S.W.
Each woman is different. I had a similar experience to yours, and it wasn't until my dughter was a year old, and I weaned her, that I was truly able to focus on my body and what it needed in order to get back into shape. Unfortunately, I found out that I was pregnant again a few months after, so here I am again, and I am very concerned with gaining weight yet again since I did not have the time to lose everything I gained with my daughter. You may not be able to find a happy medium while you are breastfeeding your son, but it is only a short period of time out of your life, and it makes a world of difference in his. I have chosen not to breastfeed with my second child, not for this reason exclusively, but for many other reasons. So no judgement here, it is all about health and what is best for you and your baby. Once you wean your son, you will be able to focus on putting in your body only what your body needs, and with effort, you will be back in shape in time, though you'll never have the exact same pre-pregnancy shape. There is no way to stress how drastically pregnancy can change a woman's body.