Breastfeeding 3 Mo Old Refuses 2Nd Side During Feedings

Updated on May 19, 2010
M.T. asks from El Reno, OK
10 answers

My son has recently (the last 2 weeks) started to refuse the second side during his feedings, causing me to feed every 2 hours. He's not showing favoritism to either side, he just doesn't want the second breast. In the hospital, and even now, the doctors are wanting him to eat on both sides at every meal. And until 2 weeks ago, he would eat "good" on both sides, and would eat about every 3.5 hours. He started day care (3 days a week) over 4 weeks ago, and there hasn't been a enviromental change since then, and he is still eating every 3.5 to 4 hours at daycare. At daycare, I've asked them to burp him half way through the feeding and then switch arms. He still takes the second half of the bottle, so it doesn't seem to be the positioning, or the burping. Our feeding routine at home- He will latch on to the first side, feed for about 5 - 10 minutes, and then fall off. I burp him, and then offer the second side. This is when he begins crying and squirming. He just isn't hungry anymore. I've even offered the same side a second time, and he still refuses. I guess my questions are, has anyone else experienced this, and what do I do to get him to go longer between feedings? He should be sleeping through the night (which he was before this started - about 6 hours), but now I'm getting up every 2 hours again. Please help...I'm exhausted!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your answers. They were very helpful. I did speak with a lactation consultant, and she said the same thing... it is normal / ok to feed only on one side at a time! Her words were "we can't force them to eat". Thank goodness!!! And, she also thinks that he is going through a growth spurt. We are currently co-sleeping, to get through this time frame. So basicly, I've decided to feed him when he wants it, and not worry. He is a VERY healthy and happy baby, and that makes me a good mommy. Also, I realized...breastfeeding mommies need encouragement and support, as we go through this process. Especially, when we are having a tough time. So, to anyone having a rough go of it that might be reading this post.....Keep trying! DON'T GIVE UP! Your baby is worth the the time and effort (and loss of sleep)! And don't listen to the poeple in your life that may be telling you to give up breastfeeding for pumping or formula...they are CRAZY! You are what is best for your baby! Keep up the good work!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Perhaps he is preferring the bottle nipples to the real ones. Maybe he likes the colder milk from the bottles than the warm milk from you. What about just offering him bottles of breastmilk at home like at daycare. Another benefit is being able to see just how much he is drinking at a time.

M.

More Answers

A.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Have you tried only letting him nurse on the first side for a couple minutes then switching? Maybe hes getting more faster now than he was before and getting full faster...? One of mine did that and I only let them nurse on the first side for about 3 minutes until they got back into a good routine. The reason I suggest this instead of just nursing on one side is because for ME it was uncomfortable to not nurse on the other side. (but i do tend to make a lot of milk so that might be why) All of mine were breastfed and ate every four hours and slept thru the night very early so i agree that it can be done! Don't give up on trying to get him to sleep thru the night its so nice for us mommies to get good sleep so we have more energy for our kiddos!(my 2 month old sleeps from 10 to 8 so it can be done) Hope this helps! Good Luck!

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P.H.

answers from Shreveport on

Our daughter will be breast feeding soon, when she delivery's the twins in July, anxious to see what your answers are...La.

Updated

Trying to find out all the information for our daughter.

K.C.

answers from Barnstable on

Believe it or not, the VAST majority of boobie-feeding moms only feed one side per nursing. My guess is that your milk supply is perfectly matched to your son at this point, so he gets a full feeding on one breast. A 2 hour gap IS the norm for a 3 month old breastfeeding baby because the milk is digested so quickly and their tummy is still tiny.

And, I suspect he is coming up on a growth spurt, which means he is going to eat more often. Remember - he can't make his tummy any bigger, so he just nurses more often.

As for sleeping through the night - HA! In all my years counseling breastfeeding moms and running breastfeeding groups, I have never heard of a 3 month old breastfed baby sleeping through the night. Actually, most get up at least once a night to have a quick "boobie bar" all the way until they are 2 years old.

They best thing to do for sleep is co-sleep. I have co-slept with all my kids and it saved my sanity - you just roll over and whip it out. Before you know it, within 5 minutes they are back to sleep and so are you.

Great job with the baby and tatas!

:)

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M.L.

answers from Fayetteville on

I will add to all the other posters and say that I also usually only fed one side when nursing. With my first child I was having issues with her throwing up after each meal, not just spitting up, it was projectile vomiting. My husband suggested that she was getting too full, so I started only feeding her on one side and that did the trick. Since then with my other nursing experiences and reading some stuff, I am thinking I may tend to overproduce, so she just didn't need both sides.

As far as the 2 hours between, I would just keep going and see if he starts stretching his feedings longer. Is he getting formula or breastmilk at day care? If he is getting formula, perhaps that is the reason he will go longer for them? It takes longer to digest. At night, you can make sure he is hungry before feeding him when he wakes by just waiting to see if he will go back to sleep on his own. If he acts hungry though and is eating a full feeding it may be as others said and he just needs a little more right now.

Edited to add: breastfed babies can sleep through the night, it just takes training. But don't push it if he is hungry, if he is just waking and hasn't learned to quiet himself, then you can start helping learn that. A great sleep training book is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."

M.

R.C.

answers from York on

My son had a side preference and only wanted to nurse from one side so I had to pump the other side. Maybe your son is nursing more proficiently and getting more milk faster and therefore doesn't need both sides? Maybe your son is nursing more often because he is going through a growth spurt. I am pretty sure 3 months is a growth spurt milestone. Maybe you want to check with a lactation consultant for help. I know our local hospital has lactation consultants or you can call your local La Leche League. Breastfeeding can be physically and emotionally draining at times but try to hang in there.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I always only fed one side at a time. And I never stopped our kids to burp them. Breastfed babies don't get air like they would from a bottle. Just let him eat till he's completely content and then burp him at the end. Let him be done if he's done. He will just start eating MORE at a time on ONE side then switching.....

And your let down may be more than what you think. He is probably drinking as much as normal but he may be going through a growth spurt and THAT is the reason he's eating more often.

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M.C.

answers from Miami on

I know this sounds weird, but all of my children took to one breast. In the end, I quit trying the other and found that the right side would just make double the milk. I didn't look lopsided, either, which I expected.

I am not sure why they did that, but they all did. Sometimes moving them over stops the cycle, just keep letting them eat off the one breast until they are done, even if you feel empty. Eventually that breast will compensate for the other.

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My son only takes one side per feed. I'm making more than enough milk to feed him just fine without switching to the other side. If your baby doesn't want the other side, don't push it. You're likely filling him with one breast. It's fine!
My son nurses every 2 or 3 hours, except at night where he will go 4-5 hours. When he wakes in the middle of the night (usually around 4am) I just bring him in with us and co-sleep. I never lose more than a couple minutes sleep.
But I do wake him, change his diaper and feed him right before I go to bed. He also likes to nurse a little more frequently in the late afternoon and evening. So he's cluster nursing some so he can sleep more at night.
Hope that helps!

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

By three months I had a VERY well established milk supply...overproduction is to put it mildly. As you suspect, he just may be full. At this age, babies have learned to nurse very efficiently, your let-down is easier, and you have plenty of milk. The longest my daughter EVER nursed was like 18 minutes total for both sides--she was a thirsty gulper.

Just alternate sides with every feeding.

How much you get with a pump isn't indicative of how much milk you actually have available for the baby. I've read that even a good response to the pump is only yielding 60% of what is available. I was a good example of that...I could pump to what I thought was dry and still nurse my daughter enough to keep her satisfied for a couple of hours.

As for the waking...he could be experiencing a growth spurt. You could try "dream" nursing. Rouse him just enough to nurse right before you go to bed and that may buy you a few extra hours. Also cluster feeding in the evening before bedtime...offer the breast as often as every hour for a few hours may help top him off.

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