It's really important to my stepdaughter to GIVE presents on Christmas. Every year I help her pick out a present for her mom (because no one else will) and last year she wanted to give a present to her half-sister and half-brother at her mom's house too so I helped her pick out something small.
Mom lives with her boyfriend, whom she has a baby with. Do we need to buy a present for the boyfriend this year?
My SD and the boyfriend aren't close at all. He's a nice guy, but he's not really interested in my SD and he only sees her one day every other weekend. They don't dislike one another, It's more like they're just not close.
Usually I would advocate giving gifts to everyone on Christmas, but this year we don't have a lot of money. Spending money on the boyfriend means less money for us to spend on someone we really care about (and believe me, spending money on my husband's ex-wife's boyfriend is NOT at the top of our list!)
I was also thinking of just having my SD bake decorated cookies for her mom and family instead of buying gifts. Too cheap?
Thoughts?
I do not think you have to give him a gift, but I think it would be great if you did. instead of cookies, consider something like a snack mix, like Homemade Trash or Homemade spicy nuts, Homemade salsa.
Men are not as into sweets as we are.. they tend to like salty snacks.
It will be fun for SD to be able to say she made it just for him.
BTW ~ I think you are awesome to help her give.. She is always going to appreciate it.
No, I don't think it is necessary to get him anything, that's her mom's job. I think the cookie idea is perfect. Maybe she can make a Christmas ornament or something to attach to the plate of cookies for a cute and heartfelt presentation.
I would not buy him one , it's her Mom's reponsablity to take the child out and buy something for the boyfriend.
It's nice that your husband (and you) are amicable enough, and loving enough, that you'd get a gift for his ex, the mother of his child. That's very thoughtful, and sets a really good example for the daughter.
That being said, I think it's sort of ludicrous for you to buy your husbands ex-wife's boyfriend a present. If your stepdaughter wants to get him something, shouldn't that fall on her OWN mother? After all, it's HER boyfriend. I know you are well meaning, and have a bigger heart than most of us...because I think most of us are going to say NO WAY.
What a beautiful heart you have. I hope someone does something really nice for you this Christmas.
I think cookies are PERFECT.
It's a gift, he gets included, your SD is learning manners/inclusiveness from you, and it won't break the bank.
iF you wanted... a combo of salty and sweet I think is a good idea. People split into about 2/3s & 1/3 (roughly) with those who prefer sweets and salts. (My husband has the sweet tooth in my family! Actually, ALL of the men in my family, come to think of it, are the ones going after the cookies, pixies, truffles, etc... while the goils split about 50/50 with sweet or salty. Huh.) ANYHOW... Chocolate dipped pretzels and cookies?
I like the idea of being INCLUSIVE with gifts. I hate to see anyone left out. It's like being the last one picked for the team--ugg no body wants me. Making a plate of cookies and or other baked goods is a great idea. You don't say how old your SD is or if she is old enough to make money. I also like those tins of popcorn with 3 varieties in as a gift for someone you don't know well. Everyone in my family loves those.
You could do a family gift for Mom Dad and the brother and sister and give a selection of baked good with the popcorn.
I think it's your SD's MOM's role to have her get a gift for her boyfriend. My SD's mom has never coordinated getting a gift for me for any occasion nor would I expect her to - that's something my husband takes care of. Likewise, I take care of my SD's gifts to her dad (my husband).
I think this falls outside of the realm of responsibility for your family. If SD brings it up, tell her to ask her mom (or have your husband bring it up with her mom). We get gifts for SD's mom (again, not that the mom has ever done gifts for us ever) but I would not do anything for her boyfriend. Frankly, we don't get gifts for SD's half brothers either because again, that's her mother's job.
I think cookies is a good idea and then give gifts to the others. She could make and individual box for him and one for the family that way he will be included.
Maybe she could make cookies for the family and put each name on one. That would make it more personal and be much simpler than individual gifts.
