But Mommy Pplleeaassee Sleep with Me!

we do not sleep with our kids or let them sleep with us. If they are scared we sit in the living room and cuddle for a little bit to calm them down then we review the fears (shadows looking like monsters, dreams, Mommy will do everything to keep you safe) then back to bed.

Not sure how much help this is.

I let my girl sleep with me, on occasion, for as long as she wanted - which was until she was about 14! I love that kid. I spent a lot of time cuddling with her. Some of our deepest conversations happened once the lights went out and we were all alone in the quiet. SHe's prefectly well adjusted. We still have a great relationship and she just turned 18.
Now I have 2 little ones. My girl likes to cuddle with dad and my boy likes to cuddle with me. And we like it too! I work all day and I cherish every chance I get to hold those little buggers. I just dont see a problem with it. They've never had a problem not being held at someone elses house. They dont want to sleep with just anybody. They want to sleep with me, so thats never been a problem. Dad is somewhat opposed to co-sleeping for my son, but ok with it for my girl. Whereas, I'm all for it. We dont necessarily agree, but we compromise.

Maybe it's b/c I am a working (out of the house) mom. I figure if they need me, they need me. I do lie w/ them until they fall asleep.... and let them crawl in bed after about 3am (rare). It can be exhausting and sometimes frustrating, BUT I secretly cherish those times and know the day will come that I will truly miss them : (

Nope- we don't sleep with him and he doesn't sleep in our bed! Even as an infant he slept better in his own space, which made middle-of-the-night nursing after a c-section lots of fun! Regardless, he doesn't know otherwise, so it's never been an issue.

My sister, now 24, would probably STILL sleep with my parents if they let her and she doesn't live there anymore! It's a really hard habit to break, so better to never form it in the first place. That's the one piece of advice that my mother stated over again after my son was born... give them their own space to sleep and be consistent or you will never get them out of your bed!

Well....kind of. My husband used to lie on the floor in my son's room til he fell asleep. He did that til about 4ish. I told him he was being ridiculous and that our son would be fine without doing that. He stopped. Son was fine. He's a nightlight only, door closed kind of kid and pretty much always has been.
A few rare times where he's had a nightmare or feels ill, he has come into bed with me/us. I have no problem with that--it's so infrequent--but I would not want my child sleeping in our bed every night. That's just me.

have you thought about telling them to fall asleep in their beds and then if they want they can come to yours if they wake up? that's what i do. 9 times out of 10, they sleep all night. my rule is if they wake up before 12, they have to go back to their room. if it's later than that they can cozy on up with me :).

Either I and my daughter's father slept with her every night, depending on whose house she was at. She decided on her own that she wanted to sleep in her own bed when she was 8. We encouraged it, but did not insist. She now sometimes wants to sleep with me, like this week because her grandpa died.

She does fine at sleepovers with friends, but I am always with her at the grandparents' house.

I don't remember ever sleeping in my parents' bed, but there were four of us! I shared a room with my sister until I went to college. I never longed for my own space.

Have you tried having "sleepovers" in your room a few times a month? Tonight, when you put them to bed, tell them that on Friday, you're going to have a pajama party. Explain that you are going to bring their mattress into your room and they can sleep in there and have a pajama party with you. But only if they go to bed the other nights in their own bed without a problem.

My children love to do this. Well, they did. My daughter still does. My son is 12, and he is mixed about it. Sometimes he likes to do it, but sometimes he says, "Mom, I'm kind of old for pajama parties now."

My children co-slept with us for a year and a half to two years after they were born. They transitioned into their own beds without a problem (well, not much of a problem - I had to pretend to be a bed hog) and then once in a while we'd do the pajama party thing.

Hope this helps.

My 9yo has currently been sleeping w/ me (most of the time) for several months now. He's afraid of dying in his sleep (we had some major heath issues), has nightmares most nights, and to cap it all off... I have to test his oxygen levels and pulse every 1-2 hours while he is sleeping (so he doesn't die in his sleep... it's not an irrational fear... although I play it down like crazy, he's coded twice this month), which just makes it about 1000x easier to have him sleep w/ me in "Mom's Magic Bed."

Prior to just recently... he'd sleep with me about half the time. This is pretty cumulative. Months would go by in his bed, while other weeks he'd spend half the time with me and half the time in his own, while other months he'd be mostly in mine. We did NOT start out cosleeping, although I'd intended on it (kiddo wanted his own space from day 1. He literally stretched before doing anything else the day he was born, and slept through the night for the first time ever at a few weeks old when I set him down in his crib for "just a moment". He didn't start piling into my bed with me until he was almost 4.

When I was a kid my parent's bed was "nightmares only". My best friend's parents she could pile in any time she wanted. I loved that sooooo much as a child (I'd sleepover, she'd sleepover) that I instituted HER family's rule in my own house.

There have been times I've wanted him in his bed for various reasons. We only ever had a problem for about 6mo waaaaaaaaaaaaay back years ago. Solved when kiddo was given the option to "start out in mine and be moved... or start out in his and allowed to come over". As soon as he had a chioce... easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Never had a problem at grandparents or other people's houses... but we've also had "Different Rules at Different Houses" pretty solid since he was about 2, AS WELL AS "You throw a fit, you don't get what you want". Not saying these 2 things would work for every kid... just that they worked for mine. My son will sleep anywhere, these days. Mom's bed, his bed, his bed at Nana's, with Nana or Papa in THEIR "magic bed", in the car, at friend's houses, hotels. Anywhere. By himself or with others.

I don't think any child has ever been "messed up" because (s)he slept in a parent's bed - no matter how often. HOWEVER, I DO know some MARRIAGES that have been "messed up" because of it.
I think co-sleeping is a decision to be made by each family.

Having said that, our 5 year old sleeps with us on occasion. He's been sleeping through the night in his own bed since he was 8 weeks old. He RARELY wakes during the night, and it's usually because he drank water too late and needs to pee. He'll then mosey on into our bed. He TRIES continually to make a habit of sleeping with us . . . . "pllllleeeease sleep with me" when we put him to bed. But, we just say "not tonight. Good night. I love you." and close his door. We have an "agreement" that he can sleep in our bed one night per week, plus he wakes us on Saturday mornings to turn on the tv in our bedroom and watch cartoons.
Now, if he's sick or wakes crying from a nightmare in the night, that's a whole different ballgame. It's his choice if one of us goes into his bed to sleep with him, or if he climbs in our bed.
Bottom line - make a decision/compromise with your spouse on what to do, and then STICK with it. I think NOT sticking with it is where it leads to a problem.