Car Accident Yesterday and ? About Neighbors ~Edited

Updated on April 16, 2012
J.H. asks from Collins, OH
27 answers

So yesterday the neighbors had a group of friends over after church. The cars were lined up on either side of the road. I came home from a delivery, parked in the driveway and went in the house. We had planned on going to the movies (a very rare treat for us) and since the older three and I were seeing a different movie from hubby and the youngest, we had to take off. The kids and I loaded up in the big truck (2011 Ford Expedition King Ranch). We were backing out of the driveway, I took my eyes off the back up camera to look down the street (around the vehicle at the end of the driveway on the road). The backup camera is supposed to beep when I get near anything so I don't hit it. Well, apparently, when the AC is on and the radio is on, you can't hear the beeping until it's a solid squeal....which means you've hit something.

Sure enough, I backed right into the car across the street. I immediately pulled back into my driveway. Hubby was already out the door because he heard the impact. I went to the neighbors house to see if it was one of their friends' vehicle. It was. Next thing I know, I have a whole house of "good Christians" outside calling me names, yelling at me, making a ruckus and generally making me feel even worse than I already did. I hand my information in hand and gave it to the man (I hit his wife's car). I called the police while my DH was on the phone with the insurance. The police showed up and said they had to tow their vehicle because they couldn't drive it. (I hit the driver's side front bumper and the police said they weren't allowed to drive it.) The wife starts getting upset because it's the only car they have down here. (They're military and their other cars haven't been delivered yet.)

I called our insurance back to find out if they would cover a rental for these people. I offered to drive them to the rental place and put it on my card. The husband told me it was ok, it was an accident and not to worry. The wife, although upset, was the same way. "It's ok. That's why they call it an accident."

Well, this morning, I was standing outside smoking trying to figure out how we're going to do everything with only one car (we can't drive the car I wrecked because the insurance adjuster will be out today, plus the taillight is out.) The neighbor came out to go to work. I waved to him and he just shook his head, got in his car and drove off.

So here's the question: How do I repair the relationship with the neighbors? Yes, I screwed up. I had an accident. (My first ever at fault accident. Meaning, I've had people hit me, but I've never caused an accident.) I made a mistake in trusting my back up camera and it failed me...that's on me. But I made/am making good and trying to fix what I screwed up. So how do I fix this issue with the neighbors? Am I handling this correctly?

In addition, if your neighbor accidentally backed into your friends car, would you be pissed and ignore your neighbors?

ETA: This isn't the first time these neighbors have had friends over who parked in that spot and gotten hit. They were hit by another set of neighbors. When they have a party, they park all up and down the street and it gets hairy.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I mentioned that they were Christians because I'm also a Christian and sometimes they get holier than thou because I'm not as Godly as they are. (Seriously, I'm not keeping tabs...that's God's job.) It just hurt because if I were in their shoes, I would never have treated me the way they did.

I mentioned the couple I hit is military just because they can't afford a rental (I've been in their shoes, I know what it's like) and they only have one vehicle here in town, so I was trying to get them a rental ASAP.

I got home from work tonight and my neighbor was outside viewing some damage on his new car. I waved and said hello. He waved. I asked what happened to his car and he answered "I learned to quit parking on the road." And he started laughing. I told him I think over the last 24 hours we had all learned that parking on the street wasn't advisable. He let me know that his friends were able to get a rental car. And that was that.

Today was filled with prayers for strength and guidance. God answered and helped me immensely. Thank you to anyone here who said a prayer for me. I needed it.

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

If my friends friend, can forgive her for backing into his patrol car (Yikes!) then these people need to get over it.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

How do you repair the relationship? I don't really see where you've done anything wrong. You are making good on the repairs and apologized. It's not the end of the world. Give them a little time. Either they are reasonable and will get over it... or they won't.

Would I be pissed? No. It was an accident. They happen. You are really going far beyond what you need to do here and the folks who are actually inconvenienced by the situation are OK with it.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

This is NOT on you! This is on the neighbor. I have no idea why he is so upset about it... you didn't hit HIS car. I would give it time to let everything blow over.

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

You make a gesture - a basket of something, or a bottle of wine. You say very clearly, with only one topic in mind "Sorry about the accident and interrupting your party."

You smile.

Let them have their reaction. If they joke with you - great. If they continue to ignore you - that's on them.

You've done everything right. I only suggest the "i'm sorry basket" as the final action you could possibly take. After that, there really should be no worry in your mind that you could have done something different.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

You know what--screw this neighbor. Keep doing what you're doing--don't go overboard to make amends--and let it work itself out. People know that they aren't supposed to park directly in front of someone's driveway. You are doing all that you are supposed to be doing, so don't beat yourself up just because your neighbor has decided to feel silly about it.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

You did everything right.

Your neighbors need to come down off of thier high horse and realize it was only an accident!

Hopefully since this isn't the first time this has happened, your neighbors will kindly tell thier guests not to part in that spot since it seems to be an accident waiting to happen!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

they need to get over it! You had an accident....& that's all it was. No one was injured, you did everything right afterwards...even down to offering to pay for a rental. Danged good job at damage control! I wish more people were like you....:)

Time & patience....& taking the "high road" is all you can do. Peace.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband backed into a neighbor's car (their daughter's actually, she parked, very out of character,on the street).

It was his fault, our insurance covered it. It wasn't a big deal.

My SF backed into O. of my brother's friends cars at a graduation party once. Again, maybe a pita, but no big deal.

Wondering what their church trip, religious beliefs, military status, etc. has to do with this at all?

It was an accident, it was your fault, and you are covering it.
What else, really, can be done?

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Your neighbor is being immature so just keep being your friendly self and let your neighbor work out his issues. Really it's just an accident and nothing more.

The bigger issue is the parking on both sides of the street for parties. If you can't get 2 cars down the road then it's unsafe and you need to call the police. It seems like they are creating a problem and then getting pissed when something actually happens. Maybe if you went over and asked for a car or two to be moved so you can get your car out they'd get the idea that they are creating a problem and fix it.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

From here on out let the insurance companies work it out. Don't offer to do any driving or pay for their rental car or anything like that. It's generous of you but you shouldn't be doing that. You HAVE to let that all get sorted by the insurance companies. If they have good insurance, their company will cover it and then later submit it to your insurance as part of the claim. Right now it's all fresh and new and raw, so the best thing to do is let the entire situation play out.

However, I would be sure to apologize to them. Whether their guests or their own cars have been hit due to their parking habits in the past is irrelevant... although you might want to check into town ordinances. If they have too many people parking in their yard and on the street they may need to have permits. Clogging up the street like that isn't safe. Then if they have too many cars versus permits, when things like this happen you'll have the police reports on YOUR side.

The next time they have a party like this, check for how much space you have based on the cars in the street. If it's too tight to drive let alone back out onto the street call the police non-emergency number and ask them to come talk to the neighbors to make them move cars or what have you. Make THEM responsible.

And in the future, don't rely on your car to tell you when you're too close to another car. That's wasted technology, as far as I'm concerned.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Don't ya just love it when a group of good Christians decides it okay to pass judgement on someone for a mistake that could happen to anyone? The Bible says 'judge not lest ye be judged'. These people are being false Christians and have no real clue on how to put the teachings to work. Write them off as jerks and just be polite when you see them. It's not up to you it is up to God. You have all that is humanly possible to fix this situation.
From now on when they are having a party and their friends are parking on both sides of the street causing a hazzard call the police and ask them to step in and tell the party guests to move their cars.

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

I think you did everything right. It was an accident, these things happen and you did everything you could to try and rectify the situation.

What were they thinking parking there? I'm sorry if that sounded harsh, but I've known since I was about 10 years old to avoid parking across the street from someone's driveway. I've seen way too many accidents, and my parents just taught me to never do it.

The accident may have been your fault, but they should have known better!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would check city ordinances to see if this kind of parking is allowed. Often parking directly on the street like this is only allowed on one side and not both. They may have been at fault for parking there in the first place.

If they have people parking like this again and it is against the city ordinances call the police and hand them a copy of the ordinance and have them make the party goers move their vehicle to proper parking areas.

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D.B.

answers from San Antonio on

First of all, sorry about the accident. My SIL did this to my MIL's car (it was kind of funny at the time) but I recall how humiliated she was.

Secondly, do you know for a fact it was a house of 'good Christians'? Could be the owners are, visitors not so much. And Christians get mad, we get angry and we spout off sometimes. We're human first and foremost. So no one should be judging them. Yeah they acted inappropriately, but it would've been inappropriate if a house of 'good atheists' had reacted the same way.

Thirdly, I would just let things calm a bit. I think the opportunity will present itself to make amends, it usually does. I wouldn't take the advice someone gave of calling the police on them but instead call the police now and just find out what the law says. If neither side of the street has No Parking signs up, people will park on both sides, you would, I would I know, without thinking about the distance between the cars, or the cars and the driveway across from me. Having the city designate one side No Parking would most likely solve it, but that takes time.

Best of luck to you. I am sorry about the accident. I think you did above and beyond here and kept your calm when you felt so attacked. I'm sorry your neighbors were not more Christ like with their reaction. No one knows what the owners of the car are going through perhaps that's what made them so touchy?

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Just wait for them to chill. It is about all you can do.

I would be upset for about five minutes then fine.

I make friends walk to my house because it is too easy to get hit on our street. In my parents subdivision we had cars towed that did that. There are actual laws in our area about how much room you must give a driveway so the owner will be able to safely get out. Basically if you park right up to a driveway and across from it there is no way you can get your car out so it is against the law. No one would claim the cars so we had them towed.

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D.F.

answers from San Antonio on

I hit a car backing out of a drive way once and tore off the bumper. It was drivable just ugly. We didn't call the police I just gave them my insurance info. It was paid for no problem.
I am surprised by the reaction. I am sure that is why you mentioned they were Christian. Being a "Christian" and acting like a good Christian vary greatly!! Sorry they treated you badly! They shouldn't have.
As for your neighbor, just avoid him. Continue to be the nice sweet person you are and don't worry about them. They will either get over it or they won't, but that is up to them.
I agree that next time they have a get together don't let anyone park behind your driveway. Get a red cone, tape it off or something but that is no longer a parking spot.
Good luck!!
Blessings!
D.

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

How many times have you apologized?

You've already made it clear that you're sorry, and the folks who own the car have already made it clear that they understand it was an accident.

You can't make your neighbors accept your apology with grace, no matter how sorry you might be.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

well, funny you ask this question.......just on saturday i ALMOST did the same thing. except it was 11pm at night, i guess my neighbors across the street had company visiting from out of town, and they parked right on the street almost directly behind my driveway. i swear i must have been within 2 inches of that car when my boyfriend starting yelling (lol) .... you are not alone.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I have neighbors that will do this to. They will park directly in front of my driveway. Our streets are a bit narrow anyway and I have a minivan so not a big car. I am ALWAYS scared of doing this same thing when I am leaving for work before light.

You apologized and exchanged information. Not much else you can do. Bet those folks won't park in the same spot again!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

You had an accident. You didn't do anything wrong. You took all the corrective measures. I wouldn't do anything with the neighbors. However, when they have another party I would contact the police and let them know there have been issues with people hitting cars and you are one of those people and you are concerned that there isn't enough room with how the cars are parked.

You could also mention it to this neighbor that when they have a party to find a better way for all the cars to park. Do you have an HOA? If so, look at the rules, there could be rules about this sort of thing.

Our neighbor has their pool service park right in front of our drive way. Freaks me out all the time. I have decided to discuss this with them the next time they come. Its an accident waiting to happen.

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

I'm sure the attitudes in the beginning were just passionate ones due to the accident, I'd overlook anything snide, it's human nature to freak out at the onset of a problem.
I'm sure once it's all in the works with the insurance and car rental or whatever things will go back to the way they were.
Might be a good idea for your neighbor to post a no parking sign in the spot that is across from your drive since this isnt the first time this has happened. Must be a really narrow street.
Time will fix this, so don't fret on it. Just do your legal obligation and appologise, there isnt much else that is necessary.
When ever we get inconvenienced we usually get mad at first but remember that in most cases "things are never as bad as they first appear to be".

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Okay, we have been the person who's car has been hit in pretty well the same manner. Here is our senario:
We JUST moved to IL from TX, about a month before the move my fiance's car was totaled by a 16yr old girl driving too fast in daddy's Lexus at 2am (why was she out in the first place?). It took the entire time until we moved for the insurance to decide THAT car was totaled and we got a check from insurance. His brother had the exact same car only blue and he wanted to buy a larger car for his back issues so we bought the car off of him straight cash. We had owned this car for 1 WEEK and put it on the curb so his dad could clean out the garage (lived with his parents at the begining) we all went in for lunch only to have a simmilar incodent. Luckily the damage was all done to the door/window (2 door coupe) and was fixed with in the week, no rental needed he could take my car for the week, however that neighbor NEVER talked to US again. I was upset and clearly stated "I am sorry I am upset, we just bought this car and his previous one was JUST totaled - I can not believe this happened." The worse part about it was the neighbor was HELPING someone jump their car - no good deed goes unpunshised. I called the police to confirm the report and because he was issued a ticket he never spoke to us again - according to another neighbor. So, I am not sure HOW this is to be repaired except for time and possibly and expeident response from insurance.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You just go about your day and don't worry about it. Let the insurance handle it.

We had something similar. Neighbors had friends over. I had a relative visiting. My relative went to the store late at night and hit the car of the neighbor's guests. Caused a big ruckus at their party.

Just go about life, make a few jokes about 'watch where ya park', and life will be back to normal in no time.

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P.H.

answers from San Antonio on

You are a nice neighbor who made a mistake. You owe them nothing. When they havel a lot of people and they park in your area. Leave the house and go too another phone call the police and let them know there is to many cars park on the street. Are go to the neighbors and ask them to move there cars. Are just leave it along. You did nothing wrong.

Updated

You are a nice neighbor who made a mistake. You owe them nothing. When they havel a lot of people and they park in your area. Leave the house and go too another phone call the police and let them know there is to many cars park on the street. Are go to the neighbors and ask them to move there cars. Are just leave it along. You did nothing wrong.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Give it time. I backed into my neighbor's car (nice introduction!) and took out their bumper. I paid the $500 for the repair and we moved on. I think that eventually your neighbor will get over it if his friends do. You did all the right things. It was upsetting, but not the end of the world. When my stepson hit their contractor's van a couple of years ago, they learned not to park perpendicular to our driveway or let anyone else do so.

Also, go to a parking lot and practice backing up without the guidance system. My car doesn't have one and I hit someone anyway, but I think if you are used to relying on it, you need to untrain yourself. You have found a flaw that you need to be aware of, and backing up to a cone for practice might help. I had to train myself to look for their car which is often in my blind spot.

I wouldn't be angry. It's a parked car and nobody was hurt and it was a small accident. You took care of it. I've been on the other side and know that accidents happen. If they continue to have people get hit by parking there, and they don't tell their guests to park somewhere else, that's their issue. I'd just be more aware of my own driving.

(Now, I will say that when someone who lived a few blocks over wrecked my car, that was a different story. I was so angry to be woken up by the cops at 3AM to be told that some college kid, in his sister's car, literally drove up the side of my car and pushed it into another car. It looked like he'd taken a giant can opener to the 2nd car. He was upside down in the median....he "fell asleep". Then he didn't own up to his behavior so I had to get my boyfriend to cover a rental car for me (I was under 25) til he talked to his insurance agency. THAT made me mad.)

M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

You have done everything you can and more. They are acting ridiculous. I would have to say something to them about their forgiving "christian" attitude and those of their friends. Won't be rushing to join that church any time soon.
I have done that numerous times. I have never had a regular front on wreck but I have a large suburban and have backed into a friend leaving a get to gether and backed into two other people in my own driveway. It is a family joke now.
Bad situations don't make people act ugly it just brings out what is already there.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

So glad things seem to be working out. We all do things, say things, etc. sometimes in the "heat of battle" that we regret later, even good Christians. Any time someone acts in a way that you wouldn't, just remember that they may have had a different set of things happen to them just beforehand that made a little thing seem much bigger. You can only control your behavior and it sounds like you handled yourself very well. It's nice to hear someone accept the blame for their mistake - rare these days.

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