I need to apologize for all of the typos in the first question, and I'd like to add that this woman he was sharing feelings with is someone from his old college. They both agreed that their late texting was disrespectful, but he erased every message between them and told me to just forget about it since he comes home to me everyday. I just don't trust him becasue its seems like he was trying to get fresh with this woman, but I happened to catch him. I keep thinking what if I would have never caught him talking like that. He's quiet, he doesnt' initiate conversation about feelings with me like he's not even interested. So of course I was jealouse to see him saying this to her.
Just because he comes home to you every night does not mean he's being faithful!!!
This explanation would not suffice for me.
Marriage counseling would be at the top of my list.
My thoughts exactly Heidi!
Just read both posts. Why are you still in this marriage? My husband doesn't text random women from college or go visit friends hanging out with women, etc., nor would I allow such behavior in my marriage. If he's not cheating on you now, he will be soon if this keeps up. You can't change him, but you can either accept this for yourself or not. Which is it going to be?
Coming home to you every night means that with you is where he sleeps. People like to use that as a good reason that your spouse won't cheat on you--"He married YOU" or "He comes home to YOU at night", so your'e supposed to forget about what all he's doing when he's away from home? I don't think that you should just jump ship based on what you've said here, but I do think that you should get some counseling and get the two of you on the same page. When he has committed an offense to you and to your marriage, he doesn't get to decide when or how you "get over it". That's not somebody who's really sorry to have hurt you and who is willing ot do whatever it takes to make it right again. That is somebody who doesn't want to deal with what he's done, who wants to act like it never happened. We would all like to think that our SOs just love us so much that they would never.... In real life, what we know as love doesn't show up in every single moment, and we have to count on less abstract and more selfish deterrents to tide us over, like avoiding shame. Part of what keeps us from committing certain offenses is the shame of being caught and having to have it addressed by the loved one who's been offended, or even having others know what we've done. If he never feels that as part of the consequence, then there isn't much incentive not to do it again. Oh, except for that love.
He will keep coming home to you...until the day he doesn't. I've seen it happen time and time again with friends and family.
I'm not saying you need to throw in the towel but if he really thinks you can just pretend it didn't happen, he's lost his mind. This is a marriage-counseling-required scenario.
