughter uses these products and has beautiful, long silky hair. They are botanically based -- pure, safe and beneficial to use. Let me know if you would like samples.

L. L.

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M.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

A.,

I had really long thick hair as a child. So does my four year old daughter. At four years old, you can definitely use adult products on her hair. I do for my four year old. The trick is to use something to keep the water out of her face (my daughter takes a shower now). My mother used a folded washcloth that I would hold over my eyes. I do the same with my daughter and it works perfectly. Another trick is to let the conditioner stay on her hair for a couple of minutes. After you shampoo, put the conditioner in. Before you rinse it out, wash her body and maybe play a bit in the water if she's still in the tub. After that rinse her hair. It really worked on mine as a child. As for the hairdryer. I never used one as a kid. I'd wash my hair, brush it really well and go to sleep. You might be surprised how easy it can be to brush in the morning.
Hope it helps.

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M.D.

answers from Muncie on

I am actually a hair stylist, and a mother to a 4 year old girl with long hair. Trust me, it's beyond frustrating trying to keep it untangled, I have to brush my daughter's hair at least 3 times a day because she's so active. What I do for her hair is I swear by Johnson's Detangler Spray (it's in a green bottle), and we use a 2-in-1 shampoo with detangler in it to help keep it smooth. The detangler spray keeps it from getting staticky in cold weather. I have thick hair myself, and there's not much you can do to make your hair dry faster with a blow dryer. Just, if you do that alot, be sure to buy some sort of heat protectant to spray on or finger comb through her hair right before you dry it to kind of keep it safe from any long term damage from the heat. Hope this helps!

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S.V.

answers from Indianapolis on

Put a little cream in it from pantene pro v befor blw drying her hair

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L.T.

answers from Dayton on

I have long, thick hair and i have 2 daughters who have long hair. I actually found that the Childrens Shampoos and conditioners didn't work so well for keeping their hair under control.I switched to using adult shampoo/conditioner and they work much better. Both girls are very good at keeping their eyes closed and we never have problems with it. Their hair is combed/brushed several times a day and is always brushed before washing and that is the best way to avoid after shower/bath tangles. Someone mentioned a diffuser and that works really well and seems to dry pretty fast. But make sure to put heat protector on her hair if you do it often. Regular tiny trims help their hair look healthy also. My girls get winter fly away hair so I use an anti-frizz spray and that works well. On a side note although I do allow my girls to sleep with wet hair in the summer, my neice was having allergy trouble and they finally found out that her pillow was growing mold inside from going to bed with long,wet hair every night just something to keep in mind.

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R.B.

answers from Toledo on

I use California Baby Very Sensitive shampoo and conditioner on my 4-year-old girl. It is all natural, no harsh chemicals, fragrance and dye free. It is expensive but concentrated, so it lasts awhile. You can find it at health food stores, some at Target, and online, where you can by in bulk. I would just dry her hair at the roots before bed to keep her from getting chilly and avoid blowing it around and tangling too much.

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