My son is 28 mnths old. We do not co-sleep with him,never have, and he has always had his own bed, in which he has never before had a problem sleeping in. About 2 mnths ago he started climbing out of his crib and coming out of his room after I put him down for the night. So I figured it was time for a big boy bed. We explained to him about the big boy bed and he helped put it together and was excited about it for about a week. Then he would climb out of that, and when he would come out of his room he would say he wants to sleep in mama's bed. I would reiterate the big boy bed and he still keeps coming out saying he wants to sleep in mamas bed. It has now gotten to the point that I have to lock him in his room until he cries himself to sleep, then I open his door for when he wakes up in the morning. In the last week he has been getting up in the middle of the night and coming into my room and wants to sleep in mama's bed. I have to take him back to his room and lock him in until he cries himself to sleep yet another time. I feel horrible locking him in there, but i dont know what else to do to make him realize he needs to go to bed at night!!
Thank you for all your help, and reassuring me I am not the most horrible mom for locking him in his room! Mason is doing great now. I tell him it is time to go to bed, we read a story and he goes right in his room!
My 2 1/2 year old has been doing this for about 6 mos. Honestly this isnt gonna solve your priblem but I figure in 10 years I'm gonna wish he was little again, and that he was around more, and that I could cuddle with him so while I see the importance of this I know he's gonna grow out of it sooner than I know it!! So I'm taking advantage of it while I can!!
I would highly recommend the "Supernanny" book for you. I am usually sceptical of advice on how to raise a child but after reading the book, I really feel that it is an excellent resource for parents of young children. She has an entire chapter on bedtime and she addresses all of the problems you mentioned. Her ways of dealing with children are very firm yet gentle and spot on in my opinion. Plus, she offers alot of other good advice for other issues that you are probably facing now or will face at some point. You might even be able to get it at the library if you don't feel like buying it.
With my son, simply sending him back to bed when he got up didn't seem to have any effect on him. So, I explaned to him that every time he got up I was going to take one of his toys away (I hid it away where he couldn't get it). Every night that he stayed in bed without getting up, he would get a toy back. For about a month he had no toys except his special bear and the 2 books that I allowed him to keep. Finally, he got sick of it and decided to start staying in his bed. I haven't had any problems since. You might not need to go to such drastic measures with your son yet, but my advice to you is no matter what you decide to do just to stay firm and consistent. In a book by John Rosemond (who I also recommend) he said something to the effect that in disciplining your child it is not as important what you do but that you do it consistently. Once your son sees that you aren't going to budge, he will stay in his bed.
I am so glad I am not the only one having this problem. After much trial and error we have come up with what my parents did when I was a child, we have created a little bed on the ground in our room and if she feels the need she can come sleep on the ground and that seems to be working very well. She will grow out of it and I think some of her problem is that she is having to share time with mommy and the baby so at night is the only time she has mommy alone even if mommy is sleeping.
Good Luck
A.
www.romance2nite.com
J.,
I just entered my own son, 20 months, into a toddler bed about a month ago. We put him to bed at the same time every night, with a routine to help let him know that it is "night-night" time (brushing his teeth, changing into jammies, etc.) Unless he's absolutely exhasted, he won't lay dow right away, but we have his bedroom gated off so that we don't have to have the door closed, but he can't get out. He will usually cry for about 10 min, then he crawls into the bed, pulls up his blanket, and he's out for the night.
Also, his bedroom is for sleeping and stories only. Only his soft toys are in there, and there's nothing plugged in any outlets, so we feel better about him being in there all night. Once the new baby is born, her crib will be put in there, as well, and the rule will be the same, that room is for sleeping.
Sometimes, you just have to stand your ground and give a little tough love. You are the mom, after all. Reasoning doesn't usually work on toddlers, so you have to be confident in your decisions and not faulter. And just know that him crying himself to sleep is not going to hurt him. I still feel a guilty twing every now and then when Robby does, but ultimately, I know he's ok, and that he'll greet me with a smile in the morning.
Hi J., I can relate to your problem. We had the best sleeper ever with my little boy until 2 he did exactly what yours is doing. However I am happy to report that he now goes to sleep better and I don't have to lock him in his room every night to go to sleep(still every once in a while). He has stopped coming into my room all hours of the night and climbing into bed with us for the most part. we still have some "bad" nights but just stick with putting him in his own bed and don't give in to him wanting in yours! It took about a week to 2 weeks to finally have him stay through the night in his own bed. Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Stick with it he is just testing his boundaries and being 2 :) Good luck
E.
hi J., i have a daughter who is going into her terrible 2.i understand what you are going through. Staying in the room with him until he falls asleep, it will be hard at first it usually takes about 2to3 weeks before he gets use to it. everytime he gets up in the night put him back in his room, tell him mommy is right next door and you will see him in the morning, you will have to do that for a while but it is worth it.Asure him he is not alone leave the door open then you could gragually close it when he get used to his bed.good luck
