Breastfeeding Balance

hes still young it will get markedly better in the next 2 to 3 weeks....its too bad we dont have longer maternity leave, good luck! you work out of the home pumping moms deserve a medal!!!!! you wont regret sticking with it so please get some rest when you can, go to bed early, sleep all weeekend...its a short period of time where its hell! I have a 2 week old and though i dont work out of the home i have an older child so i cant just sleep whenever and i am DYING! but i know it too shall pass ( hopefully SOON!)

Formula isn't poison, but I'd hate for you to give up breastfeeding because of what may just be a rough patch or a growth spurt.

If you supplement with formula, you shouldn't stop pumping. Otherwise, you face a good chance of losing your supply altogether. Offer the breast first and a few ounces of formula to top him off.

A four week old infant can't be expected to be on any sort of schedule. At least not one that isn't going to change with the wind!

Make sure you are getting enough healthy calories. A lot of lean protein, whole grains, and vegetables. Plenty of non-caffeinated fluids. Oatmeal can boost your supply, as can a myriad of herbal supplements.

From what I remember, 2-6 weeks was the hardest...and I hadn't even gone back to work yet!

However, I can tell you that it can work! I am a single, working mother without any family close by and my daughter was on 100% breastmilk for nearly 10 months before she started solids. I pumped at work for the first year and she nursed until 18 months. I even had to travel several days at a time for work.

It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible either.

I have to respectfully disagree with Grandma T. I in no way think formula is poison. But, if a mom starts substituting formula this early in the game, her milk supply is going to tank and it won't be long before the baby is on all formula. Which is fine if mom wants to stop breastfeeding, but it sounds like she was looking for ways to continue nursing for the time being. A month old is normally not on any schedule. They eat and sleep when they feel like it. His nursing behavior is very typical for a newborn, especially for a 4 week old going through a growth spurt. Things will calm down. I do think it's really hard to go back to work so early after giving birth and try to establish breastfeeding. I put some links about growth spurts and normal newborn behavior.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurt.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

The kellymom website is a very respected wonderful resource for breastfeeding moms. Check out the forums with include a pumping forum with many knowledable ladies in the same boat.

Some things you could try come to mind...

-Make sure you're using slow flow nipples

-Learn how to pump handsfree so you can do things like eat and type on mamapedia while you pump. They sell handsfree pumping bras, but this is what I did: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/hands-free-pumping.html

-Nurse on one side and pump the other at the same time.

-Consider cosleeping or at least how to nurse side lying: http://www.babyzone.com/baby/feeding_nutrition/breastfeed...

-Maybe consider talking to the lactation consultant who helped you in the hospital? Usually they are a free resource if you've given birth there. They could also reevaluate your latch just to double check that he's nursing efficiently.

-Know that every time he nurses, he is stimulating you to increase your supply and make more milk. I remember very well how exhausting the constant nursing is since my first didn't take pacifiers OR bottles. It may seem overwhelming, but it takes about 3-4 months to get your supply established, so if breastfeeding is very important to you, remember that all the crazy nursing is there for a reason and it DOES get better. As far as using you as a pacifier, it's exhausting, but it's normal. It's why man-made pacifiers are nipple shaped. You're fulfilling your child's needs not spoiling him.

I think you're AMAZING for breastfeeding, pumping and working! It is not easy to do that and you have to be really dedicated. Working and nursing can be incredibly challenging although not impossible. I know a few people who ended up exclusively pumping and working and they made it work. Good luck!! (And congrats on your new baby.)

I agree with everything Kristine W says. Your situation is EXACTLY why we need some kind of paid maternity leave program in this country. That you have to go back to work so early is really hard on you and the baby because he is so young. There will be a huge difference from him at the end of 3 months and this will be easier, I promise you. I co-slept with all of my babies and it's really the only thing that made working and nursing possible. See if that helps get you over this hump and as he gets a little older, he'll figure himself out and will nurse more efficiently, his sucking need will decrease (or he'll take a paci or some other kind of soothing), and he'll go a little longer between feedings. You're doing a great job - do the best you can and it will get better in a few weeks!

Honey, I have been there.

Kellymom.com and Nursing Mother, Working Mother are good resources.

I also agree to try cosleeping or at least figure out how you can nurse him and go back to bed. It's amazing what you can do half-asleep!

Bear in mind that he's only 4 weeks old and still learning. And breastmilk is digested faster so those 2 ounces or so (my DD started daycare at 12 weeks with about 2-2.5 ounces per bottle, several times a day) will go faster. It's normal. And with every week you'll see changes, probably til he hits 6 mo. or so and then it should even out with the addition of solid foods (but milk before solids).

Hang in there. I know it's rough at first. You'll get a schedule, he'll learn to sleep longer, etc. These first few weeks/months are just a blur for everybody. It's not just you.

How/when are you pumping? Try nursing one side and pumping the other, pumping in the car when you are driving (HANDS FREE, of course), etc. I only pumped 3x a day at work. I'd nurse at 6AM, pump at 9, 12 and 3, and nurse her again when we got home around 6:30 (with them giving her a bottle before pickup b/c we had a long ride). Remember, just a few ounces at this age is a meal.

If you can try to hang on you will find a balance. The first 6 weeks of nursing, babies can be all over the place. He's working to get your supply where it needs to be. My second would sometimes nursing like crazy then the next feed not so much.

Stress will make it tougher for you to pump and get the milk to flow. You aren't really going to get a ton right now anyway. A breastfed baby isn't going to take in the same amounts that a formula fed baby would be.

When you do give him a bottle try the Playtex nurser with the latex (brown) *slow* flow nipple. That is the most like breastfeeding that I found when trying to get my preemie from hospital bottles to me so he could nurse exclusively.

Neither of my ebf babies would take a paci. Maddening I know! But get a mayawrap or mei tai for when you are home. That way baby can nurse, suckle, be close and your hands are free. My mayawrap was a life-saver with my high needs preemie who needed to be help all. the. time.

Remember, baby is still in the "4th trimester". He is learning to navigate the world outside the womb so he wants,needs, craves the comforts he had in the womb. He's barely a month old. He's staying on the breast to stay close to you and get comfort. Google 4th trimester and this will help you understand better why he is doing what he is doing.

If you are comfortable co-sleeping that can help you get some rest at night. breastfed babies are good at lying down and nursing. Again, life-saver with my preemie.

co-sleep!!! pump one side while nursing the other side!!

I was a single Mother - with extremely unsupportive family and friends and working full time, but was still able to exclusively breastfeed while at home and pump as much as I could. I did this with little sleep deprivation because I slept with my baby and allowed her complete access during sleeping.

Your son will get more proficient and efficient at suckling and won't take so long by about the 4th month - after his first huge growth spurt. You;'ll know it's the growth spurt because he'll be needing to feed constantly and will seem unsatisfied - but truthfully he is creating a stimulis to your body to produce more milk.

While at work, try to pump at least every 2 hours - and fight for your rights as a nursing/pumping Mother in the workforce. Obama just passed a federal law about employers making time for pumping Moms to pump. Also, Arizona probably has it's own laws to help breastfeeding Mothers too.

my little guy is 2.5 months old and all I can say is it does get better. I'm a SAHM but because he used to nurse so much I pump and dad gives him a bottle at night, has since 3 weeks old, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten more than 20 minutes of sleep for the first 6 weeks. There are days I can get an 8 ounce bottle off one side when I pump and days when I can pump both sides and be lucky to get 3 onces, it varies greatly, even being home I have topped off a bottle with an ounce of formula, call me lazy or whatever but I'm a much better mom if I can at least get a 3-4 hour nap at night. My little guy doesn't take a paci either, half the time if I try he gags, although we are having more luck now that he is older. We still use the soothie brand the hospital gave us, while we have bought advent, mam and nuk, the soothie is the only one we have ever had even 5 minutes of luck with. You can do formula while you work, or add formula to breast milk to make it last a little longer, and your supply will regulate so you can nurse when you are home, but if you can make it another few weeks you are likely to start to see a schedule emerging with him and it won't be so stressful. I'm not saying it will be easy, I still wonder every day how much longer I can keep this up, this is the only 1 of my 4 that I have breastfed, but it gets a little easier every week. And actually the past few days he has slept from 12:30-6 and only taken the one bottle from dad about halfway through.

This is one of the toughest phases. It really does get easier. I just wanted to second the co-sleeping. I found it to be a lifesaver! If you can put him in bed with you and latch him on when he wakes, you can go right back to sleep. It took a couple of nights to really get the hang of it (I had to turn the light on to get him latched on the first few nights), but it is so worth it!

My first I nursed while home and when I went back to work I just let myself dry up, my second did not sleep and I gave up right away, Now my 3rd is almost 3 months and I have been back to work for 2 months and still breastfeeding her. I am hoping to go the whole year!!! I do not make enough for her to only get breast milk so we use some formula to substitute. I pump 3 times in a 10 hour day and then breast feed her twice when I get home. It seems to be going great and it is a great bonding with my little one. I also cosleep and that has saved me! We do a lot of nursing while lying down. It took a while for both of us to get a hang of that, but it is great to doze and she can eat all she wants! Good luck! Keep it up for as long as you can. It really does pay off in the end as my middle one that did not get much breast milk is ALWAYS sick while my oldest does not get sick very much at all.

Adjusting to back to work is hard, and four weeks is early for you guys.

When I needed to go back to work, I had my daughter on formula when I was gone and BF when I was home. I pumped enough during the day to stay comfortable, usually at lunch break, but I didn't have any way of keeping/storing the milk, so I had to dump it. This also kept my milk coming so I could feed her all day on weekends. This worked for us up to 11 months (when she decided she was done BFing).

She never took a pacifier either. I agree that he is seeking comfort by being attached to you for an hour at a time. Usually 10 - 20 mins per feeding would be enough.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that around 3-4 weeks, babies usually go through a growth spurt, and will therefore eat more/longer for a week or so before settling on an amount. This happens again at 6-8 weeks too. Also, at night your breastmilk is different...less foremilk and more hindmilk, which contains hormones that will make him tired, and eventually help him to sleep better. Even though sometimes it seems he nurses forever and is getting nothing, trust that your body knows what is going on and is giving him what he needs.

With my first, my college semester started when my daughter was only 3 weeks old. It seemed like life was a blur. I ended up going to formula during the day and only nursing in the evening/night after 4 months of breastfeeding. It's better for him the longer you nurse him, but you have to weigh what's "worth it" for you. Good luck!

I too was thinking it's a growth spurt. That's tough to be going back to work and keeping up with a growth spurt. And I also say what others have said - it will get easier. Some babies will switch to nursing frequently at night in this situation - so they'll sleep a lot while you're gone and then nurse often at night. (Which is why co-sleeping will keep you sane.)

You sound like you're doing a great job so far!

Our 4th will not take a paci either and LOVED to suck!

Do you nurse him thru the night? Do you nurse him while laying down? You can dose off and he can keep going to town...

My 4th (who is now 9 months old) is a light sleeper and nosey... when ever she is moved her eyeballs pop back open...Which means she wants to suck some more... Perhaps try nursing laying down with him.

It will slow down and spread out... But it just takes time...

I agree to try co-sleeping. I was such a pro at it that sometimes I wouldn't even remember waking up to get him to latch on. That was weird the first time it happened, though!

I also agree with Sue. After a few weeks back to work, I had my son on formula during the day and I pumped and dumped at work. Originally I had a place to store milk at work and then that was taken away, so I really didn't have a choice. I pumped twice a day, mid morning and mid afternoon, so I wasn't losing much. I would nurse right before leaving him at daycare and as soon as I got home and then throughout the evening and night as needed. My supply didn't suffer at all. It is better to at least be able to breastfeed some of the time than to not do it at all. I liked him being used to formula so there wasn't as much stress when I had to travel for work. He was comfortable switching between breast milk reserve and formula. If you do this, invest in a good pump and make sure you make the time to do it. I set a calendar reminder at work and made myself stop what I was doing to pump. Sometimes that meant pumping a little bit earlier or later than normal or switching some meeting times, but I was diligent about not missing a pumping session. I kept this up about 10 months and then started weaning and cutting out the work pumpings, so you can keep this up a long time. Good luck.

Your little guy sounds 100% healthy and normal. And sounds like an IDEAL nurser. He's also super smart for rejecting an artificial nipple, which will affect your milk supply (protect it all costs, esp. if you are pumping as much as you are!) and could lead to nipple confusion.

Someone explained to me that a new baby will eat for about an hour and if you're lucky, will go 2 hours between feedings. Divided into a 24 hour day, that's a FULL TIME JOB. So you're struggling to find the balance between 2 full time jobs. Not easy. He's too young to be on any schedule. His stomach is not even the size of his fist right now. Think small rubber ball. He needs to eat frequently and he digests your wonderful breastmilk very quickly.

Learn to nurse laying down and co-sleep. Get a sling and learn to nurse in it. Nurse as much as you can when you are home to keep that supply up. Let go of any need for a perfectly clean house or folded laundry. THIS is your most important job right now. He's not comfort nursing. You ARE his pacifier at this point and there's a biological reason for that!

It gets better. Stick with it and the rewards are great! It's hard now for all new, breastfeeding moms. Ask for help if you need it. Good luck!

It does sound like he's using you as a pacifier. Feedings shouldnt take that long. Your milk is probably gone within the first 10 minutes on each side.
You might put him on formula for when you arent home and nurse when you are... that would eliminate your pumping dilemma. I think that's what I would do if I would have had to go back to work while nursing. At least this way your milk supply would fit both of your needs and you wouldnt need the pump time anymore. You wont poison him with formula and it sounds like the solution to try so that you can keep breast feeding without all the stress ruining it for you.

first of all....congratulations on your new little one...your life is going to be so much fun as you watch him grow and change.
secondly..that change is what can help you maintain your sanity...when something like this is happening, just keep telling yourself that this is a "phase" and will be gone before you know it. He is still trying to get himself adjusted to life outside the womb...and nursing is more than just nutrition, it is bonding and suckling and comfort. When my 3 year old grandson is not feeling well he still ups his nursing time with Mama...it just feels good to be cuddled and soothed.
I so agree with the idea of getting a mayawrap ( google them) it will keep you from feeling "tied down" as he nurses on those long nursing sessions...you can go ahead and do a lot of things you need or want to do around the house and he can get the nursing time that he needs and wants.
I breastfed all three of my children and NONE of them would ever take a pacifier, they rejected them so completely than I KNEW there was no use even trying it after the first or second attempt. I think that the pacifier is so totally different than the breast that it just isn't comforting to them.
Hang in there...it will get better...I promise...and you will look back on the times that you spent breastfeeding your little boy with SUCH warm memories...and a heartfull of love....I still do...and my "baby" is 27 years old!!!

Dear mom, did you say you are either attached to your baby or the pump when you are NOT at work? Does that mean you aren't pumping at work but doing so at home when you could be nursing instead? Is pumping at work not feasible? If so, I am sorry. That is what is driving you crazy. Pumping s supposed to be done instead of a nursing session when you are away from the baby, once you've built up a supply at home, not when you could otherwise be breastfeeding him directly. There are laws now that give a nursing mom the right to pump at work. Look into it. If it's still nt possible, try pumping in the car on your way to or from work or during lunch. There are bras sold at target that allow hands-free pumping. Furthermore, you can't expect a one month old baby to be on a schedule, specially not a breastfed baby. Breastfed babiea are supposed to eat on demand for as long as they need to. Some babies are more effective than others and may only nurse from one side and be satisfied for a few hours while others may nurse on the hour for a few minutes or for long periods of time from both breasts. I have nursed my 3 children and they had completely different nursing needs. You need to think about what is important to you and your baby, come to terms with it and enjoy the experience. You are doing the best for your baby and yourself. Regarding the pacifier, if your baby is not taking one it may explain why he's at the breast for so long as he's not satisfying his sucking needs unless he's at the breast, but you can't blame him. After all, pacifiers were designed after woman's nipples. He's basically waiting for you to come home from work to satisfy his sucking urges, of which he has no control of. I am sorry you had to return to work so soon after the birth of your baby, be patient with him, he needs you and misses you and breastfeeding him when you get home should be a wonderful time to reconnect with him. Once you come to terms with this, you will relax as soon as he latches on and you will look forward to your nursing sessions. If not doing so already, take your baby to bed with you at night so that he has access to you without either of you having to wake up to nurse. I have done it from day one and it's made all the difference for us. Hang in there. It will get better.