K.B.
From a mom who has a 5 year old that can be extremely stubborn I can give you some ideas that has worked for me.
Your daughter sounds like my son. Tall and bright. We just had his screening done for Kindergarten he scored 9 points above the average kindergarten. As the counselor put it bright kids have odd behavior, they are different in many ways. It was realiving in way to hear it.
Here's a few things that I found to help me: Non structure free play that really channels their energy. For me it was letting my son lose in the woods in our backyard, of course I was at eyesight. I didn't direct him, he could spend hours out there. He would come back with a shirt full of nuts, and I bought him a kid hammer. He would break them open and look inside them, he would break rocks open and do the same.
I know it sounds so simple but it worked for me. After he had some free play outside of the house and by himself. He would listen better.
Arguing: I give it no attention at all, I don't even react when he tries to argue. I will tell him I understand he's mad, and he can be mad. But I tell him I won't be around the fit throwing or yelling and I walk away. I ignore it, truly ignore it. He's run away and I didn't react to him running away. I just kept him in eyesight and tried to not let him see me watching him. When he came back I walked him to the car and we did a time out in the car. I explained when he could control his behavior we would go back in.
Remember they are trying to manipulate you into what they want. You give them an ounce letting them know they succeeded they will only try harder next time. =)
I put my son in his room and just held the door shut till he calmed down. It's hard but a few times of that and he learned I wasn't going to put up with it.
I had to take my son out of preschool they weren't challenging him enough. He knew everything that was being taught to the class, and the teachers didn't let him help the other kids.
He was reading the prereading books by himself before he was 5. Don't be afraid to challenger her at home, she needs it. I've received cristism that he won't be able to do well in school because he will be ahead of his peers. I don't believe in holding back a kids need to be challenged. I do ask him challanging questions that make him think. I don't correct him if his thinking is wrong, instead I say wow that's some good thinking. He looks it. I got him workbooks and we do them
together. I get him involved in cooking dinner and other daily task.
So no I don't think she needs to see a counselor she sounds liek a normal bright kid. That needs some help in finding something that helps channel all that energy she has.
Just know you aren't alone!