B.S.
I agree with the othger advice. Read, contact the La Leche League (free breastfeeding support), talk to a lactation consultant about the problems you had before so that you already have solutions in placefor baby #3.
B.
Hi moms,
I am looking to you all once again for some advice. I attempted to breastfeed my first child and we just didn't mesh well while trying so I formula fed, because of the hard time I had with my 1st, I opted not to do it with my 2nd, we are planning on having a third and will start trying this month, I am having thoughts that I would like to try to breastfeed. Do any of you have some advice on where to look for techniques, support, etc. for breastfeeding? I am so scared that I will attempt it and it will "fail" again like it did with my first. The feelings that I had of failure with my first were unbelieveable and I certainly don't want to feel that way again. I know it's a trying process and I am willing to put in the effort, I just need that extra boost. :) Thanks!!!
Wow! Thank you all so much for your responses. I will check it all out and get some books ready. :) I had a doula with my 2nd pregnancy and know that the woman who was my doula has since opened up her own business with breastfeeding help and support so I will look to her and her help as well. I am hoping it will work out, if not, I know the child would be just fine...heck, my other two are :)
Thank you all so very much again, it's truly appreciated.
I agree with the othger advice. Read, contact the La Leche League (free breastfeeding support), talk to a lactation consultant about the problems you had before so that you already have solutions in placefor baby #3.
B.
If breastfeeding is something you're opting to do, definitely try it. I have 3 kids. With my first, it just didn't work, my second was a little better, I breastfed for a few months, with my 3rd, she took to it immediately. Each child is different. You should try and if you need it, ask for help from the consultants at the hospital. They are really great. Good luck!
I would really try it. It's an instinct that the baby should have, so if you give it a week, it should work out. I found it really helpful to talk to a woman at La Leche League. She doesn't mind if I call her at odd hours, and she is so supportive. I have talked to other LLL people who are not quite the perfect match for me, so you might want to get all the names of LLL people in your area. Also, the nurses at the hospital and our community nurse that visited in the first week helped get the breastfeeding started. It's very weird to have some strange woman grabbing onto your breast and the baby's head, but I guess they know what they're doing. also, I found some kind of animation movie online about breastfeeding that illustrated how the baby moves their jaw in a chewing motion and the milk squirts their soft palate, and then they swallow. I don't have a link or anything but you could search around. I found it really useful to learn how the whole process actually works. As I ramble on... I also read a book about breastfeeding, as I was breastfeeding early on. I couldn't just sit there! And it was good education. It reminded me about how milk production is stimulated by emptying the milk glands and ducts, so you have to keep it up, and it will keep up as much as the baby is demanding.
Good luck!
HI J., I think you can do it. You know what to expect (unlike me as a new mom, I had NO idea what was in store for me) and I think if you go into it with the right mindset, you will feel much better about it. I think this would mean to not go into it already fearing that you will fail. Don't worry because there is no such thing as failing! Because you've succeeded just by trying and giving your baby what you can. It took me some time too to stop beating myself up all of the time and when I stopped breast-feeding after 7 weeks (I had to return to work and I was quite tired of pumping and I wanted my boobs back!). I gave it my best and I had to realize that. I had to be satisfied with what I did. Some people never try, and that is their well respected decision and right. I've found that the more people I talked to about my trials and stresses, the better I felt. I had a lactation consultant and she was a saint! There is always the La Leche League (go online) and you can find meetings in your area for support. You NEED support. Join websites and talk to anyone who will listen. Just take it easy, breath, and know that no matter what you decide your baby will be healthy. It is entirely up to YOU what you need to do and don't let anyone make you feel othewise.
Isis Maternity centers offer FREE drop in breastfeeding groups. It's great because you bring along your baby and have an opportunity to listen to others questions as well. They also have lactation consultants you can meet with individually.
I had trouble breastfeeding my first child and decided to try it again with my second. It worked out great with my second child -he is now 13 mos. and even though I work full time he still breatfeeds in the am and before bed at night.
The hospital where you end up giving birth should be able to help you out in the early going. Some have lactation consultants on staff. I recommed meeting with one before leaving the hospital with the baby. Some hospitals also offer continued support with lactation issues.
Good Luck!
Hi J.,
I know how you feel I had such a hard time nursing my first son and felt awful when it just wasn't working for us but I nursed my second no problem at all for the first year. Good luck to you.
Hi J.,
I would also highly recommend the book "The Nursing Mother's Companion" by Kathleen Huggins. For me, it served as a very non-judgemental resource and was a lifesaver with my first child.
LaLecheLeague is wonderful. Personally though, I was more comfortable with the lactation consultant at my OB's office. She was incredibly supportive of breastfeeding but did not make me feel at all pressured. Despite lots of early problems I was able to exclusively breastfeed my first child,now 3, and am currently nursing my 8-month-old.
It's not easy. Take all the help you can get. And, don't feel at all like a failure if it does not work out. Be proud of yourself for trying again.
Best of luck!
S.
Hey J.,
Some places to look that I would recommend....
KellyMom.com is absolutely amazing. Tons of support, forums and information.
Also, Breastfeeding Book by Dr. William Sears- or check out the website at AskDrSears.com
La Leche League also has a book called the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Good luck in your breastfeeding quest!
A.
I know it's a little far from you, but Lactation Care (lacationcare.com) in Newton is WONDERFUL! They were so supportive and helpful and NEVER made me feel bad that I was giving my son some formula because he was having a hard time latching. I absolutely would have quit breastfeeding my second child after two weeks if not for them. (I ended up almost exclusively nursing for three months, and then weaned at 4.5 months when I went back to work). The woman who runs the place is Dot, and there are a few other women who work there as well. If you're worried, I recommend calling now before the baby is born and just checking in. They're a truly wonderful resource.
The other thing that I recommend is to give yourself a break. I do understand that feeling of "failing," but remember that you are a great mom to two great kids, and they are nourished and healthy. I see no failure there at all. So you will try your best with this one too, but perspective is key. Think of it like a diet. You know that salads and whole grains and lean meats are the best things for you to eat, but sometimes having some cake or ice cream is fine too. If you put your best foot forward with the breastfeeding, get the support that you need, if you need to supplement with formula, don't apologize for it. Embrace it as part of the way you parent and go from there.
Good luck!
My advice is to seek professional help. It is REALLY hard starting out but if you can find someone like a lactation consultant at the hospital or at your pediatrician's office they will figure out how to make it work for you. The first few weeks are a struggle but then it just feels more and more natural every day. If you have a C-Section you will still be in the hospital when your milk comes in. I think I called the lactation consultant to come to my room about 4x per day. ha! They help me figure it out though & I was able to breastfeed my son for 13 months. Anyway, good luck to you!
We struggled breastfeeding, too--I highly recommend a lactation consultant! I am still breastfeeding my son. Without the help of our LC, this surely would not be so.
Many folks recommended a lactation consultant - our pediatrician's office has one and she was wonderful!! Also, having a friend or friends who is/was breastfeeding is a great source of support. Also, not sure where you are located, but Lowell General has a new mothers' support group - I realize that you're not a new mother, but it was run by a lactation specialist - not sure if it currently you but you can check easily enough.
Hi J.,
I totally understand about the challenges with breastfeeding! I had a lot of trouble as well, but now, with (lots of) help from what I call the "Lactation Angels", my baby girl and I are breastfeeding champs. I strongly encourage you to seek professional help - I did and it changed everything for me. I went to a wonderful woman in Newton who has her own business (and 6 kids of her own!). She and her staff provide me much advice, suggestions, encouragement and support. I went to them one time for the initial "HELP!" and went another time for a much-needed follow up. I had lots of support phone calls from them for the first month+ (unsolicited - they just called to check up on me and I always benefited from their additional support and advice via the phone). I still call them for additional support (all phone calls are free of charge. Live visits cost some $, but it's totally worth it. In fact, I wanted to pay them more, I was so grateful!) They were incredible. You bring yourself, your partner or whomever is supporting you, and your baby to them and you'll be amazed at the differnce a little guidance makes. Here is their info: Lactation Care, Inc. ###-###-####. The owner's name is Dot Norcross. I saw her and recommend asking for her...They're AMAZING!
Good luck, J.. We are rooting for you!
~Z. (new Mom to 9 week old baby)
I had horrible feelings of failure with brestfeeding my first child. She never latched well, she seemed to hate it, I got upset and tense so it made it worse, and being a new mom at the time, I was a mess and never knew where I could turn for help!! I ended up basically pumping for three months - not fun. Two years later when my youngest was born, I tried again and it was a MUCH better and totally different situation. She got it, I got it, and it went beautifully the entire time I did it. I think with it being your third, you will be more relaxed about the whole parenting thing anyway, so you can just focus on getting the right hold and latch for the baby. The rest will fall into place. If you need help, most hospitals have staff trained in that area to help you, there is always La Leche League, and of course, mamasource! Just give it a good try and stay positive. Keep an open mind - don't put so much pressure on yourself that it has the opposite effect. Remember, stress levels affect milk letting down and just get in the way of the whole thing! Tell yourself you will see how it goes and take it day by day. I bet you will be just fine!!! Good luck!
My sister had a very similar situation. first child did not take to breastfeeding and she finally gave up at about 3 mths after lost of emotional stress. She tried again with the 2nd and her daughter was such an avid nurser that she had to be forced to wean at 14 mo!! I guess my advice to you is one experience does not dictate what the next experience will be - kinda like childbirth. My first was a nightmare being born (but healthy!), my second was a serene experience, and my 3rd came so quick I had him on the sofa and was in complete shock so got no enjoyment from it at all!
Definately give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, so be it. At least you will know and won't spend your life wondering! Best of luck!
Hi J.,
I too had a hard time with my first child, she wasn't latching properly and it was painful. When I tried it with my second one it worked out so easily I couldn't believe it. After my first experience I too was nervous about trying again. Look for a good breastfeeding support group in your area. Just relax because it may work out and if it doesn't there is always formula, no matter what your baby will eat. If you have trouble you could always try pumping into a bottle, if that worls better for you.
Sean
hey J. first of all, good for you for even thinking about it after having such a hard time the first time. not sure where you are having your baby but, south shore hospital has a breastfeeding support group EVERDAY!. you don't have to have your baby there to go either. and it's any age baby. they let you weigh the baby each time and there is a consultant walking around helping out. i went once with my second because i had a tougher time with her than my first. and all the women are in the same boat so you aren't shy about it. good luck in whatever you choose.
I think it is great that you want to try to breastfeeding again. I really struggled in the first three months with my daughter but it gets SO much easier and ends up, IMO, being much easier than formula feeding - not to mention all the health benefits for you and your baby.
I agree with all the info that has already been given so instead of duplicating info I will just post a link to a website that helped me immensely in the beginning months:
http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.php?showforum=7
The website is called Just Mommies and they have tons of boards on there - one specifically for breastfeeding. There are tons of knowledgable ladies on there and I found it super helpful to have women I could ask questions to 24/7.
I wish you the best of luck!
J.,
I'm so sorry you had so much trouble breastfeeding your first baby. And it takes a lot of courage to try again. I would recommend La Leche League - www.llli.org
They have monthly meeting you can attend and if you speak to them - even if you speak to one of the leaders in private they will certainly help. I have always found the ladies to be great in all situations.
Good luck,
L. M
Buy or borrow "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding." It's fantastic!
Hey J.!
So I also tried breastfeeding with Kingston. To us.. It wasn't that instant fit like sometimes you hear. Everytime he would nurse, he would fall asleep after only nursing for 5-10mins in the very begining. I remember in the hospital.. I really had no idea what I was doing, just kinda put him on there & hoped all went well. He kept falling asleep, i had to call the nurse in & she stripped him down to his diaper to keep him awake to eat :)
If your planning on having the baby at the same hospital as the girls & K... There is a lactation specialist who works in the maternity center. i cant remember her name but you can either ask for her when your there or I think they even asked if I'd like her to stop in to help. I of course said yes & She came in at feeding time & boy was she helpful!! She taught the proper latch technique, how to make yourself comfortable & how to make the baby comfortable.. what a world of difference!
For about a month all went well.. Then my milk supply started to dwindle.. that esp happened after i went back to work since I wasnt able to pump frequently. K was breastfed exclusively for about a month then supplemented with formula for the next 2 months. After that my milk supply just didnt keep up.. I know there are things that can be done about that but I just wasn't into 100%. However.. once it was too late I had the worst regret. I missed breastfeeding so much, i felt like I was doing something "wrong" but formula feeding & it really took a while to come to terms with it. Even though K was fine & took right to the formula no problem.
I'd recommend maybe finding some quality books to read. I believe i still have one from the lactation specialist. I'll have to see if I can dig it up, not sure if i gave it away or not. Also, I think the hosp offers a class on breastfeeding so that's another option.
It's just that you can read & prepare all you want but it'll all come together in its own way when the little one is here & you guys will work it out together.
PS- the lactation specialist said it shouldn't hurt.. but let me tell you.. id say for the 1st 2 weeks maybe. OUCH!
Good luck!
H.
All the advice about getting a lactation consultant is right on! I am just now weaning my 13mo. I never could have done it without some help getting started. Also, I'd highly recommend renting a hospital grade pump for the first month or so. I was fortunate in that my HMO covered it. It is a world apart from a manual and made it hugely easier to pump and have my husband do some bottle feedings. You'll need a break in the early weeks when you nurse every 2-3 hours!
You may want to check out a la leche league meeting near you or even just call a local leader. I went to the the LLL website and found that you have a La Leche League right in your town with 4 leaders! Here is their contact info. You can call them anytime to find out about there group meeting location/ time or to ask questions or share your concerns. There are probably several groups in driving distance from where you live and you can check out more than one to see what group fits best with you.
I would definitely encourage you to at least check out their website www.llli.org and go to the resource section. You can find lots of info there straight from breastfeeding experts. Good luck and remember that each baby is different and you may not have the same experience again. As "natural" as breastfeeding is, it is a learned act that takes time and patience. Good info and support is vital.
Tina (Marlborough) ###-###-####
Mary Ellen (Southborough) ###-###-####
Anne Marie (Sudbury) ###-###-####
Kim (Sudbury) ###-###-####
I would check and see if your hospital has lactation consultants - we saw them several times and it helped a TON. It's so worth it - breastfeeding is so, so good for the baby.
Look up your local La Leche League!!! These women are so very knowledgeable about all issues relating to breastfeeding! They will talk on the phone with you, or you can attend a local meeting to talk with a leader and other local mom's who are attempting to breastfeed. It is a very valuable and free resource!
Hi J.,
I successfully breastfed my daughter for over a year, and something that really helped me was a breastfeeding class I took at Newton-Wellesley Hospital (where I delivered). It was just a couple hours one afternoon, but it was really informative, and it gave me the confidence that I could do it. I think a lot of breastfeeding is mental, and you have to have confidence in your body and your baby to do what they need to do. The lactation consultant who taught the class also made herself available via e-mail for questions. I e-mailed her a couple times after I had the baby, and she responded very promptly. Wherever you plan to deliver, I bet they have breastfeeding classes you can take. I highly recommend that. Good luck!