Bride Requesting Neice Wear Makeup as Flower Girl

Just a thought that you might want to pass along to the bride...if a 7 year old gets red lipstick on her lips and gets too close to the bride, the bride will also have red lipstick on her dress!!! My daughter is affectionate and would most likely be hugging and staying close to those she feels comfortable with. If there is going to be any posed pix with the bride and the flower girl, the bride might want to rethink the red lipstick request!

Maybe just a little to stain her lips, but anymore would look like a clown- as others said. I hate red lipstick, so I would hate if someone told me I had to wear it. It looks terrible on me, makes me look like a clown.
I am more confused about the dress, I have never seen a short flower girl dress, especially on a 7 year old.

That's way over the top! It may be her wedding, but it's not her child! It's bad enough she wants the bridesmaids to wear a shade of lipstick that may look hideous. She can't possibly expect a 7yo to wear something that's clearly WAY too "old" for her!

OK as a former wedding planner for over 11 years this is my 2 cents...

I get the bride trying for a uniform look, but what MANY brides fail to realize is that what needs to be highlighted is the personal best of each bridesmaid. I believe appropriateness for the flower girl follows into that category. Who wants the flower girl looking like lady Gaga when she's SEVEN????? and at a wedding nonetheless - this is supposed to be a solemn moment followed by class and sophistication. I personally would go with a flattering shade of gloss for my daughter and maybe a little powder for a more dewy/fresh look. This bride needs to see the big picture in all of this...It's not a Robert Plant video.

Hope this helps!

I think a short skirt and dark red lipstick is too old for a 7 year old! I wouldn't let my daughter wear the lipstick. I would try to compromise, would she be ok with a sheer gloss or maybe is slightly tinted gloss? Isn't the flower girl supposed to be natural and young? Not a pint-sized bride? Idk--I DO know that get up would make me uncomfortable if it were my daughter.

Um, if she were my daughter I would not allow her to wear lipstick...wedding or not! She is 7 not 17. That is crazy - IMO!

EWWW! When I read the title I thought you'd be talking about a little mascara, blush, maybe lip gloss. I still think little girls look much better when left alone but I know some people would put light makeup on a flower girl. The red lipstick is a joke. She'll look like a child bride or over made-up pageant contestant. There is no way bright red lipstick will stay on her lips for more than a few minutes. It'll be on her teeth, face, dress and everyone else! I sell wedding products for a lving and can tell you the color coordination thing goes way too far. No one is going to notice that the flower girls lipstick matches the bridesmaids just that the flowergirl looks like a kid playing dress up, or worse! From someone who knows a lot about weddings, the flower girl is supposed to be cute, natural, a symbol of innocence. Why have a flower girl at all if you try to make her look older than she is? I think the short skirt would be OK if she looks like a little girl in every other way, with the lipstick is not a good idea. Have your friend read these posts and maybe she'll see the light. BTW I do not make a big deal about make-up on kids. My 11 year old wears mascara and gloss when she wants. It's all about whats appropriate and looks good. Trust me a 7 year old with bright red lipstick AND a really short skirt will not look good!

We joke that my daughter is a "professional" flower girl now that she has done 3 weddings (the last was specifically to keep the ring bearer calm and hold his hand. She wasn't related to the family, she is just cute and talked him calmly down the isle.)

Like with dance recitals, flower girls can use a bit of makeup to enhance their natural beauty. A teeny bit of mascara can make their eyes stand out even more, and just a hint of pink blush. A teeny bit of sparkle can make it look "fairy" and "innocent". Your question is lips: I would say take a lipstick brush and dot a little bit of the dark color in the center of the lip, then use a LOT of Vaseline/clear lip gloss to blend it into a thin tint. Your niece will have a hint of the same color as the rest of the bridal party, but it will still look innocent and appropriate for a 7 year old. Take it for a test drive a week before so you see it will look fine with the dress.

My daughter is now 7, and yes, they wear skirts that short, but they all have shorts built in. You may want to go to a dance wear store and get her some "trunks". http://www.danskin.com/girls-newteamessentials-heavyweigh... They are like the bottom half of a leotard. Cheerleaders wear them. Often 7 year olds have a hard time remembering their "private space" when scampering around the reception, and this will put your mind at ease.

Hope you can relax and enjoy the wedding! Just as a "ps" I picked up a camera at Best Buy and got their insurance for it as my daughter has dropped 2. Thing is she is a good photographer! Your niece may really enjoy being trusted with a camera for her, and as a flower girl she may charm some great pictures out of people at different angles. Also, it will make her feel less "forgotten" after the ceremony. (Some kids are surprised they have no role at the reception. One bride we adore is a teacher and she packed the kids TONS of "busy bags" to keep them entertained after dinner. Way beyond just coloring books.)

A lot of brides seem to lose all common sense when planning their wedding and "everything has to be PERFECT". She's probably not even aware that she is truly asking a 7 year old for red lips. Tell her nicely I get what you are going for but I'm sure you don't want my neice to look like she just got off the Toddler and Tiara show, I will put on a slightly hued gloss and everyones eyes will be on you anyway. Don't ask if it is ok, tell her that is what you are doing. I'm sure in her grand plans that will be a small detail she would be willing to change. Don't sweat it , just tell her how it is going to be. Have fun at the wedding.

K.,

Young children have naturally beautiful hair and skin and DO NOT require make-up, let alone RED lipstick. I would suggest the bride use RED RIBBONS the shade of her desired lip color in the little girl's hairdo. This reminds me of those little girl beauty pagents where children end up looking more like hookers then little children. NO MAKE-UP.

Blessings......

Perhaps a bit of perspective on the symbolism in wedding ceremonies would help the bride adjust her expectations. At a basic symbolic level, a wedding is public ritualized mating. The processional flows down the aisle (birth canal) and the marriage is born at the altar, or wherever the two parties join themselves together. The bridesmaids and groomsmen represent those who have encouraged and supported the couple. The parents who walk the aisle are (goes without saying) honored for having brought up the couple. And now, to the flower girl and ring bearer: they are customarily youthful because they represent innocence, new life and the hope for fertility for the new couple. The strewing of the bride's path by the flower girl symbolically cleanses the path and prevents the bride from contacting impurities during her transit through the birth canal.

The bride may change her mind about the makeup if she understands that the flower girl is not a matching adornment for the bridal gown, but rather an innocent angelic messenger, strewing blessings for the bride's future health and fertility. Costuming the flower girl to appear sexually attractive is corrupting the angelic messenger... for those who liken a wedding to a beauty pageant, please review the foregoing symbolism and think again.

I can see maybe eye shadow or lip gloss but not lip stick or actual make up like foundation. 7 yro should not wear make up or short dresses. I know the bride is supposed to look the best but from what your describing it sounds like she trying to dress her as something she shouldn't be. Bright red lip stick is a bad idea and I'd tell your friend it is inappropriate for someone that age to wear. Because if she wipes her face with her hand or dress and forgets there is make up well then you have lip stick and make up on the dress. in short bad idea. If the bride doesn't like oh well the little girl is not her's.

Hi Momma-
I can't say that it's normal, but at the same time the bride wants everything in her wedding to match from what I gather, so she may be over doing it just a bit. I think that maybe the compromise could be that the niece wear those fun fluffy underwear covers (not the plastic ones) to cover her bottom just in case, because little girls do not always cross their legs. As for the lipstick, if there is an issue with the mother or family having a hard time with the color, go for a sheer red gloss. L'Oreal makes some great ones, Revlon does too. You can even go cheaper like Rimmel. That way her lips will be rosy, but not adult woman.
Not being in that position myself, I can't say what I would do, but it does make me feel weird to see little girls all made up. A little gloss, maybe, but they shouldn't look like they are wearing makeup.
I don't know if that sets me apart, but it just makes me feel weird to see that kind of stuff. I don't know. It may be perfectly normal and acceptable for a lot of people. I think as long as the mother explains that this is a special occasion and not normal wear....but also, the question to ask is how much makeup does the mother wear, the older women in this little girls life wear, etc. Those are her role models, and while I LOVE to spruce up as much as the next makeup junkie, the concern is how your niece is responded too- is is a positive "you like nice for the wedding" or is it a "she's growing up so fast and how are the men going to look at her in the near future" kind of thing.
It really may not be that big of a deal, but you should talk to your sister (or sister in law, whichever) and see how she feels about it.
This may not help any, but good luck and enjoy the wedding!
-E. M

.

It sounds to me like the bride is a bit on the immature side where it comes to understanding kids and how people perceive them in a wedding. I think I would point out to her that part of what makes having a young child in a wedding party such a hit is the fact of their very innocence and the clean childlike appearance. Then I would suggest that perhaps a little bit of lip gloss would be plenty. Also point out that a childs lips are usually naturally colored and that one reason ladies use make up is that we lose that coloring as we grow older.
I'm just curious as to why she's contacting you rather than the mother of the girl. It does seem to me that your neice's mother's opinion on this should weigh heavily on the decision as well.

I just got married and both of my nieces were flower girls. I would NEVER have asked for them to wear lipstick! We dusted a little sparkly powder over them for fun, and curled their hair and that was it. Sorry, but that request is totally out of line to me, no matter what color dresses are being worn. Of course the adult bridesmaids will wear lipstick- no one I know would ever expect a 7 year old to!

Lot's of little girls wear short dresses- that's fine if she wears tights or little leggings or something UNDER - because you know she is going to be sitting with her knees out at some point! Make sure she has something appropriate on underneath.
But red lipstick just isn't necessary for your daughter to look cute!

I think the idea below about pointing out to the bride that your daughter at her age will also be likely to get lipstick all over the bride when she hugs her is a good one! Make sure you bring it up to the bride's mom as well- I bet she will be on your side with this!

You're the mom, just say that you are just not comfortable with your daughter wearing lipstick at her age, even just so she 'matches'.

Its hard enough to keep red lipstick straight on my own lips and I'm 43, but on a 7 yo, she will likely have it smeared all over her face before she even gets down the isle! How stupid. I got married in Oct and the friend that dressed my 2 girls (ages 10 and 14, special needs) for the wedding put light eyeshadow and tinted lipgloss on them and they looked beautiful. Good luck!

If the mother does not see it fitting for a 7 year old. I wouldn't allow it. My daughter was a flower girl (3 yrs) for a wedding in a church. The bride wanted our daughter to be bare foot. Which I thought was inapproiate for a church wedding, especially in Dec. I brought my daughter in tights and white shoes. She was so busy with everything, it never became an issue. I wouldn't worry about it to much, the day will be so busy, she won't be thinking about the flower girl wearing makeup

It's one day for a few hours. I say go for it. What little girl doesn't like to play dress-up and look like the big girls. It's not like she's asking her to shave her head and get a tattoo??

O.K. so the lipstick matching the flowers will make it look like they were eating their bouquets before the ceremony! Makeup should be neutral and match a person's complexion not their outfit - unless you're a drag queen. Dark lipstick etc. on a little girl is creepy and reminds one of Toddlers and Tiaras. Gently suggest this to the bride and dare her to find a single picture in a bridal magazine that shows the wedding party looking like vampires with bloody lips and red roses - very Twilight! Maybe you can be the hero of the day and stop the bad taste and save the wedding photos from being tragic!

I think little children have natural beauty that does not need to be covered. The dark red lipstick would take this away. It will make her look like a clown in the pictures I would suggest some lip gloss to enhance her innocence and not take it away.

Tell Bridezilla NO. She is a little girl and NO ONE would expect her to be wearing such a harsh color. If she does not like it.......oh well keep your daughter out of the wedding.

um.. i'm sorry, but my personal opinion is that a 7 year old for NO REASON be wearing such bold make up. I understand if they want to cover up a scar. or something to that nature.. but..just for the sake of matching.. um.. negative! lol

HOLLY HANNAH!! BRIDZILLA has lost IT. Short dress MAYBE!!! but the red lips too. OH NO! The flower girl is one of the main attractions of the wedding u want her natural features to say AWWW when she comes down the isle. She sets the stage for the bride. Maybe she can meet u half way or something.
Hope this helps

Our daughter just turned 5 in March and was a flower girl for my brothers' wedding 3 weeks ago. I put light pink eye shadow on her and a little lip gloss (which I'm sure she licked off right away..LOL.) You really couldn't even tell she was wearing anything unless you actually looked. But I think it did make her "shine" a little more for her role. She loved it.

HOWEVER, I WOULD NEVER PUT BRIGHT RED lipstick on a flower girl. It will look very out of place. I think it will make her look terrible....... Offer to let her wear some lip gloss instead........

I think dark red lipstick is just going to look odd on a little kid. Something in a lip gloss might be nice though.

Whether it's normal or not - are YOU comfortable with her wearing red lipstick? If it were me, I wouldn't want my young daughter wearing red lipstick and a short dress, but then again, I've seen my sister's kids, who are dancers, wear a lot more than red lipstick to their performances. They wear so much it takes them a long time just to wash it all off.

Wedding, Dance Performance or whatever some people just like it when kids are all "dolled" up. It's not for me but to each his/her own!

It's kind of scary to think that all the adult women are wearing the same shade... since different skintones and all but that's not what you are asking anyway... Well I am wondering if it's good from a "stage" perspective. You know how in recitals and theater makeup is used to that faces can been seen? Try it on, do some test pictures with and without. Find out if she can keep it on without smearing it all over. Just explore it. It might look terrible and you friend would have to admit it. I think Anna Lee's suggestion about tinted lip gloss is a great idea. I also think that it's not bad if she wears makeup to be in a wedding. It is a special occasion and in a sense everyone is wearing a costume of the wedding. Also as long as there's not a "smoky eye" going with the red lipstick it's not a big deal. Bottom line give it a try then make an informed decision. You may possibly avoid any disagreement in this way. Another thought.. ask a make artist who has experience with weddings.. get a pros opinion

Children should not wear makeup unless they are going on stage. Paedophiles need no encouragement.

The kids wear makeup for dance recitals and other things where they are in front of people. I don't think wearing a bit of lipstick, even darker shades, is a big issue. I do however wonder what in the world the bride is thinking to have a little girl wear a short dress like the one you described.

Avon sells a gloss called Slick Tints, there is a shade called Glossy Wine. I used this color when I was younger, it looks nice on lips and just gives a hint of darker color. I think it would be nice on your girl.

I also think trying out different items and finding the one that works for you would be good too. If she does make a mess of her face while the lipstick is on the take a picture and text it to the bride and tell her "she only had this on for 3 minutes and this is what she did with it", she may have very fast second thoughts.

Wearing makeup for a special occasion like a wedding can be fun and NOT life changing. If she does end up wearing the lipstick then make sure she blots it off very well and don't add gloss.

Here's a link to Avon's Slick Tints:
http://shop.avon.com/shop/product.aspx?pf_id=6783

Hi K. -

What does mom of niece think?

I don't know, I tend to think, what's the big deal and what harm can be done? Say she wears the dress and lipstick for the ceremony and pictures, then you put some tights on her and wipe the lipstick off after? Or even change her out of the dress altogether? The bride will be on such a high and so happy that day, she will hardly even notice.

If it bothers you or the mom, then say something and make suggestions (longer dresses, pink lip gloss, etc.) Maybe the bride just honestly didn't realize what she was asking for?

Dark red lipstick on a 7-year old flower girl??? Kind of garish, don't you think? I'm not adverse to putting a little bit of lipstick and eye shadow on my daughter, who is almost 6, for those rare special occassions but it's always done with a light touch and usually consists of colored lipgloss and a neutral glittery shadow.

I get that the bride wants to achieve a certain look for her wedding party, so that the photos turn out well. And I get that it is her special day and that this will hopefully be her one and only wedding so she wants it to be a certain way. And she's also probably a lot younger than I am and of a generation where girls wore makeup at a younger age perhaps. Maybe, if you are open to it, suggesting to the bride that your daughter wear makeup that is complimentary to the other bridemaids and the outfits but more youthful. Maybe take your daughter in to one of the department stores in your area and have a makeover done at one of the cosmetic counters there so that you can get some professional tips on which products to use and how best to apply it. The bride can come along to give her input and maybe the three of you can go out to dinner afterward and make a special evening out of it.

Hope this helps.

Well I think you have to either agree to it or not have your niece in the wedding. It is a little weird to me personally, bc kids are so beautiful, why such a dark lipstick? But it is her wedding so she is making the decisions. Now it would be considerate of her to ask if it was ok for your niece to wear make-up, but some people just don't realize these things, especially if they don't have kids. Of course whatever her mama says is the final word in my opinion, and she doesn't have to be in the wedding. But I think it would be hard on her bc she is already excited about it. In the end I think it is one day, your niece gets to feel like a princess and I don't see the overall harm. Just think of those little bity girls in pageants, they wear tons of make-up and it doesn't seem to hurt their skin or anything. Best wishes whatever you all decide, have fun at the wedding!!:)

Oh, my gosh...Does this bride actually think guests are going to say, "Oh, how terribly tragic...the flower girl's lipstick doesn't match the other bridesmaids!" This is ridiculous! I let all my bridesmaids were whatever makeup they wanted and never expected my flower girls to wear any. They were little girls and would look cute no matter what. Makeup shouldn't match the color of the dress, flowers, etc. anyway. It should be appropriate/different depending on each person's complexion.

Ha! Good luck with that! Until I was about 16 it didn't matter what I had on my lips (chap stick, etc) I licked, chewed and ate it off. Some bloomers or color coordinated shorts under the short dress is a good idea, too (unless she's wearing tights).

I dont think that it is a huge issue really. it is just one day, it is special and like you said big girl for the day...not every day, just this one special fun time. if you are really really not okay w/ the dark red, can you say since she is younger and a flower girl not a bridesmaid ask if it can just be a shade lighter? good luck and have fun.

do a test run and let her try it on -- clown? Then maybe you can find a dark lip gloss or something calmer that would make her appear more made-up without looking ridiculous. You can even talk to the bride about this saying it would make her stand out and take away from the flow of bridesmaids, which she clearly doesn't want. Generally, I think it's OK for one day, for a special occasion. Although I let my 5-year-old wear lip gloss to school, so who am I to say...

Whether or not it's meant to sexualize the child, it will. Just stand up to the bride. Weddings are not just for brides to have all their demands met by their stressed out, overspent relatives. There is something bigger going on here and the girls lips shouldn't make or break her day. That being said, if it doesn't bother you guys too much, there is certainly no lasting except the ridiculous pics.

yuk. does she want her to wear matching boobs too?

While I don't normally agree with young girls wearing make-up, I do understand the reasoning behind wanting her to match everyone else. I think, in this one circumstance, it will be ok for her to have the lipstick on, but your daughter should know it's just this once, which she seems to realize already. Is there any way to maybe color-match the color of your daughter's dress, instead of the flowers? Maybe that would be a more age-appropriate shade?

I can't imagine that would look decent on a 7 year old. Perhaps she would compromise on a light pink lip color (preferably a stay on type) and a dark red accessory like a flower, hair ribbon, bow or something. A glue gun, hair clip, some ribbons and ribbon roses could make a nice hair accessory.

It has crossed my mind a little demonstration might help. Bring your daughter to visit your friend in a cheap or old white shirt. First show her whatever light, child appropriate make up you recommend. Then put some inexpensive red lipstick on her and let her loose (preferably at the bride's house). She will probably get the point.

If the skirt is really short you could have your daughter wear shorts underneath (white/nude/pale pink). That is what a lot of women's undergarments look like--flesh colored bike shorts.

How about a little sparkly beige under her eyebrows, a splash of blush and some liploss. She doesn't need to look like a miniature LasVegas showgirl :P Why not give your toned-down color palette a dress rehearsal and email her photos. If she still pushes for her color scheme do a trial of those and snap the same photos. The difference will be alarming as I'm assuming the 7yr old isn't wearing a bright red cocktail dress like the "ladies".

I think you don't have a say over the dress because it's your friend's wedding but I would tell her that your daughter isn't allowed to wear makeup. Is there a compromise you guys can reach where she can wear a lighter shade of lip gloss maybe? I was involved in modeling for a bit when I was younger and the one agent used to say nothing looked more ridiculous to him than a little girl wearing a ton of makeup in pictures. I don't think she's going to be happy with her wedding pictures if she has your daughter where the same dark, ADULT shade of lipstick because while the bridemaid's may look beautiful, I think it's going to be silly (clownish?) seeing a little girl with makeup like that. Of course talk to her from the perspective you know this is her big day and you want it to be everything she wants it to be, but that you have concerns about your daughter in regards to makeup.

Hello K., As the Event Planner of 200 weddings from one sideof the country to Guam and back, I wanted to add my 2 cents.
It is highly needed for a "Flower Girl" which means child- to wear make up of any sort. The fact that it is a child in the blush of life is what its all about. A child, fresh and young and later grown into the bride that comes down the asile. I have no idea why anyone would want a child in red anyway--- she is a child and children doing what children do will get it smeared all over her dress before she even gets near the asile. Believe me no one will notice anything beautiful about the child, the flowers or her dress-- only the adult color on her mouth and how it is not normal. Ask someone a week later about the wedding and they will mention the childs lips not the bride!
As for the child's dress I can appreciate it not being a long one I have seen so many girls get hurt by tripping on them BUT you do want to be sure that it is plenty long enough for her to twirl around in and not be exposed becasue for sure it will catch the eyes of those taking photos and and he will get several shots of it and what a waste that is.
Remind the bride that since this is an important day she should not get so caught up in the small details or she will not get to enjoy the day or the moment...and in all reality once the main event starts it is all a blurr of excitement for the next several hours.
So come on folks let the little girl be little maybe a red lip gloss since she has heard about it or chapstick since that shines the lips.
Good Luck

The fact that you are questioning the request for your daughter to wear red lipstick shows that you are not comfortable with it. I didn't read all the answers but my opinion is NO. It is not the brides child and she should not decide if the child wears make up. A seven year old will look gaudy in red lipstick,regardless of what everyone is wearing. Besides, a flower girl is complimentary to the bridesmaids - she is not one of them. Often their outfits are different but complimentary. A little lip gloss should be fine. Does she really want everyone talking about the flower girl that looks like showgirl instead of HER on her wedding day? Brides get caught up in every minute detail of their day, not realizing in a few years most of those details will be forgotten or seem unimportant. Stand your ground - it's your daughter.

I can see why this can be debate-able, but I don't see a really big deal about it. I imagine that she will have the make-up for the wedding itself and then you can take it off for the reception.

When we are home, my four girls love to play with make-up. They never wear it seriously, but they have fun with it (and I don't even wear makeup more than twice a month myself!). This is kinda similar... weddings for flower girls are like a dress-up excuse and some fun. AND- it isn't like she'll be going out in public with a "get-up", she'll be with YOU and a lot of people you know (I assume), and then make-up comes off for the reception. No big deal, I say.

The bride wants things to be matchy-matchy, sounds to me like not too big of a request is what she's asking.

One mom mentioned that they should only wear makeup on stage... I don't even know if I agree with that, but- BEING IN A WEDDING IS LIKE BEING ON STAGE! I think its fine! May I even mention that we moms here put our daughters in teeny bathing suits every summer at the pool and elsewhere? SHOULD I go there? I don't think it is necessary to "go there"!

Also, on the comments about pedophiles- we as moms cannot change what is in a sick pedophile's mind. Lipstick isn't going to change anyone's mind one way or the other- a person thinks what they think, and that is why they need us to be there. Lipstick won't cause a non-pedophile to be one and NO lipstick won't cause a pedophile to back off. They are what they are. I certainly don't make my daughters dress like "hoochies", and I won't let them do it when they get older-but that is different than this situation. I think way too many mommies are taking this to be extreme.

Good Luck and have FUN!

(This is coming from a morally conservative mom of four girls)

I would be very irritated if I gave permission for my child to be a flower girl in someone's wedding, and then the bride picked her out a short dress and got her all excited about wearing dark lipstick before even speaking to me about those details. Neither DH nor I would want our young daughter looking like that, it screams inappropriate to me. Personally, I would tell the bride I wasn't comfortable with my daughter on public display looking like a "mini-adult" If matching color is so important, what about a matching hair bow or headband instead of the lipstick. Matching nail polish, would be better too. Not a fan of the dress length either, but if it is already purchased and can't be altered, I would make sure there was enough coverage with tights and/or bloomers.

I don't know..that's kind of a tough call. I can kind of see letting her do it for one day, but I don't know about the shade of lipstick. That seems a little dark for a 7 year old. I don't think it would look right. I think she'd wind up looking like a little clown.

On a totally different note, I can't ever imagine dictating what shade of lipstick my bridesmaids had to wear. Geez!

I am all about Mineral make up and healthy options for my face and I am teaching that to my 8 yr old daughter. I ONLY allow make up on special occassions, weddings would qualify. I do feel little girls should look like little girls so make up has to be applied with a gentle hand. I agree with the other callers to dab the red lightly on the lips and use a lip gloss over it. It will give the red color without her losing her little girl look.

Congradulations to the Happy couple and hope your neice has a blast in her big girl dress and make up. Being a flower girl is such a fun time, my daughter loved it when she was one.

I would ask the bride if she could find a lighter shade in the same family for the little flower girl. She's not a bridesmaid, so their's no reason for her to match exactly with them. But there's also no reason she can't wear a little lipstick or lipgloss for the wedding either. But I don't think it needs to be a bright red.

Yikes what a short dress! Get your daughter some white bloomers perhaps to go underneath, as it's certain her underwear will show at some point in the night.

Dark red on a 7 yr old? Perhaps you could just dab on the dark red so that it's not quite so dark, but still matching. Sounds kinda weird. Maybe she could just put on the lipstick for the photos, then take it off.

But you're the mom. Try doing a 'dress rehearsal' and look at what your daugther looks like. If you think it's too much for a little girl, tell your friend that either we need to change this and this or that your daughter can't be in the wedding explaining why you can't do this. Better than having hundreds of pictures where you think your daughter is just awful-looking. Granted, your daughter might hate being taken out of the wedding, so you may have to make up for it by doing something very special (day at the spa, an amusement park....).

Good luck. And this is your neice.... what does her mom or other relatives think?