Career Relaunch After 5 Yrs as SAHM

Updated on March 29, 2008
A.G. asks from Franklin, TN
4 answers

My question is for anyone who has gone back to work after a long time (5+ yrs) as a stay at home mom.
I loved my job before I had kids (IT consultant), but I wanted to stay home with them when they were little. So, now the time has almost come for my oldest to be in kindergarten, and I think I'm ready to go back. My youngest does well in preschool without me, so I think he'll do fine in a daycare setting. I know I need to prepare myself and my family for the big changes ahead.
What advice do you have? Are there any things that can make the transition easier? What should I do to prepare for going back (I plan on going back to work in 1 year)?
I used to be this put together business woman, and now I ask people if they have 'to go potty' and I wear activewear almost every day. I have loved being home with my kids, but I am looking forward to having a balance of work and family. I know I have some work to do before that happens. Any advice is appreciated!! Thank you!

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

A., one of the hardest decisions I had to make after having my daughter is deciding on whether I wanted to return to work or not. I have always been career focused so I felt bad with wanting to return to work so quickly. One of the actions I took was to return to work Part time in the beginning and I slowing increased my hours; then I went to commuting from state to state daily for 10 months. So I went from slow progression to insanity.

Three years later, I am still trying to work out a good balance between career, family and self. It will get easier as you get started with deciding what will work and what will not work. Keep in mind, whatever you decide, it will impact YOU, the kids and your husband. Hopefully, in a good way.

Lastly, you may want to be creative with returning to the work force. Are you returning to have mature conversations in a professional setting? Are you returning because you would like the fulfillment of a career? Are you returning to do something, get out of the house?

Once you figure your why... be creative. Maybe you can start your own consulting business. Maybe there are some online service you can employ with that will give you the option of working from home because you are returning to work to add more income. Maybe you may want to change your career altogether or take a different spin with the education you have.

I have a business and part of what I do with my daughter weekly and daily is prepare her with our plans. Explain when and where we will be going for the day and why. I often do this to get buy in on her understanding why mommie is leaving for a few hours. When she is with me while I am working, we are together as a team. i.e. she is my assist and after we go here, you and mommie have a lunch date at McDonald's playland. As a working mom, you will have times when your children will not understand your absence and preparing them mentally will be completely helpful as you transition.

Best wishes....

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

When I had my son I went to work part time, 2-3 days a week. I got divorced about 2 years later and had to go back to work full time. It was hard on my son as he was used to spending 5 days a week with me and it went down to 2 (plus I do have to travel & work weekends sometimes). The biggest advice I can give is to make sure your kids are comfortable with whatever childcare you get them. It sounds like you have that one accomplished:)

As for rejoining the workworld, buy some new clothes! You may laugh but this is such a confidence builder for me. If you have a year before you rejoin, it gives you time to buy one thing here and there. I work trade shows so I bought 3 new suits, I got complimented, I felt good, and exuded confidence.

Also as an IT consultant, you may be able to get work from home. If you want:) I had been in my field for 10 years with a great track record, so I was able to find a job where I work from home. This way I save time commuting, can sneak out at lunch sometimes to take my son to lunch, and I quit at 5:00. I work at night after he goes to bed if I need to catch up.

Start contacting old friends and collegues you used to work with now. Ask them to keep their eyes & ears out for any opportunities in the business. Maybe go to lunch with an old friend and get the scoop on the industry. Get your resume completed and ask for some advice. If you start networking now, you'd be amazed at what may come up. Tell EVERYONE you are looking to go back to work and at what position. You never know who just may know someone or may be looking for someone themselves. You kids doctors may need a part time IT consultant, you just never know. Its easy to work it in to the conversation.

Good luck!

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B.D.

answers from Chicago on

Dear A.,

I have been a stay at home mom for almost three years and decided to look for work outside of the home. The one thing that I can tell you that I am running into is that times have changed. So one of the best advice I could give you is maybe take a college class to refresh you on what you are going to go back to work for. As for anything else, I don't have any ideas on what to tell you. Good luck.
B.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Are you able to take a college course or some sort of class? You need to demonstrate somehow that you have put forth the effort to 'remain current and committed' to your field. Things change over the course of 5 years and employers need someone who will be a good match for their company with competitive skills.

I've been on hiring committees where I work and I think some of the worst advice ever given to women who have been at home for a period of time is to 'spin' their SAHM experiences into resume skills (CEO of my household, responsible for financial planning, multitasking, organization, creative projects, etc.). We see right through that and look for recent and relevant experience, education, or growth.

Are you still in touch with co-workers or other resources in your field? Tell them you're planning on going back to work and ask them about which skills of yours need tending to (not saying that you are unskilled, just suggesting you find out what skills would make you a highly qualified and desirable candidate). And, since you have a year and your child will be going to school/care, take advantage of a few classes that would boost your employability!

Good luck to you!

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