Can Your Husbnad Balance the Check Book?

Updated on April 09, 2011
A.G. asks from Albuquerque, NM
22 answers

My husband is a pretty smart guy. In no way do i think he is unintelligent. However he can not balance the check book to save his life, and it makes me nuts!
Last night he did the check book and tells me the bank has one amount, the checkbook register its self has a differant amount and this excel spread sheet he uses has yet a differant number. So this morning i get online and look at the bank and they are showing more than $500 less than what my husband said we had available. So i called him and asked him if he included several transactions that were going to go thru today. He said he did. We live paycheck to paycheck so a $500 differance is a big deal and could mean bounced checks. Im so frustrated with him right now. Any other mamas out there have to take total control of the checkbook? I really dont want to but im thinking i have too :(

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So What Happened?

thanks ladies.... im glad my hubby is not the only one who isnt good with money. Heres the part that i just cant figure out, his dad is a cpa, has worked for the irs & nm tax & rev, his mom is a math teacher so hes always had a lot of help with numbers. He works as a car salesman and is learning how to do finance. How in the heck he can do all that but not keep the checkbook is beyond me.

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D.K.

answers from Phoenix on

My husband is kinda the same way except he can balance it but he will do an inquiry as to how much is in the account & gets all excited oh we have this amount & then I look & he didn't take into consideration that he used his card & things haven't cleared yet.. It is frustrating so I do have total control over the account he has a certain amount that goes into another account for him to spend but the major account I do.. Good Luck

N.R.

answers from Boston on

NO!!!!
But I'm ok with that. This way he doesn't see my shopping sprees.
We are both spenders but when he spends it's tens of thousands of dollars....quads, jetskis. So when we have money I don't want him to know.
:)

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

oh my gosh - with ya here. It's just "amazing" to me that someone can't realize there is a different number in the checkbook than online due to checks not yet clearing, etc. It's as if it's over their head. I try to be understanding but it really annoys me!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Not only can he NOT balance a checkbook, I wouldn't let him near it for anything in the world. He's sooooo bad with money. If he has a $20 bill and buys a dollar pack of gum, the rest of that 20 is GONE with nothing to show for it. He's awful at finances. I literally had to put him on a weekly allowance. The security of knowing for sure of what's in the bank is worth the frustration of doing the money stuff myself.

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

My husband just retired from the Marine Corps. He was in charge of million dollar equipment, could lead troops into battle knowing complex information. Can he pay the bills and balance a check book? Nope! Kills me!

We ended up in debt because of him. Years ago when he was a low rank and he'd be on ship for months he'd make less money (before they started paying hardship type pays) and I'd have to let a bill go here and there because our children would need shoes or food to eat. So when he'd get home and ask why something was behind in payment I'd explain to him why and he wouldn't get it. So I handed everything over to him, wrote down when and how to pay things, and told him to do the bills for the following month. Well, he screwed us up so much that the credit bureau listed us as demons! I've been digging us out of this mess for years and we've finally come to the point that our credit rating is finally good, just in time for retirement and starting a new career.

Do you know what my husband did after retiring from the military and starting a new job? Opened a Kohl's card and racked up over $600 in dress clothes and didn't tell me about it! He also went hog wild and bought a $200 single serve coffee pot and all the accessories! Um, we just moved from my brother's house after 2 months of no income transitioning from the military and he's racking up bills? We haven't had a credit card or store credit card in YEARS and now we're bogged down again. He doesn't understand that we just can't pay it off in full cuz we do have to pay rent!

It still baffles me how otherwise intelligent men who will make you feel stupid for not understanding the complexities of their job cannot balance a check book or understand the simplicities of household bills.

This is why he is not allowed access to his debit card or even our bank account at times (like a child) unless he can control himself. Needless to say, he has to ask me for money right now or packs a lunch or he goes hungry at work. You screw the pooch, you pay the price!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

yep. mine can balance his checkbook, but doesn't get the whole 'going negative' thing. ex. if he knows he only has $15 left, he'll go buy something for $20, cuz he knows that his paycheck is being deposited that day. Problem with that is that the paycheck doesn't get credited til midnight. However, the $20 charge gets credited in the afternoon, sending him negative and get a $35 overdraft fee.

1 mom found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

My hubby is absolutely wonderful with money and balancing our accounts, etc. I am fortunate in that area! Takes a lot of stress off of me. Talk to hubby about it - he may very well willingly hand it over! Try to not sound condescending just in case it is a pride thing with him. Just try putting yourself in his shoes and think how you would want to be approached by him. (I am sure you would do this anyway, I just know sometimes I need a reminder not to say "hey stupid....." LOL).

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Redding on

Our situation is a little unique. I am an Accountant and hubby is an Auditor. We both work together to manage the finances. I like it better this way because I have many friends who manage it alone and there is always things that are purchased in "secret" from their spouse. It seems that it causes more stress and issues when you don't share the responsibility.

My check goes into savings and all set bills (mortgage, insurance, car payments, kids tuition, etc) comes out automatically. the rest is growing our savings account. I also manage our rental property account. but both of these accounts do everything automatically, I just monitor to make sure its working correctly.

My husband's check goes into checking and he tracks everything for that. It pays our utilities, credit card (only have 1), doctor bills, and all other living expenses. There is a lot of activity in this account. He manages all of it.

Our money definitely isn't "seperate", its all ours together, we just put it in different accounts in order to manage payments going out. We don't have a "check book" like most people. We only write 1 actual check a month and all reciepts are entered in to a spreedsheet. We don't have a hand written register like most people.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Once I quit my job 11 years ago to be a full time SAHM, I took over the finances. All of them, including paying the bills and balancing the check book. Yes, my husband can balance a check book but he doesn't like doing it, nor does he like paying the bills. He always comes back to me saying ,"how much do you usually put on this bill, or how much can we afford to put on this bill." I have given him the check book from time to time when he complained that he wanted to know where the money was going. I said, "Here, you do it and you'll see for yourself." He didn't like it, told me I was much better at managing the finances, and so I've been doing it for 11 years. I don't mind it, in fact, I love doing it...except when he forgets to give me a receipt from a checkcard purchase. He's getting better at remembering but he still forgets from time to time. Our bank has another account linked to our checking account so that we will never bounce anything. The money to cover the check or transaction amount is immediately pulled from the other account. It's a safety net and worth having to avoid the embarrassment of having insufficient funds.

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R.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I have to do all the finances in our house. My husband has no clue when it comes it money. I pay all the bills and balance the accounts. It really makes me mad when he uses the credit card and doesn't tell, he says he doesn't tell me because he doesn't want me to get mad......DUH, I pay the bill.

Anyway, I suggest you purchase Quicken, it's a great tool to help balance accounts and will save you alot of time.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

My husband is practically a genius, but can't figure out why it's not important to enter the checks in the checkbook or balance the darn thing. When we got married, I took it over because he didn't care/worry about it. We had fights about it, because I would get so stressed out by it (and his lack of concern would make me very angry, especially when I thought it was important, and I was stressing about having enough money to cover the bills!)...

So I totally feel your pain.

I handle all the checks (writing them, etc.) and the check balancing. Yes, I'm not the best at math but it's better than it not getting done at all.

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L.G.

answers from Phoenix on

We use a program called "quicken". It is so simple anyone can use it. You can download all your bank statements and credit cards on in too. Another feature i like on it is the "find" button. If i want to see all purchases to somewhere i put the place in the blank, press "find all" and a list is generated. I'm having issuses with my dishwasher now, and couldn't remember when i purchased it. With the find button i found that it had only been 9 years ago and the warantee is for 10. So helpful before i called the serviceman.
My husband use to balance the checkbook years ago but it was too stressful for me, i took it over. I write all the checks and record the deposits. He though, physically goes to the bank and does the deposits and withdrawals.

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

Hubby handles our finances. Lol. I have absolutely no head for numbers... my version of 'balancing' my accounts is to keep a rough estimate of how much I should have, and calling the automatic bank thing. If the numbers are close, great! If not, I rack my brain trying to figure out where the heck my money went. I can usually figure it out... but it just works better if hubby takes care of it. He actually keeps track of receipts and everything... Of course, I take care all the spiders, mice, and snakes in the house... so it evens out. LOL!

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M.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

My hubby doesn't even touch the checkbook! He didn't even have a bank account until we got married. I have to tell him to give me reciepts for gas or whatever and he says, why can't you just keep it in your head? Yeah right!
I think men just aren't good with that. I worked as a temp at a bank for a while and this one guy owned a construction company and he couldn't even reconcile his own checkbook, he'd have me do it whenever he came in.

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A.D.

answers from Eau Claire on

Oh yeah, my husband is extreamly smart but for some reason when it comes to the bills and check book he just can't do it. We have only been together for 6 years but within the first year I had all control of where money goes and balancing. I also figure he deals going to work and with the stress of getting the money while letting me be a stay at home mom so its nice to take some stress off him.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

We do not balance our checkbook, we do however check our bank account online or when passing the bank before any purchase (bills, grocery shopping, basic supplies, and so on). For us having more then ONE place to put down what is spent is confusing, that means you have more places to keep in order. Hence why we always go with checking online or at the bank because they for sure know what we have :) We both know the amount being paid bill wise, so that there is no over spending.

With that some people are great at balancing, finances and numbers, while others struggle. If you need to keep tabs on every penny then one of you are going to need to be on top of the checkbook if the other is not so great at it. I would not say that only one can pay the bills or grocery shop but the other has to tell or write down the check or hand over the recipt of what was paid/spent.

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

My husband doestn't do anything with the money. He used to pay the house payment, but not that we just refinanced he won't have to do that any more either. He asks how much we have and I tell him. He never touches any of our check books.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you summed it up well yourself - your husband sells cars....he's probably very social, and focusing on numbers is not his strong suit. Best you slowly take over balancing the check book and keeping him in on how it works.

Both my husband and I can balance check books. He can manage it down to the penny. Me, never. If I'm within $10-20 I just go by what the banks says. I had a neighbor once, spend the entire day frustrated scouring their bank statements trying to reconcile like $1.75....I thought, really?? I can think of better ways to spend my time.

I quit one restaurant book keeping job due to that insane math rule about balancing everything to a penny. I thought, sh*t, one morning when I couldn't get the sheets to balance and I was one penny off....just throw a penny into the pot....but they wouldn't allow it....so I quit.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Get duplicate (carbon copy) checks so you automatically have a record of every check you both write.

You don't have to be "in control" of the checkbook, but you might have to be the one who balances it if you want to avoid paying for bounced checks.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't know that I HAVE to, but I do it. We decided that when we first got married, 14 years ago. I've been taking care of the books/bills ever since. Often times, men are just not as detailed oriented as women. Or at least the ones that I know... my dad probably being the exception.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

NO. We tried several years ago to have him take it over and it just did not work out. I pay most of the bills. He has his own checking account for his money but I get money from him for bills and pay things out of my account so that everything is taken care of. We have a joint savings but our own checking.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I manage the personal and business checkbook. However, my hubby is very much a financials man. He does not even have to use a calculator and he is correct.

Due to the nature of our business, I run balances and reconcile several times a week on both accounts because he is on the road a lot and it works best for me to have it hands on.

We are both very involved with banking and financials. He has an accounting degree undergrad and MBA from Duke. I have a business degree so we work well together on finances.

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