Calling All Moms with Busy Toddler Boys!

I also have a very active 2 year old. It is very trying to go to the grocery store or run errands with him but sometimes necessary. I try to bring small snack cups of goldfish or cheerios with lids that make it just a little difficult to get out which keeps him occupied for a little while. He always wants to go outside so as much as possible we let him run his energy off there only problem is he usually wants to drag me along behind him. Oh well, guess I need the exercise too! Good luck to all of us!

You might as well be describing my neighbor's son! We all marvel at her and her unending patience. so no, you're not alone and he's not an abnormal challenge... just wait, he'll probably be the perfect teen!
Keep taking deep breaths and try to shop alone... I wish you the best!

B.,
My son is 16 months and it sounded like you were describing my son to a T! It is a huge nigthmare at times to get errands done. I find letting him outside as much as I can really helps his behavior issues. He loves to be outside so, weather permitting, I keep him there as much as I can. Not only does it help his behavior and my sanity he sleeps better too! And I'm told that is just how boys with active imaginations are! Good luck and try to keep your sanity!
The zookeeper of Joseph

Hi. I have two boys ages 5 and 3. The older one was wonderful out in public and the second one was not. At two years old, bribing is not the answer. They don't really understand. At home, you need to sit him in a corner when he climbs on the table, won't sit and eat etc..The first days of this will be hard. He will get up and you need to sit him back down until he sits.

At the store, just ignore him. Strap him in and start humming to yourself. Yeah it will be stressful and he will get worse for a few times, but then he will start calming down. Andrew and Braden are just regular kids and talk back and drive me crazy but they always get comments on how good they are in the store. My routine is we go in the store get a few things on the list and then go to the toys to "look". They DO NOT GET A TOY. We then say bye bye to the toys and then get the rest of the stuff. The first few times we looked at toys they screamed to have one and I told them that if they continued this that we would never look at toys again. They stopped and we now look.

I'm sorry this is so rambly but I just wanted to get my point across. Be firm, you have to be.

I "teach" 1 and 2 year olds at the preschool that my children attend and one little boy spends 3/4 of his time in the naughty chair because his parents (by their own admission) thought it was funny when he took things away and hit them and talked back. They were not firm because they didn't want to be firm and thought he would grow out of it....

K.

He's what is called a "strong-willed child". My oldest boy of 3 boys is EXACTLY like that. He's six years old now and is no different (sorry) after all of our years of trying anything and EVERYTHING. I finally had to bring him home from school and homeschool him because he was constantly coming home with notes saying he's always out of his seat or he keeps leaning back on his chair or climbing on the table...He even started tying his and his friends' shoes to the table and even cutting holes in his pants (that was because of boredum during literacy time, though), and he went to pre-k, so he knew what was expected out of him, but the same problems then even. Despite ALL of our efforts, he's the same as when he was 1yr old but just a LOT smarter. He's extremely advanced too, and a larger portion of strong willed children are. All I can tell you is to be creative with your punishments and try to find punishments that fit the crimes. Once, and this actually worked, I'd gotten SO fed up with my son not being still when we'd go out to eat. So, after having enough of it and exhausted from fussing at him one Sunday, I took his chair away completely added an extra table to our table and put him on the far edge of the other table away as far away from us as we could but not on the end where he would be looking at us the whole time. I told him that if he wanted to eat with the family then he had to learn HOW to eat with the family and I wasn't putting up with it anymore. He ate like that the whole meal (even though I truly didn't think it'd bother him), he was REALLY bothered by that. People were staring at me for making my child stand away from us the whole entire meal, but it worked. Also, when he was 3, he choked one of his friends in preschool and my husband made him eat chicken noodle soup and water every meal for 3 days while we ate all of his favorites. My husband told him that he made that little girl's throat hurt and that she was probably having to eat that, so he had to too. That actually worked too. He never choked anyone again (Long story why he choked, but it was his aunt who taught him that a few days earlier...not doing it to him but showing him how to do it...idiot). You just have to get really creative with those kids, but it gets harder as they get older and THEY come up with more creative things to do.
Fortunately, he's my sweetest, most helpful young'n of all...He'd have to be. I just wouldn't know what to do if he was like he is AND ugly and nasty all of the time (Though, he does have his moments, and btw, he is VERY destructive because of his constantly flipping, jumping, running, etc...broken pipes, broken windows, broken entertainment center, couch, etc...) Good Luck! Love on him as much as you can because that's what will help you keep your sanity the most, and the days will fly by SO fast you'll be wondering how in the world he turned 6 all of a sudden.

K.
SAHM of 4 (3 boys 6, 5, 3 & a princess - 9mths)

Do we have the same son? I'd love to hear what other people have to say on this topic.

Oh, how I can relate. My boys are 4.5 and 2.5. The youngest is definitely a little more mischievious, but they have both been challenging. I've dealt with all those desires to explore, sitting in the sink with running water, wanting out of the grocery cart, jumping off the couch - and the list goes on - and I am still dealing with them. I try to be pretty laid back and I do let them explore quite a bit...sometimes resulting in a frustrating mess. I guess all I can say is as long as you are there to supervise and know they aren't going to harm themselves (badly) let them explore as much as you can handle. I let my boys out of the cart if they want out and it is a challenge keeping an eye on both of them, but it's better than fighting them to sit down. Now, if they completely go bonkers outside of the cart, I have to get very firm with them, sometimes tell them I've had enough and put them back in..sometimes cutting the trip short. I do allow my boys to climb on our couches and what-not, but they do know it's not allowed at other people's homes. I guess it's all a really fine line in what works for you and what you can handle. I try to allow exploration while also teaching what can cause harm. I'm not sure that I offered any advice, but I think you're definitely not alone...boys will be boys. My boys love each other and often play well together, but they also already throw punches. Guess it's all part of the process. Once we pass this phase, it'll be a new challenge. There's a reason they say parenting is one of the hardest jobs on earth!

My youngest son (now 15) was a terrible two for about five years! Now he's turning into a wonderful young man.

I don't like the buying toys idea, because it makes a kid think that good behavior is rewarded, not expected. I would suggest that even though it's embarassing, half the parents around you in the store have been through the same thing. A harness allows him to run while under some control; and how about going to a playground before the store?

This, too, shall pass.

B.,

Honey every child is different and boy did you get yours. consistent loving control is all you can do. Have the same rules every time and the same consisquences.(sp) It doesn't mean that the high activity level is going to be less it means he knows the consequences of his actions every time.

As far as out in public. I found with my guy that the more I prepared him in the car on the way there, the more successful our trip was. I would tell him what we where going to do, what we wheren't going to do. what the store rules where for boys and for mommy's, what the consequences where for not obeying etc. I would repeat everything several times and have him repeat as well. Each trip got better and better. Does your four year old walk freely? He also wants to be just like brother but of course doesn't yet have the self control.Brother being in the back of or in a double cart for a while will help as well. Snacks and anything that he is interested in the store went into the cart until the end. So he was engaged in a book, toy etc. for at least part of the trip. Don't let his behavior stop your errands. Explain to him the consequences and keep shopping. He will learn he is not going to get is way.

Lastly this could be but not neccessarily signs of addhd. IT IS WAY TOO EARLY TO TELL. GOOD DRS WON"T TEST UNTIL AT LEAST 6 or 7 AND THOSE THAT DO SHOULDN'T. DO not let someone try to medicate a small child.

My son was very busy and his 4 year preschool teacher was certain he needed medication. in tears off to the pediatrican we went who reassured me all was well. and I was the lucky mom of an active body and mind. He said only very severe toddlers, setting fires, extreme violence warrented medicine . Now he is 8 an since kindergarten has been the most obediant attentive boy in his class for 3 years. good luck honey it will get better.

B.,

Hi I have a 26 month old boy and i know what your ralking about.I do have to saw that in the stores I've learned to bring colors/pens and paper and seat him in the back of the buggy and color it keeps him occupied for awhile. And the food mines the same walking and grazing.

Chrisit L

Some little boys,and a few girls, are just like this. Plan trips to the store and other places for when someone else can watch him, whenever possible. When it is not possible, you will just have to put up with the screaming. Believe it or not, the other people in the store will not think you are abusing your son. I would not allow him to wander and eat during meals. He should sit in his high chair. If he refuses to eat if he is forced to sit, don't worry about it. It is a power play then, and you should not give in. He will give up the fight if he sees you aren't giving in. Don't expect this to change in one week. You are training him. It takes weeks or longer. Some things he is just going to have learn to endure. Other than that, accept him as he is, and try to keep him safe. He can't help the way he is, and you are not going to change him. Little ones need to be active, and some more than others.

Maybe this will make you feel better - I have 2 1/2 yr old twins who act the same way! Needless to say, I get a babysitter if I want to go to the store, etc. Otherwise, I'm not sure I can make it since it takes what feels like 30mins just to get them in and out of the car seats (since they have to get chapsick, a book, do their seatbelt themselves - yeah right!, etc). I do have an older son, though who acted the same way at their age. He grew out of it - well, actually he learned to control himself. Relief started coming at age 3, so hang in there as I am doing. They really are just excited about everything and want to explore it all at once. They are learning and they will learn their boundries.

It was interesting because we went to Chimp Haven today and we saw the mother chimp trying to get the baby to walk with her through the woods. The baby decided to climb a small tree on the way - just like our babies who want to climb on the kitchen countertops! So, it is natural!!! Don't let anyone tell you any different!

My son will be 3 April third and also HATES to be confined in the shopping cart. At super walmart, I would grab the bath and beauty/pet/medicine items we need first, then go to the toy section. I would let him pick out a hot wheels car or some other $1 toy, tell him he could play with that now if he sat in the basket, we would also pick out like a $5 toy (usually a Disney Cars character or a Thomas engine) and I tell him if he is a big boy and sits down in the basket while mommy is getting the things we need, then when we get home, we will open this toy! It works great, now I do not always buy the $5 toy, and at times have to temporarily take the $1 toy away to redirect his attention, if he continues to throw a tantrum, we go to the bathroom and I put him in a corner and I kneel down in front of him until he quiets back down. I always buy the toy that I opened for him, and if he is a terror through the store I put it in the Surprise Treasure Box and he can get the toy later.

B.,
I have a 19 mo. old boy who loves staying busy too. He is always climbing, digging in cabinets or drawers etc.. I have to watch him 24/7 unlike some of my friends kids. I have done some reading on this and kids are just learning about their environments and taking in so much new information at this age and this is how they do it by hands on experience. I am just trying to be patient cause I know it will get better. When we go to eat out now I take a little bag of tinker toys (the kind that is to small for him to play with alone, but since I am next to him I just watch him closely)it buys me and my husband a few minutes to eat and enjoy our meal without him squirming in his seat to get down. I have also found that Mr. Potatoe heads are great to take places, they will buy a few extra minutes of shopping etc.

P.S.
Sounds like you have a perfectly normal toddler!! Don't worry!!

I call them the Terrible Two's and Trying Three's. Mine will be 3 in April. He too is the 2nd child. He has gone thru: 1 gallon of lemonade, 1 bottle of shampoo, 2 tubes of toothpaste, 2 bottles of dish detergent, 1 container of gatorade mix, and 1 marker, All on my floors! 1 tube of butt paste on his bed, oil base not fun to clean up. Crayons on the wall. Climbed on top of every piece of furniture, and jumped. Shoved 3-4 DVD's at time in the player. Just last week he feel of the porch and scrapped his head on Tuesday, shoved a toy up his nose so far the Dr. had to remove it on Wednesday, Jumped in the tub and busted his chin and got 3 stitches on Thursday, and somehow lost a stitch on Friday!?!?
He too can not make it thru a grocery store run.
THANK GOD for Kids Day Out. I have 2 days a week to run all my errands with only my 6 month old daughter. It is so worth the money and they also learn a lot there. As my friend told me when I first learned about the program: "Your kids like you better, and You like your kids more with a little break form each other."
We thought 6 year old was active, then we met Alex. We actually stopped after the 2nd one cause he is such a handful, but got my daughter as a bonus.

B., you're probably gotten all sorts of advice by now but here's my take on your situation. I have a 25-m.o. boy who is also active. When I need to do a long errand with him I go to Wal-Mart where they have those huge carts with two seats in the front. He does flips on the handle bar, climbs all over the two seats and also in and out of the little front compartment. At his age there is no such thing as a reward for good behavior because he does not have long enough of a memory. When he gets out of hand I leave the store. He's my second boy; the first one was verbally active and quite honestly I'd rather deal with the phycial rather than 100s of questions a day.

If he really likes to be active in the stroller find activities he can do that are constructive/destructive. Give him a shoe or by some lace up cards with the strings and let him pull the strings out and then figure out how to put them back in. My kids also LOVE the seat buckles. Buy a book that has the laces, buckles, and mulitiple textures that he can explore. My kids also love when I give them a toy/book at the store that they can play with while we are in the store and then put back on the shelf just before the checkout! If he is really into textures - fabrics - then let him hold say a "silky" blouse that won't get ruined and a pair of corduroys. It helps to keep them busy with SOMETHING while I can focus on my shopping with a little more peace.

get him a harness and let him walk. they have great ones at wal-mart with monkeys and other animals. they are great for an independant little guy.

I can give you no advise, but I can give you hope. Every phase is temporary, remember he will not always be two. I was myself a hellion. When my mother took me into public at this age I would run one way and my sister would run the other. My mother would have to figure out who was going to do the most damage first (taking apart mannequins, knocking over clothing racks, etc.)and chase that one. We have both grown up to be good, productive, sane women. Your little son will be fine. He will eventually learn to channel the energy. High energy is not a bad trait, it's just exhausting in the early years.

Well, I just wanted to smile knowing I am not the only one out there with the same problem. I don't have boys I have a girl who is identical to your situation. My daughter is now 4 years old and we still battle this. I will have to admit it has gotten better as she gets older but she still cannot sit still for anything. She will not stay still in bed at night it takes forever to get her to stay in bed before she will fall asleep. I think that is our biggest issue right now. She will sometimes stay still at the dinner table but normally will find something to play with like a napkin. My husband is very stricked with discipline. She will normally do anything he says. I am not that strick. It is something I battle. I know I should be stronger, but it is hard when I stay home all day. I have notice that if we keep her on a good schedule with good discipline she is better. I observe this because she acts different around my husband than me. I really don't have a whole lot of words of wisdom but hang it there. My daughter has her four year old well child check up in a couple of weeks. I plan on running this by him then. However, I will let you know that my daughter is in Mother's Day Out with the church and when I ask her teachers if she sits still during story time and lesson time they say she does. So it is something with me. It is just her trying to have control I believe.

This was soo funny to me --i had to read it out loud to my husband. We also have a 23 m/o son. Who.. it sounded almost like you were writing about!! We don't take him out of the house to run any errands unless BOTH of us are going --it is literally impossible, we certainly don't go out to eat!! :)

He is the same way... up on the table.. in the sink --even managed to get up on top of his brother's dresser and put about 10 things in the fish tank in the time it took me to cut up an apple!! WOW!!

So... long story short... these TYRANT two's (as we like to call it) is -has to be- completely normal!! :)

Have you made a journal of his eating habits? Try it and see what he is eating on a daily basis. It could be that a few simple modifications can be made in his diet. He could hypersensitive to sugars that are hidden in our foods. Or he could be having an allergic reaction to food dyes in our foods. I had young girl in youth group one time that was allergic to yellow #4 food dye. She could eat or drink something with that in it and could have some really bazare reactions. A friend had a child that was allergic to ketchup. A meal with fies and ketchup was like giving her pep pills for three. Her mom monitored her very closely and by diet change she had a pretty normal upbringing. It even changed the schools mind on trying to have put on ridlin for adhd. it can't hurt to try it and see. Sometimes the large problems have simple solutions. Let me know. Mimi J

We have a harness for my 15 month old. It doesn't stop all the problems but it definitely helps. I wouldn't use it at the grocery store, but he loves to be able to walk around just about everywhere else. It came from Target and was around ten dollars.

Good luck,
S.