I had a c-section with my 2nd child. My eldest child was 3.5 years old at the time.
PRIOR to my having my 2nd child, I always talked with her about what would happen.... in child terms so she could understand. When I was in the last trimester of pregnancy for example, I would tell her I was tired and she and I would 'nap' together etc. She understood.
I explained to her that I would go to the hospital for 3 days and Daddy would take care of her, that she could visit me etc., and when I came home I had to rest and take it easy because i had a surgery. She understood.
My Husband and Mom, took off of work, and took turns staying home with me for the first 2 weeks post op. Then it was just me and my daughter and the new baby home. Alone.
I simply explained to my eldest, my daughter, that I had to take it easy... to heal. She understood. BUT.... a couple of weeks before I had my 2nd child, she had started preschool. Which she LOVED. So for 1/2 the day, it was just baby and me home. That gave me a 'break' so to speak. But.... in talking with my daughter and "explaining" things, it really helped. Because, the eldest child needs to be informed as well.... so that they are not just wondering all the time. I always, explained to my daughter as well, what a baby does... that is cries, that I have to nurse it, that he has to nap etc. But that is Mommy's "job" and that my daughter didn't have to 'worry' or feel 'responsible.' I also explained that she just be herself... that she is still important... but I cannot do the same things that I usually do, while I heal. So she understood and she was real great about everything.
I also had a 'routine' everyday, about things. So that is important for a child. For the eldest child.
I just did what I could, per my c-section and recovery. I did not push myself. And I always had a 'nap' time. Every day. So that helps.
The main thing, is to explain to your eldest child.... and to incorporate him/her into things... but keep it age-appropriate.
Do not suddenly 'expect' your eldest to just fall into place nor to act "older" than he/she is. Because, he/she is still only 3 years old.
And you have to spend one on one time with him/her too.
You just do what you can. 6 weeks post-op for a c-section recovery is normal. And you need to go to follow-up appointments too. If you need help, you ask someone, or your Hubby. That is his 'job' too. You just had major surgery. A c-section is major surgery.
Just do not strain yourself... or lift heavy things... and do what your doctor advises. Explain to your 3 year old, so that he/she can understand.
that is what I did. And my daughter, really impressed me. She understood, but I spent a TON of time talking with her about it and whenever needed, so that she and I still 'bonded' despite having a new baby around. You still have to give a lot of time to the eldest child. 3 years old is not an easy age, developmentally.
all the best,
Susan